JOHN WOO’S GINORMOUS WAR EPIC
11.20.08John Woo’s two-part Asian epic Red Cliff is making huge money in Asia, and part two is set to open January 15th in China.
The first part of “Red Cliff” was released in July, grossing $62.7 million in the same six key Asian territories. Part one was released in Japan this month and has taken $26 million to date from 2 million admissions. Japanese release of second part is set for mid-April. [Variety]
Courtesy of Twitch, here’s the trailer for part two. The subtitles aren’t in English, but you don’t really need subtitles to watch Asians fight each other. The project doesn’t have an American release date yet, but as Twitch points out, “ the Hong Kong DVD and BluRay releases are both fully English friendly and region free.” I believe you can search for it under the original Chinese title, Red Criff.
*cuts off pinkie in penance*
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Red Cliff = When Clavin is on the rag.
Sure the Hong Kong version is English friendly but you’re fucked if you go outside of it.
Cuz there’s friendly, then there’s “English friendly.”
{Eyes Charlie suspiciously. Wonders what happened to Affleck}
Wait, shouldn’t that have been Engrish…?
Can I just watch Face Off while pulling my eyes back (>’<) and get the jist of what’s happening?
Oh, herro dare! Yu won meent fo pirroh?
DVD OR BRULAY!!!
jist, gist.
What are you a fuckin’ dictionary? I spent 10 goddamn minutes trying different styles of gook eyes. Whadayawant from me?
Unfortunately the Hong Kong version is a bootleg.
Burnsy, you prick. Now I’m going to have to think about the proper pronunciation for Bluray before blurting it out.
Hey, no peking at trailers!
Red Cliff is Mount Rushmore with Marx, Lenin, Mao, and Castro on it
John Woo once attended a NASCAR race, but didn’t understand why everyone was yelling his name.
I thought about getting my news through Asian media outlets, but I feel their views are a bit slanted.
Will John have two Samurai jumping sidelong through a circularly lit spot fighting with their swords perpendicular to their bodies while doves fly away? God I hope so.
Anybody get the Clavin ref?
I was going to say the Red Cliff’s buddy was Yerrow Nolm, Crappy. Now that I see it typed out, I’m glad I didn’t hit “Submit Comm
I hope Jack Burton wins.
True story, this excerpt was from an email I just sent;
Light on, bathroom door open, horrible noises… wakes me up. Never woke up to ass explosion commotion over the past few days. (This Sunday Sunday SUNDAY! At the LA fairgrounds! It’s a moooooonster truck ASS EXPLOSION COMMOTION!!!{explosion sound} Featuring Ass Matter!{laser sound} Cornhole!{cow moo} And Browneye!{baby crying} With an ass up derby at 1pm! Portapotty racing at 3! And the main event at 5pm! BE THERE!! This Sunday Sunday SUNDAY!!!)
Three things;
1. Fuck you guys
2. I’m starting to think “here thoughts” in my straight life
3. I Filmdunk to much
Yeah! J’s old like me!
(p.s. that show went off the air 15…15 fucking, years ago)
“Can you count, suckers? I say, the future is ours… if you can count!”
Whatever happened to John Woo? Oh yeah, Hollywood.
Crappy – I have dreams about you guys.
I’m not sayin’ what kind.
{Gets excited, reads rest of Al’s comment, gets dejected}
You should start a blog like Fek! Air those dreams out before they make your brain septic.
CrapB, was that email sent to your shrink? *scurries off before Crapbasket can eye him suspiciously again
Part one was released in Japan this month and has taken $26 million to date from 2 million admissions.
In China, the $62.7 million was on 491,840,000 admissions.
J – Jist is when you nut so hard it shotguns all over the kleenex.
CB – No, this chick I’m wooing.
You should start a blog like Fek!
I considered it, but what Eibz did in my dream last night would melt your face.
Besides, what makes you think I know how to read/write?
Two part Asian epic describes every chinese meal I’ve ever eaten.
J – Jist is a cock sneeze
Al – That’s true, you are a canuck. But I bet you gotta hella nice red jacket and flat sombrero!
The questions beg to be asked then Crappy-
Diane, Rebecca, both or neither?
Coach or Woody?
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop poppin pills. {chews up another Aderall with a Ritalin chaser}
Ggggrrrrr….ADHD!!!
Face melting goodness? Now I must know. I too, reference you in real life and dream about you goofs.
Lilith.
I concur, CB
And, Coach was the best
THAT’S NOT ONE OF THE CHOICES!!!!
*gives Crappy $5 for a few pills, just to take the edge off*
Dian, Rebecca, Lilith and Carla in a big fuck tangle and the pool table in back.
Eibz, so true Coach >>> than Woody.
If I had to chose one, Rebecca. Those whinny needy type are so willing to exceed their boundaries to please and keep a relationship that you can get them to … er…
Robin Colcord!!
I liked Coach as well.
I need subtitles to watch Asians fight. KUNG POW!
Jew UP!
There must have been a real paucity of TV starlets at the time for she-bear Kirstie Alley to ever be considered top notch totty. Did like her voice though.
I need subtitles to watch Asians fuck. What with their small dicks and lack of grooming habits. Charlie’s in the bush, indeed.
Charlie – go look at vintage pictures of Kristie Allie and Delta Burke, you’ll be shocked. Not aroused, mind you, just shocked.
I thought the “Eddie Murphy thing,” where the same guy plays all the main parts is only done in comedies?
Don’t you mean Led Criff?