Probably Triumph the Insult Comic Dog’s most famous bit was ripping on the guy who showed up to the premiere of Star Wars Episode I dressed as some sort of Lord of the Rings wizard while eating a Burger King Filet o’ Fish sandwich (I’ve attached that video after the jump, though I’m confident most of you have already seen it).  Well apparently, Triumph has kept in touch with the wizard, who goes by “Blackwolf” (because he’s black, you see), and recently invited him back on the Conan show to meet his favorite band, Finnish goth metallers Lordi.  The super awkward meeting begins at about the 3:30 mark.  At the 4:05 mark, Triumph encourages Blackwolf to hit on the female band member, so I assume Triumph had been out of the room when Blackwolf tells the bassist that “Bass players are simply delicious,” at the 3:55 mark.

I feel like I need to bathe in Clearasil after watching that.  I heard the cameraman for that segment is currently undergoing treatment for autism.

[via /Film]
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Director David Fincher (Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Fight Club) is attached to a project called Chef, starring Keanu Reeves. I’m gonna be honest here: I read the first two lines of the story, thought up that headline, made the picture, and pretty much checked out after that.  I apologize.

“There is no spoooon….”

Duplicity (trailer after the jump) stars Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, and Tom Wilkinson, and comes from Michael Clayton director Tony Gilroy (“H.W. calls it Michael Gay-ton.  That’s a burn”).  Judging by the kooky horn music, it’s some kind of screwball comedy, and Clive Owen and Julia Roberts are a spy couple.

What would it take to live like this?
20 million dollars?
I was thinking more like 40.
So what do you have to do to make 40 million dollars?

Well, you could always just have Julia Roberts’ character go undercover as Julia Roberts like in Ocean’s Twelve.  Goddamn that was f-cking stupid.
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RoboPanda sent me this clip of Twilight star Robert Pattinson on what I gather is a regular segment on a Canadian TV show called The Hour.  The segment is called “Best Story Ever”, and the premise is that they just ask celebrities to tell their best story ever and leave it mostly unedited.  Here’s Robert Pattinson’s:

“When I was 17, I was taking an exam in school, I think it was joker themed (?) and I hadn’t studied at all for it.  And uh, I didn’t know the answer to first question and I just shut my eyes.  I was considering whether to leave the room or not, and then there was this like, fully realized, three dimensional hologram of Buddha in my head.  And uh, I sort of looked at it, and it threw these little spinning jack things (?) into my eyes, and I opened my eyes and I knew every answer to this exam.  Every time I shut my eyes though, this Buddha was still there for like three months.  And I could ask it questions about things… after about three months I told someone about it, and then I realized I could ask it to do things and it would affect fate, and it would actually change what happened in the world, which freaked me out a bit.  I asked it to do a number of things which have significantly altered my life in a lot of ways.  And then I met this girl, who I got really obsessed with, and the Buddha left, and she stayed in my head.  And for about five years, I resented her every single day for it.  And then I asked her about it last year… and she didn’t know what I was talking about.”

I’m assuming he was trying to be funny, but with British people it’s hard to tell sometimes.  If there’s a man dressed as a woman in the room, that’s usually a dead giveaway.  Without it, kind of ambiguous.  Regardless, he shouldn’t kid about this kind of shit with Kristen Stewart around.  This could’ve seriously harshed her mellow, or at the very least, led to hours of introspection.

This is the trailer for the Thai basketball movie Fireball.  Now, don’t just sit there wondering whether someone gets kneed in the face, it’s a Thai basketball movie, of course someone gets kneed in the face.  Word on the street is that the trouble started when one basketball team stole a baby elephant the other team had sworn to protect.

Also be sure to listen for the Thai Linkin Park which fades in at about the two minute mark.

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