Movies-online recently broke this new poster for Red Sonja, starring Rose McGowan, which is being produced by her boyfriend Robert Rodriguez. This movie is going to be horrible, but I have to admit that the new poster plays to her strengths: her cleavage and my desire to see her get stabbed in the head with a sword.
In related news, I gave a hooker a Red Sonja once. Once.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/only-god-forgives-poster-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/star-trek-into-darkness-alice-eve-chris-pine-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/this-week-in-posters-the-rock-is-jacked-in-pain-and-gain-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/Spring-Breakers-Everytime-Poster-150x150.jpg)
** Runs off to urbandictionary to look up “Red Sonja” **
Oh. Nevermind then.
How do you make a Red Sonja? Tell her she looks lovely in that dress.
Then punch her in her fucking nose.
Unfortunately, the movie has to play down her weaknesses, i.e. her inability to act.
This poster has my dick… McGrowin?
Nah.
Her leg is still a machine gun, right?
Bah. I could wear a mithril chain mail push up brassier and have that kind of cleavage.
*admires man tits in mirror*
I’d fuck me. Wha???
Why couldn’t she be dating McG? Then she wouldn’t ruin cool movie ideas.
Also, then she wouldn’t really have to change her name if they got married.
Is this one of those posters thats in all Black, White, and Red?
Oh wait… shes always that pale
Am I to believe her vagina is emitting smoke? Because that would at least make her useful at Bar Mitvahs and college bars.
Sword swallowing, she’s doing it wrong.
Fuckin’ commie.
I’d rather watch this with the star from Ong Bak. Red Sonjaa.
I looked at the Sonja Bakker diet plan, so one could say that I have read Sonja.
I’d rather watch this with that fag from American Idol. Red Sanjaya.
Hell, I’d rather watch Red Auerbach.
This is based on that Rush song set in the future when cars are banned, right?
(hopes Jesus isn’t drunk yet and gets the reference)
Awesome Johnny Dangerously reference. Once.
Err… that was a reference to Johnny Dangerously, right?
If the creator of Glen and Zog had a communist character, would it be Red Stoneja?
New up!
We only make 5-6 Dangerously refs a week around here.
I made one once. Once.
Wait…is that sword in her head?
nothing says “serious badass” like red and black.
also, nothing says “havent you learned? save your goddamn money this time” like Robert Rodriguez Presents.
My father hung me from a coat hook. Once.