Ufford found this photo of Wahlberg and DiCaprio back in the day – it’s apropos of nothing, but totally awesome. DiCaprio is clearly a little uneasy about Wahblerg’s wigger act with so many black dudes around. “Just relax, Leonahdo, stawp bein’ such a queah.”
Two new Star Trek posters featuring “Shirtless” Uhura, and Eric Bana as Nero – who, between the tribal tattoo and the cauliflower ear, I’m pretty sure is a UFC fighter. [Screenrant]
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button has posters. Hold on… the writing on Brad Pitt’s is backwards… Wait, I get it! LOL! [RopeofSilicon]
Speaking of LOL, “LOLGrandparents” are a lot like LOLCatz. Only smellier. [HolyTaco]
The Wolf Man gots delayed. Aw, now I’ll have to wait even longer to not see it. Sad Wolf Man :’-{ [Filmonic]
In honor of “Bronx Mowgli Wentz”, it’s the emo baby name generator. I got “CabriniGreen Mustafa Mancini”, which is actually kind of sweet. [Bestweekever]
Screenjunkies celebrates the career of Jim Belushi. I’ll be honest, I like this more in theory than in practice. [Screenjunkies]
A Colbert Christmas debuts tomorrow night on Comedy Central at 10. I don’t like Toby Keith trying to make fun of himself, but I’ll forgive Colbert for putting him on because of his joke about Obama wanting to change “God” in the pledge of allegiance to “Gay Baby”. [ComedyCentral]
Timothy Olyphant has joined the cast of The Crazies, the rare masturbatory George Romero remake not being directed by George Romero. I like Timothy Olyphant but he needs to fire his agent before it’s too late. [THR]
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I got Downtown Gonzo Hodey.
I don’t know how that magical machine figured out what I was planning on naming my future daughter, but that is scary.
I’ll have the Beijing Spongebob Reese, with a side of ridicule.
Frankfurt TheGreatGazoo Al. Pure awesomeness.
RockHill PeppermintPatty Sealy
Hey Hodey, I’ll take your Gonzo and raise you one peppermint patty. With anal.
No deal, nazzy. Everybody knows Peppermint Patty doesn’t do anal.
Sorrow Io Dangerously.
Wait, there is generator?
^Lol Grandparents
Sorry, I’m already drunk.
Wow Pauly, at 11am?
* grabs bottle *
Gimme half an hour, buddy.
Albuquerque Fozzie Saves
Thats kinda awesome.
*Cut to two lolgrandpas heckling in the balcony*
NewOrleans MadHatter is my emo name.
Madagascar Slinky moreno
not really sure how I feel about that
El Topo, was your favorite song something by Danzig?
I actually picked “bullet”. It’s Misfits
You mean nobody else picked “Bodies” by Drowning Pool as the song and “Freidberg/Seltzer Movies” for what makes you sad?
Are you FDers or not?
I wish I would have picked “Tequila” and “empty jenkem balloons”
Cambodia Elmo tion!
I put “The continued existence and success of Bret Ratner” for what makes me sad.
Sweeeeeeeeeeeet Elmooooootion!
I picked “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” because I couldn’t think of anything else.
I don’t know why.
Did you spell it like reaux, reaux, reaux yeauxr beauxt?
Is Cambodia a boy’s name of a girl’s name?
Anyway if I have a boy, he’s going to be Lawrence Moses.
A girl will be Shirley; no middle name.
Al’s avatar always pointing at me like that makes me sad.
Cambodia can be either a girl’s name or a boy’s name. Just don’t ever get him or her a dog named “Rouge”
I just don’t think your neighbors would appreciate Cambodia yelling “Come ‘ere, Rouge!”
*Weekend corner time!*
Why would my kid talk like a redneck?
That’s not redneck speak, I always figured you to have an english accent.
Sorry to disappoint, but I pronounce my “h”s.
[mumbles]
Especially your Preparation H’s…
Well, my Canuckleheads are winning the game but lost Lu.
Everyone have a drink.
Donk, I’ll have you know that a healthy diet and using baby wipes when I poop has gotten rid of my hemorrhoids.
Don’t you look stupid now.
Not half as stupid as when I started minting Dan Rosen memorial plates to sell.
Want me to take him out for ya, Donk? Cuz I will.
I want to name my firstborn “Captain Awesome Kirk.” Or, better yet, “Cap’n.” To combine my love of Star Trek and breakfast cereals.
“Leahnahdo…….yer a movie stah, right? Waht’s that like? I did a movie too…..called Boogie Nights, evah heard of it? Waht’s that, a glass uh wine? All right, all right. Say hi t’yah mutha for me.”
For my favorite song I put “Jenk and Juice”
Rollin’ down the street
Huffin’ doodoo
Sippin’ on Jenk and juice
Shirley!? You can’t be serious, Jack!
I’ma got St Petersburg Mulan. It took me a while because like so many emo aficionados, I had a hard time choosing only one thing that made me sad. I settled on raisins.
DiCaprio: Um, mister Whalberg?
Marky Mark: Yo, mah name is Marky Mark, honky.
DiCaprio: Uhhhh, okay. Do you think you and I will ever star in a Best Picture Oscar winning Scorsese flick?
Marky Mark: Sheee-it. I might, but yo scrawny ass is still strugglin’ on Growing Pains. Ain’t no way that shit’ll happen with you. You see dis ‘G’ on my ear warmers!? Dass cuz I’m a G-thug, homey!
DiCaprio: That ‘G’ stands for Green Bay. Are you trying to tell me that you’re a Packers fan, Marky Mark?
Marky Mark: I don’t go by that name anymore.
Epilogue:
Twenty minutes after that photo, they both got the call for The Basketball Diaries.
{stumbles into room with shot of burning bacardi 101, throws over shoulder, setting bus full of nuns aflame}
And What Bitches?!
Oh, CKT…
WhiteMountain Flik Feklahr
OldHarbor Smurfette Palin
This seems like a perfectly normal name to me.
OldHarbor Chewbaca Beck
Oh yeah, I think I will go out and get knocked up, pronto!
Wait a minute!!!
Fek, time to put “DrunkFilmDrunk”, or “DFD” on your blogspot. Similar to drunk dialing/texting, yet somehow different.
Sincerely,
Aimlessly On, proud father of newborn Hungary Timone On.
Wait, you mean people actually visit this place sober?