11.11.08 THE AWARD SHOW BY AND FOR D STUDENTS

The nominees for the 35th Annual People’s Choice Awards have been announced, and you can see them after the jump.  As always, it reads much like the “Things People Who Don’t Read Might Remember”. The show will air January 7th, and the host, naturally, will be Queen Latifah.  You can vote here, but I’ll think less of you if you do.

Favorite Movie:
The Dark Knight
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Iron Man

I hope they add a “Favorite Monkey Army” category in case Indy doesn’t win this one.

Favorite Comedy Movie:
27 Dresses
Get Smart
Mamma Mia!

I’m just going to pretend I didn’t see this.

Favorite Movie Drama:
21
Eagle Eye
The Secret Life of Bees

I finally saw 21.  It should be taught in screenwriting seminars as “what not to do.”

Favorite Family Movie:
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Kung Fu Panda
WALL-E

Favorite Independent Movie:
The Duchess
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
The Secret Life of Bees

Aka “Movies I saw a commercial for”

Favorite Action Movie:
The Dark Knight
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Iron Man

Okay, now you’re not even trying.

Favorite Cast:
The Dark Knight
Mamma Mia!
Sex and the City

Favorite On Screen Matchup:
Christian Bale & Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight
Shia LaBeouf & Harrison Ford - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Tina Fey & Amy Poehler - Baby Mamma

Favorite Female Movie Star:
Angelina Jolie
Keira Knightley
Reese Witherspoon

Reese Witherspoon has one credit in 2008, Four Christmases, and that’s not out yet.

Favorite Male Movie Star:
Harrison Ford
Robert Downey Jr.
Will Smith

They should have a “Favorite People’s Choice Award Nominee” category and have the nominees be Will Smith, Will Smith, and Will Smith.

Favorite Male Action Star:
Christian Bale
Robert Downey Jr.
Will Smith

We’re only nominating three people at a time and still we can’t avoid repeating two from the last category?

Favorite Female Action Star:
Angelina Jolie
Anne Hathaway
Cate Blanchett

Favorite Leading Man:
Brad Pitt
Christian Bale
Mark Wahlberg

Good thing none of these guys are movie or action stars.

Favorite Leading Lady:
Anne Hathaway
Kate Hudson
Queen Latifah

Must’ve missed that movie where Queen Latifah played the lead.

Favorite Superhero:
Christian Bale as Batman/Bruce Wayne
Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man
Will Smith as John Hancock

Hancock is a superhero now?  They just had to figure out a way to nominate Will Smiff again.

Favorite Funny Male Star:
Adam Sandler
Jim Carrey
Steve Carell

Only one of these three has been funny in the last five years

Favorite Funny Female Star
Tina Fey
Ellen DeGeneres
Whoopi Goldberg

No Joan Rivers?  No Phyllis Diller?  This list is bullshit.

TV-RELATED CATEGORIES:

FAVORITE TV DRAMA
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Grey’s Anatomy
House

FAVORITE TV COMEDY
Samantha Who?
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty

FAVORITE ANIMATED COMEDY
Family Guy
The Simpsons
South Park

FAVORITE SCI-FI / FANTASY SHOW
Heroes
Supernatural
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

FAVORITE COMPETITION / REALITY SHOW
American Idol
Dancing with the Stars
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

FAVORITE GAME SHOW
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
Deal Or No Deal
JEOPARDY

FAVORITE MALE TV STAR
Patrick Dempsey
Hugh Laurie
Charlie Sheen

FAVORITE FEMALE TV STAR
Christina Applegate
Sally Field
Mariska Hargitay

FAVORITE TALK SHOW HOST
Ellen DeGeneres
David Letterman
Regis Philbin & Kelly Ripa

FAVORITE SCENE-STEALING GUEST STAR
Luke Perry on Law & Order: SVU
Britney Spears on How I Met Your Mother
Robin Williams on Law & Order: SVU

FAVORITE TV DRAMA DIVA
Holly Hunter as Grace Hanadarko on Saving Grace
Mary-Louise Parker as Nancy Botwin on Weeds
Kyra Sedgwick as Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson on The Closer

FAVORITE NEW TV DRAMA
90210
Crusoe
Easy Money
Eleventh Hour
Fringe
Knight Rider
Life on Mars
The Mentalist
My Own Worst Enemy
Privileged

FAVORITE NEW TV COMEDY
Gary Unmarried
Kath & Kim
Valentine
Worst Week

MUSIC

FAVORITE MALE SINGER
Chris Brown
Kenny Chesney
Brad Paisley

FAVORITE FEMALE SINGER
Alicia Keys
Rihanna
Carrie Underwood

FAVORITE GROUP
Coldplay
Maroon 5
Rascal Flatts

FAVORITE R & B SONG
“No One” by Alicia Keys
“Take a Bow” by Rihanna
“With You” by Chris Brown

FAVORITE POP SONG
“Disturbia” by Rihanna
“I Kissed a Girl” by Katy Perry
“No Air” by Jordin Sparks, featuring Chris Brown

FAVORITE ROCK SONG
“All Summer Long” by Kid Rock
“Apologize” by OneRepublic & Timbaland
“Viva la Vida” by Coldplay

I promised myself I wouldn’t even comment on the music section, but not one of these is a rock song.

FAVORITE COUNTRY SONG
“Last Name” by Carrie Underwood
“Love Story” by Taylor Swift
“Take Me There” by Rascal Flatts

FAVORITE HIP-HOP SONG
“Good Life” by Kanye West
“Lollipop” by Lil Wayne, featuring Static Major
“Low” by Flo Rida, featuring T-Pain

FAVORITE COMBINED FORCES
“4 Minutes” by Madonna, featuring Justin Timberlake
“Love Like This” by Natasha Bedingfield, featuring Sean Kingston   No Air” by Jordin Sparks, featuring Chris Brown

FAVORITE SONG FROM A SOUNDTRACK
“Another Way to Die” by Jack White & Alicia Keys, from Quantum of Solace
“Labels or Love” by Fergie, from Sex and the City
“Mamma Mia” by Meryl Streep, from Mamma Mia!