After the jump, I’ve got yet another new clip from the Transporter 3. The Stath wanted to provide more commentary, and I worry that he’s wearing out his welcome. But look at that face. I can’t say no to that face.
Oi, Stafam ‘ere again. Oy’s heah ta introduce dis new clip from da Transpor’a paht free, now don’ oy? In dis one, some black cunt insults moy fock’n sazz wagon whoilst a fit bird Oy’s knobbin watches. An’ so Oy’s loike, Oi, don’ nobody insults moy fock’n sazz wagon, now doesn’ dey? An’ so oy giv da black cunt da stink oy. An ‘e sends over dese cunts ta troy an bash me. So oy sees dese ovva cunts comin, an Oy give em da first shot. An Oy’s loike, “Oi, if Oy wanted a pinch anna tickle, oy’d a called your mums, now wouldn’ oy?” An so Oy stahts bashin’ cunts, an frowin fock’n karate kicks an oww dat, an pretty soon da fock’n cunts is pretty well buggered. So Oy look ova at da fit bird ta see what she’s finkin, an oy kin tell she’s aww loike, “Oi, dat’s noice, but whoy ‘as you still got aww your clovves on?” An oy realoize she’s roight! Oy’m fock’n Jason Stafam! Oy don’ keep moy shir’ on whoile oy’s buggerin cunts, now does Oy? So den whoile Oy’s bashin’ da rest a da cunts, Oy staht takin’ moy clovves off, piece boy piece, dat way, boy da toime dere’s no more cunts ta bash, moy clovves will aww be off, an oy kin staht knobbin da bird straightaway. Pretty fock’n cleva, now doesn’ oy.


I can’t tell if he’s playing swords or swinging pole in that pic.
I said this before, but I don’t think any one saw it:
1 punch + 1 kick = 1 corpse
That’s Stath math.
Is there a face in that picture? I hadn’t noticed.
The Stath looks like Randy Couture is he wasn’t my hero.
Internal Use Only – Indeed!
I make English goodly.
Look at his face, then picture him yelling “Snausages!” and tell me you didn’t laugh.
Jack, I’m stealing that for my headline.
Jack has been on fire this week – all hail
What’s with the fugly ginger? She’s ruining my Stath moment.
Last time I got hit with Jason’s pole I got a stath infection.
WOO!
I would like to announce my retirement.
This is an extremely awesome way to come back from lunch drunk.
However; I am unclear as to why he has not been introduced to wax yet?
There’s a little Stath in all of us.
You just have to take off your shirt.
Al, his chest hairs were straight, but were to powerful to get pulled out, so they just got curly like when you do the scissor trick with giftwrap ribon.
You’re getting new tires Jack!?
I keep reading that title as if George Thorogood was singing it. I fucking hate George Thorogood.
Peet-Between this and the Counting Crows stuff, you are on some MIGHTY THIN ice with Him.
1 punch + 1 kick + the splits + a shot from an automatic pistol = 1 corpse JCVD style.
That’s not far from my Christmas Party math. 1 Punch + 1 Roofie = 1 Good Night.
*John Wayne in a Devo Hat pulls up on a moped wearing ass-less leather chaps and a helmet with a giant dildo stuck on top.
“Hi fags!”
Hey Duke!
*Points over to Chodin’s dead-since-2006 cousin*
Help yourself!
Good evening John Wayne in a Devo Hat or should i say Thom Creed. *grabs John Wayne in a Devo Hat by the cheeks* “Remove that mask!”
*Pulls fist out of chodin’s dead-since-2006 cousin’s ass*
“Hey chodin, I think I found your kabbalah bracelet, wait-never mind. It’s just the small intestine”.
Hey…how come Duke and erswi are never in the same room at the same time???
Would he say “Oy” more if he was Jewson Statham? I say nay.
Donkey, Charlie, Fek! Since when did we get numbered comment pages again? This place is getting classy shit covered ghetto!
It’s been a few days, Duke. The problem is that, with only 25 comments per page, it’s much harder to keep the ghey up.
Geroge Washingtoe!
Only 25 per page? Did the new president distribute the other 25 to unemployed food stamp pimps?
They need the extra 25 comments worth of space for Dr. Manhattan’s package down there.
Wow! Look at that other stuff down there! Whaaa? Kid Rock wore a Titan’s jersey at the Country Hick Jamboree Awards Show? That shit’s crazy off the hook shizzalappadappa woppa boppa shamma lamma!
They missed out by not casting Jason Statham as Dr Manhattan. He’s got the head, he’s got the physique and by Jove he’s got the gravitas.
By “They” i mean people who like that sort of thing.
*chodin attempts to leap into the FilmDrunk double dutch, fucks up and gets whipped in the shin*
My fucking splints!!!!
You know what I re-watched last night? Layer Cake
Daniel Craig > Jason Statham
It’s true. It’s Limey Math.
