MEET THE NEW SNL CAST MEMBERS
11.13.08According to NY Mag, SNL just hired two new chicks, Michaela Watkins from The New Adventures of Old Christine, and Abby Elliot, daughter of the often likable Chris Elliott. You can see Watkins’ audition tape above and Elliott’s after the jump. Meh. What SNL needs isn’t more castmembers, it’s less. I think girls would be most valuable if they killed Kenan Thompson.
Also, when did “Michaela” become an acceptable name? You can’t just add “A” to a name and make it a girl’s name, dude, that’s just cheating.
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*crosses Vincea off list of girl’s baby names*
Well, fuck.
Michaela Watkins looks like Andy Samberg in drag.
Chris Elliot had sex?
Vince, if I ever get within cock punching distance of you, consider yourself warned.
You telling me that the adorable and big titted Abby Elliot is Chris Elliot’s spawn made my weiner sad.
You’d have to be pretty close. :’-(
*Throws away picture of puppies dying of Tuberculosis and replaces it picture of grandmother’s casket*
There, I’ve updated my SNL’s-chances-of-making-me-laugh-chart
Fuck the letter “A”. I find that by adding the word “bitch” to anything, automatically makes it female.
Who the fuck stole my “with” ?!
Remember how Chris Elliot used to do impressions of people that weren’t actual impressions?
How is it that his daughter can actually do impressions?
*Throws away picture of Estelle Getty and replaces it with picture of Estelle Getty holding a steak*
There, I’ve updated my SNL’s-chances-of-making-me-masturbate-chart.
FEKLAHRA????????
If SNL really wanted to up their funny, they’d hire this girl…..s……
http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/abby_and_brittany.jpg
Wait…so you’re telling me that my “Right Handa” is a chick!?
Fuck I feel gay.
No fucking wonder Panda mating fales, buncha dykes.
The blonde chick is like a parallel universe Britney Spears.
*resumes shaving balls whilst singing “Womanizer, woman-womanizer You’re a womanizer Oh, womanizer, oh You’re a womanizer, baby
When asked about adding the letter “A” to the end of a name, in order to turn it female, E. Honda delivered the Hundred Hand Slap before exclaiming, “NO!” .
Thank God Abby Elliot got her father’s sense of humor and not his looks.
As for that other tranny, fucked if I know, I didn’t watch it. Who do I look like, Brett Ratner?
Fales? Fuck it, I got nothing.
So what you’re trying to tell me is that Chis Elliot had sex?
The funniest part about SNL these days, is telling my little cousin that he’s “gay” for watching it.
Michaela Watkins should just stick to what she knows best: laundry, beeeooooootch.
*grabs nuts HARD and bites bottom lip*
The funniest part about SNL for me these days is fucking Chodin’s cousin while we’re watching it.
Monster Mother: “I’m not naming our child Godzill, that just sounds fucking retarded.”
Monster Father: “Look bitch, this fucking kid is gonna’ grow up to be 18-stories tall. There is no-fucking-way that I’m letting you and your dumbass mother talk me out of a name.”
Well I was gonna say Michela looks like Andy Sandberg in drag but JHC beat me to it fuck im out of ideas now. San Deamis High school football rules!!!!
Donk, f.y.i. – you realize he’s been laying there dead since ’06, right?
What’s funny Jimbone, is that it would be a coin flip on which one I’d fuck first.
I’m seriously considering sending in this tape of my spinning in my chair but I don’t really want to work Saturday nights. I’m too busy having your Mom sex.*
*crying in the tub
*nudges Donkey
Aren’t you going to introduce me to your quiet friend?
Chodski, I did not realize this. I’ll bet that, at this point, he’s more astroglide than man.
His tummy is nice and concave now though so my dinner stopped sliding off. And I like that.
Fret not, Donk. The fact that he’s been dead for two years has really saved me cheddar on the “morning after” pill.
I want to fuck all of the newest SNL cast members. And for those of you who are unfamiliar, when I say “fuck” I really mean “cut into pieces”.
“Mom, can you fuck my porkchop for me?”
What!? Was it the porkchop reference? You fuckers got something against pork?
*checks down pants*
Where the fuck is everybody?
As the eldest son, I always fuck the turkey on Thanksgiving.
The tradition of the newlyweds fucking the cake is my favorite wedding moment.
*Chases Chodin down with a pissboot, throws it at him right as he ducks, the crowd behind him is sprayed with confetti*
What the fuck?
{Finishes off pissboot, tosses shitty $5 bill onto bar}
I’m out turdwrinkles!
Hey Crap, I just wanted you to know that I too was going to set a picture of my ride as my avatar.
Trouble is that I couldn’t get any of the kids to hold still for the photo.
*chodn drops to knees and licks up shattered pissboot*
Fuck, I love this stuff…
That bitch stole my phone sex business and is using it for jokes. I feel violated.
why so serious Michaela?
P.S. my nut sack called and they’re interested in acquiring the herpes that have gathered on your lips.
Chris Elliott got laid?
NoMoPolenta, shut the fuck up.
NoMoPolenta needs to learn to read the whole thread from Comment #1 (and focusing particularly on Comment #3) when considering commenting him/herself.
So as to avoid accidentally stepping on anyone’s dick.
Al, shut the fuck up.
** runs off to the bedroom crying**
Cocksucker.
i’m a dad. sadie & jude were born @ 4:30, 11-11-08. more details 2 follow tomorrow.
OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD dude congratulations, man :) :)
Seriously! Right on Erswi :D
erswi, shut the fuck… wait, what?
Congratulations!
BTK – it coulda been Sadie and “Jade”, you know. Jerk.
Al, shut the fuck up.
Stop being mean to poor Al.
Eib, shut the fuck up.
Erswi – Congrats! Hey, did you name them after Jude Law and his first wife, Sadie Frost? Why do I know that? Argh.
FUCK YOU JACKTION!
Preemptive striiiiiiiiiiiike
Are you tattooing them to tell them apart? CONGRATS!!! That’s freaking awesome. And from what I hear, hurty – for the wife at least.