LIKE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLYFISH
11.20.08I haven’t posted a UFC-star crossover movie in a while now, but fear not because Never Surrender is here, and it looks almost as good as Beyond the Ring. It stars George St. Pierre, Rampage Jackson, B.J. Penn, and Anderson Silva.
Never Surrender is an erotically charged, controversial action-thriller set in the world of underground street fighting where an MMA fighter who has been drawn into the world by an erotic and sexy promoter, quickly realizes that there is no way out, other than death. [IMDB synopsis - written by the director]
Sounds uh, erotic. Look, I love MMA and I love movies, but the combination really doesn’t work. It’s like saying, “Hey, people like basketball. Why don’t we make a movie about basketball, but more exxxtreme! We’ll get LeBron James to star in it, and he’ll do crazy dunks from half court and shit! Wouldn’t that be badass?” No. No it wouldn’t.
This basically looks like WWE, but more rap-metally.
[via Yardbarker]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Huebel-gyllenhaal-carell-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/bourneleagcyteaserposter-150x150.jpg)
Erotic and sexy promoter? Donkey Punch King?
It’s like No Holds Barred meets Corey Hart.
St. Pierre’s love interest will be played by a cat that had white paint spilled on its back.
Shouldn’t the title be ‘Never Submit’?
No weight class. No judges. No screening for critics.
…quickly realizes that there is no way out, other than death.
I dunno, instead of death, maybe you could just get into a high speed chase, run over a bunch of shit, and get placed in “protective custody.” That might work too.
I just want to make sure there will be enough bodies hitting the floor in this one.
Is that Couture in the opening of the video? Shouldn’t his face be more mangled?
The last time I fell for something advertised as erotic AND sexy, it took me three weeks to stop singing “It’s a small world, after all.”
Wow, gay porn has gone mainstream.
This movie will be a favorite of Pauly “The Bad Toucher” Dangerously.
I hate to point out the obvious, but Never Surrender? Isn’t that a little too close to Never Back Down? That’s like Karate Koala or Quantity of Consolation.
Never Surrender: coming soon to a bargain bin near you.
BJ Pen should be Sidney Crosby’s nickname.
Will Joe Son be performing a gun rape scene in the back of Rampage Jackson’s Rampagemobile? No? I’ll pass on this one.
>i?Why don’t we make a movie about basketball, but more exxxtreme!
I know, we’ll get the world’s biggest basketball star and team him up with a duck, two rabbits, a cat, a canary, and an angry spinning rodent-like thing and pit them against aliens. It’ll be a hit!
*takes another bong rip*
<———–fucks up HTML for comedic effect.
I was gonna say Donk, that just made it funnier and more THC believable
Will Shamrock be the old geezer that teaches the proper technique for a rear naked choke or will that role be given Dennis Rader?
You guys are nuts.
The Mighty Feklahr understands Rampage Jackson’s next role will be in Driving Over Ms. Daisy.
Needs more Nature Boy.
Isn’t it ironic that Eib invokes mental instability, and then He shows up!
erotically charged, controversial action-thriller
So there’s a split decision as to which one of these guys jerked off the least aggressively?
S’up fuckers? Guess who was forced to return to work just over a week since his wife delivered twins.
Welcome back, erswi.
New up.
erswi: unless you passed them thru your urethra personally, don’t expect any sympathy or slack as the father. When my twins were born I was getting work-related calls within hours of the delivery. Then about ten days post-partum, my wife had a serious uterine infection and was readmitted to the hospital. I had to use vacation time while I worked from home and took care of four kids. You can invoke the Family Leave Act but they’ll treat it like a short term disability and in all likelihood you won’t get paid. My advice is to suck it up and do the best you can; in a couple of weeks you’ll start to think of going to work as valuable “me time”.