I’M STARTING TO LIKE THIS GUY
11.19.08
There’s no doubt Robert Pattinson is going to get a lot of crap for being in Twilight, plus, look at his ridiculous goddamn hair. Nonetheless, he summed up Twilight about as perfectly as anyone I’ve heard last week, and today he engaged in a favorite pastime of mine: making fun of crappy movies.
(Of Corky Romano)
“The first time I was in L.A. I was watching it on TV. The scene where he’s on coke…was literally the only thing that they advertised, it was like the only point of the whole movie! I love that character. I love how Chris Kattan just stripped his whole career in one movie. The only guy off Saturday Night Live who just messed it up! It’s like, what happened? The only guy. That’s why I think it’s so great.“I also love the behind-the-scenes stuff on the DVD where none of the crew are laughing; the director’s [hiding] and he’s telling Chris Kattan, “Just do something funny, just make Chris Penn laugh,” and none of the crew think it’s funny at all. And you can tell Chris Kattan is just freaking out. Also, he had that vein, which I have which pops out of his head. I can really relate to him.” [RottenTomatoes]
Reached for comment, Chris Kattan said, “Ha, that was funny! Hey, if you’re not doing anything, maybe we could hang out. I mean, I had some, uh, meetings and stuff, but I could totally reschedule. Really, it’s no trouble.”
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/haddaway-what-is-love-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/TE-Pledge-150x150.jpg)
He may get a lot of crap, but he’s also gonna get a lot of poontang. I mean dudes got 7 year old girls coming up and asking him to bite them. How soon till Hayden Pantytearer comes up and asks?
BULLSHIT! Chris Kattan’s in a Pepsi commercial.
You know what makes Chris Penn laugh? EKGs. The little pads tickle.
I think this douche, and Nic Cage’s forhead can be explained thusly;
ht tp://garfieldminusgarfield.net/
Hey Fek, tell ‘em to take out the space.
The Mighty Feklahr wants to punch this kid in the throat and make him barf up his Count Chocula!
Crap, it works if you leave off the ht tp tag, too.
I’d like to see him make Chris Penn laugh now.
Chris Kattan could’ve ended up being Will Ferrell. Or Vice-Versa. Coulda went either way. Hopefully, they both die so we can make a double biopic next year.
Do you think that shirt is buttoned at all? I hope not…Grrrr.
I always loved when Alec Baldwin referred to him as “that little gay fella.”
What is Corky Romano?
I don’t know the first thing about this Twilight shit, but I did overhear a plot spoiler from the fifth book and I can’t wait for all of these loser mothers to have to explain to their loser daughters why the vampire baby ripped open Kristen Stewart’s stomach and broke her spine.
Who’s the bigger dipshit, Chris Kattan for making the movie, or this metro for watching it, and the extra materials.
Unless he was drinking a tall cool Schadenfreude Beer. Yes, Schadenfreude Beer, making career burningly bad projects hilarious for over 20 months. Try one today!
I can’t wait for all of these loser mothers to have to explain to their loser daughters why the vampire baby ripped open Kristen Stewart’s stomach and broke her spine.
So the moral of the story, dear, is that you should never have sex at any time ever, but if you do and you get pregnant, for Chrissakes go get the thing aborted without telling your father and I.
CB, bad enough it didn’t make it across the pond.
I guess they’ll use a wooden coathanger.
He’s hot for a lesbian
Those lips are telling me “No” but those eyes are telling me “I’ll blow you”.
I can’t believe his grizzly bear let him out of the house looking like that.
From high school to college
To: Robert Pattinson’s character in Twilight, too lazy to wiki
From: Kristen Stewart’s character in Twilight
Subj: college life
hey babe, um just wanted 2 let u kno that i found another guy while here at college, so its kinda over, sorries :( u must be pretty pissed but c’mon, did u really believe in all that eternal love bullshit? lol it was just our high school hormones. besides, hes on the football team! how hot is that!!1! anyway, im sure youll find the right girl and with ur powers youll prolly become a superhero or somethn. ok, gotta go luv ya ;)
What’s up with the advertisements on here today? I just saw one for some kind of vocational school that apparently accepts cats as students because it had a picture of a cat in a nurses costume. I don’t know about you, but, school or no school, I ain’t letting no cat stick it’s finger up my ass.
His hair is styled with sperm.
I know this stuff……
The only roles Chris Kattan still gets are the ones Hank Azaria has too much self respect to take**.
** Hank Azaria has no self respect.
When asked his opinion on Matthew Perry’s movies, Pattinson replied, “Yeah, let’s not go there.”
New up, and I won’t spoil the surprise.
Chris Kattan is playing Buster Keaton in the Fatty Arbuckle pic that went in to development Hell when Chris Farley died and is finally being made. He was also Walter Melon in the Aqua Teen movie, which rocked, so this young master Pattison might want to watch what he says and see where his career is in 10 years. Three words, Bro: Casper Van Dien.