Is it just me, or did that clip seem a little dark?
Good movie, Layer Cake. Very talented fella that Matthew Vaughn. Landing Claudia Schiffer couldn’t have hurt his confidence either.
There was a clip? What was it about? No one told me nothin’ about no clips. Is it a cartoon? I hope so. I like me some cartoons. Yay cartoons!
fuck you chodin and the hairless young asian boy you rode in on.
I’m sure Jason Statham is a really nice guy, but still, if he ever stopped me on the street and asked for directions, I’m pretty sure my immediate reaction would be to throw my girlfriend at him and then take off the other way.
Jason Statham IS a really nice guy and he needs your girlfriend like a moose needs a fucking hat rack. However, if you threw him a hat rack, that’s a different story. Stath might need one of them. Or a moose.
Nooo, you have to give him direction orally.
Do Audi’s come with a moose roof?
Craig does rate higher than Stath but Stath has the market cornered on shirtless fighting…and I like that.
Funny…Michelle never has two cups of man at home.
Shirtless fighting is where it’s at. Way cooler than pantsless fighting any day of the week.
If you think Statham’s one kick one punch technique is badass wait until you see Craig disabling three fucking secret service guys in a lift. Although he was lucky the three fucking secret service guys all suffered from Osteogenesis Imperfecta, otherwise that could have been quite an implausible situation.
lift = elevator. I keep forgetting you people are mostly American.
I used to fight people with my shirt off, but then I got tired of the ambulance crew always asking, “Hey kid, who fucked you up so bad and stole your shirt?”.
Now I fight in turtlenecks.
If there are any big shot Hollywood writers reading this, could you write some fight scenes with shirtless chicks slapping each other around with their big sloppy bewbs, please?
Thank You.
Sincerely,
The Guy Who Wants To See More Chicks Hitting Each Other With Their Bewbs
I only leg wrestle. It’s such a pain in the ass to get would be attackers to agree to that, but it’s worth it in the end.
I used to drive an Audi. Mine came specially equipped with “really expensive repairs”.
I used to fight with my bewbs. They called me “Ol’ Whack Sacks”.
I was in a head on collision in my Audi and climbed out of the sun roof. Not interesting I guess but true. I used the insurance money to move to NY and now spend my free time on FilmDrunk and other social networking sites. I miss my car. But you guys…you guys I love.
*forms fetal position under desk and sobs*
No Friday Free For All? No Weekend Preview? What the deuce am I paying you for?
I lost the bewb belt to the fat actor guy that played Tony Soprano. He caught me with an udder-upper cut to the left bewb that knocked the milk outta me.
I used to play with my ex-girlfriends “bewbs”, but then her body fully deteriorated so I figured it was time to fully bury her.
We got better than that, Peet. We got Mega Mammary Slap Match 3 Days From Monday goin’ on up in here!
*chodin returns to thread*
I swear to Christ, if one more mother fucker pulls up to the drive-thru, I’m shooting someone.
I specifically said I wanted “Curly Fries”, you stupid dip-shit.
I’m sorry sir, I could have sworn I specifically heard you say, “Short N’ Curly Fries” over the loud speaker. I swear I’ll never dunk my balls in your order again.
GET ME A WHOPPER.
Well be more careful next time. Now hurry up with my order. Chop Chop, fuck nut. I’m in a hurry.
You want a Whopper? The blue guy down there has one for ya.
I wish I was never broiled
My favorite part about eating fast food is waking up the next morning and feeling like I just fucked cancer.
What I like about fast food is that fat chicks will fuck you if you buy it for them.
What I like about fast food is that mexicans will work for you if you buy it for them.
What I like about fast food is that it shortens the life expectancy of millions of people who would otherwise be stealing my air.
What I like about fast food is that you don’t need a high school dimploma to count a 20 piece chicken mcnugget meal.
What I like about fast food is that it gives my cousins from my mom’s side of the family, somewhere to work.
What I like about fast food is Chodin’s cousin will suck my dick on her smoke break.
What I like about fast food is that I can lie to Pedro that he didn’t give me my onion rings and he’ll give me some more and say “I sorry. Here, more unyahn rrrings”
What I like about fast food is that when I freestyle my order they won’t spit in my food. They’ll cum in it.
5 dollar foot looooooooooooooongs
What I like about fast food is that it keeps the chick in my basement quiet for a little bit when I feed it to her.
What I like about fast food is how it gives homeless people and seagulls something to fight over.
I had an Audi too! Hooray, I couldnt sell it!
I like fast food because the grease and salt numb the crippling emotional torment of loneliness…anyone?
Grrrr, jalapeno poppers?
What I like about
youfast food, you hold me tightTell me I’m the only one, wanna come over tonight, yeah
You’re whispering in my ear
Tell me all the things that I wanna to hear, ’cause that’s true
That’s what I like about
youfast food