This originally came out around this time last year, but in honor of the People’s Choice Awards releasing their list of nominees, I couldn’t resist reposting. As always, feel free to submit your own.
People’s Choice Awards – The Lost Categories
Favorite Beverage: Sunny Delight, Kool Aid, Mountain Dew, Coors
Favorite Author: Dan Brown, John Grisham, Donald Trump, Jesus
Favorite Birth Control Method: Condoms, Saran Wrap, Mountain Dew, Anal
Favorite Sport: NASCAR, Noodling, Grabass, Horseplay
• Favorite Salad Dressing: Ranch, Thousand Island, Buttermilk, Gravy
• Favorite Scapegoat: Queers, The Devil, Mexicans, Evolution
• Favorite Restaurant: Arby’s, The Olive Garden, Dairy Queen, Spago
• Favorite Tattoo: ‘Mom’, Arm Band, Tramp Stamp, Tribal
• Favorite Footwear: Socks, Tube Socks, Aqua Socks, Birkenstocks
• Favorite Dessert: Snickers, Otter Pops, Toothpaste, Keystone
• Favorite Actress: Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Jenna Jameson, That Black Chick
• Favorite Neckwear: Scarf, Ascot, T-Shirt, Hickies
• Favorite Foreigner: David Beckham, Borat, 50 Cent, A-Rod
• Favorite Steak: Sirloin, Salisbury, Chicken-Fried, Tube
• Favorite Facial Hair: Goatee, Soul Patch, Chinstrap, Neck Beard
• Favorite Statutory Rape Rationalization: “If She’s Old Enough to Bleed, She’s Old Enough to Breed,” “If There’s Grass on the Field, Play Ball,” “If She’s Tall Enough to Reach the Mailbox, She’s Old Enough to Get the Package,” “Shit Happens.”
• Favorite Child Name: Connor, Cody, Cooder, Shitferbrains
• Favorite Hairstyle (Male): Mullet, Bowl Cut, ‘Bama Bangs, Sox Hat
• Favorite Hairstyle (Female): Jersey Girl, Fe-Mullet, Power Bangs, Sox Hat
• Favorite Minority: Coloreds, Slant Eyes, Towel Heads, Pedro
• Favorite Contraction: Ain’t, Y’all, Wadn’t, Mu’F-cker
• Favorite Snack: Bugles, Pork Rinds, Cigarettes, Hot Pockets
• Favorite Ethnic Food: Orange Chicken, Croissants, Mac n Cheese, Nachos
And, since this is People’s Choice, feel free to submit your own!
User Submitted:
Favorite Birth Defects: Webbed Feet, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Club Feet, Freckles
Favorite Place to Beat Your Kids: Butt, Face and Neck Area, Right Thur in the Middle a the Goddamned Wal-Mart in Front a the Manager and Everbuddy
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Favorite Educational Programming: Sesame Street, Dateline NBC, When Animals Attack, Cops
Least Favorite Spade: Obama, 50-cent, Will Smiff, David
Favorite Tree: Country
Favorite Lawn Ornamentation: Flamingos, Mirror Balls, Gnomes, Cars on Blocks.
Favourite Cockroach Nickname-La Cucaracha, Milquetoast, “Who stepped on a Junior Mint????”
Vince, if you were just slightly more feminine, I’d make crazy mad love to you. “Ouch my vagina”? Awesome.
Favorite Time: Country, Daylight Savings, Quittin’, Nap, Sexy
Favorite Sickle: Pop; Grim Reaper’s; Cell Anemia
Favorite Halloween Costume: Mom, Dad, Sarah Palin
Favorite Rock: Granite, Hudson, The, Strongo
Favorite schoolmate to beat up: Four Eyes, Nerdlinger, Geekbomber, The Kid in the Wheelchair
Favorite Beer: Pabst, Budweiser, Duff, Stella Artois, Stella? What the fuck you doin’ drinkin that pinko commie horse piss?
Favorite alternate viewing choice: Aries Spears Biopic (uncontested)
Favorite Rock Band: Lynard Skynard, Lynard Skynard, That Band that Plays “Sweet Home Alabama”
Favorite Black Actor: Will Smith, Robert Downey Jr.
Favorite Country to Threaten to Move to After That Colored Fella Was Elected: Canada, Communist Russia, Africa
eSrR, misspelling Lynyrd Skynyrd to a PCA voter is like showing a picture of Mohammed to a muslim
Favorite maternity excercise: 3-wheeling, 4- wheeling, microwave watching and not getting any more pregnant-wink wink
My favorite caption for that banner pic was in the form of an inspirational poster, which read simply:
VAGINA
It’s not a clown car.
Favorite Mother of the Year: Lynn Spears, Britney Spears, Jamie-Lynn Spears
tyni, I think I’ll be ok here since most People’s Choice Awards voters can’t read.
Favorite type of Abortion: Coat Hanger, Orange Juice, Punches, prayer
Favorite Blue State: Virginia; Florida; Fuck you, Yankee
Best Way To Describe George W. Bush: Great President, Greatest President
Favorite Retard: Sandler, W, That neighbor kid with the hairlip, Kentucky
Favorite Country: Texas, United States, I’ve never heard of that kind of tree
Favorite line not nominated for CoTW: Crew on left: Engage. Crew on right: ENGAGED!
Pictured-16 potential votes for Proposition 8.
Favourite spelling of Favourite: Yup, still Favourite.
Favorite Favorite thread: Last year’s.
Stoney-He had to go with His gut on that one. :(
Favorite Snorg Tees Girl: The one with the tits; The one with the legs; The one where you have to a doubletake because it looks like you can see up her skirt; the one with the hump.
Favorite non-talent black cross-dresser in a shitty comedy: Eddie Murphy, Tyler Perry, Martin Lawrence.
Favorite Shack: Love, Radio, #32 for the Orlando Magic, The one my mom cooks meth in
favorite place to blow your load: your shower, your bed, your car, your neighbors milk (sorry justin)
Favorite Lost Character: Jack Shepard, Will Robinson, Holly Marshall, Gilligan
Shouldn’t Best Birth Defect include “Jewish”?
Best Midget Porn Movie: Itty Bitty Gang Bang, Tiny Titty Twisters Volume VI, I Cant’ Believe I’m Not a Pedophile.