MTV reports that although a Universal Soldier 3 movie is going forward and Van Damme is signed on, Dolph Lundgren will not be involved.
“I don’t know if they want to make it a video release or theatrical,” [Van Damme] said.
Actually there are a lot of question marks, like is he really starring in the film or is this a glorified cameo?
“I’m just going to do 10 days.”
Hmm, so what about Dolph Lundgren? He’s back, right?!?
“I told them, guys bring in Dolph! They said there’s no more value [to cast him]. I said, ‘it will have value with me!’”
No value? Hello, he’s the only selling point. We can’t accept Van Damme as the old Van Damme now that we know his meta-fictional personality.
So we’ve got a cast and crew in place. Now how about a story? Asked about the plot, Van Damme said “It has to do with something in the past.” [MTV]
Indeed it does, Jean-Claude, indeed it does. (picture caption: “I will… motiwate you?”)
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Hey! In Soviet Russia, Lundgren punishes YOU!
Without Lundgren in it I won’t even spend the dollar to rent it from one of those DVD machines.
I only watched the first 30 seconds of the clip, but at what point does Chod start rubbing oil on Dolph?
When asked to elaborate on the plot, Van Damme confessed, ” It’s going to have a beginning, middle and end. Really exciting shit- I LOVE MY WIFE!”.
Vance, this site of yours is getting increasingly female-friendly. Kudos, sir.
“I don’t know if they want to make it a video release or theatrical”
Asked about the plot, Van Damme said “It has to do with something in the past.”
Good to see Van Damme is still very picky about what he signs on to do.
And yes, I watched all 5:45 of it.
Maybe it’s “Universal Soldier meets TimeCop”
Or “Universal Soldier meets TimeCop, then they have coffee with that Cajun guy from Hard Target.” I’d pay to see that one.
“bring in Dolph!” is Sea World, San Diego’s gayest musical hit, to date.
Oh, Sweet Gherkins. This is going to blow.
Dolph is ready to take your call.
” And da’ guys, they tell me, ‘Jean-Claude, Dolph is dead’. And I say to them, I go, ‘But I just talk to him last night on da’ kitchen phone’, and then they tell me, ‘No, Jean-Claude, Dolph is dead in the hearts of children everywhere’. And then I say to them, ‘Oh’. “
Dolph doesn’t think bluetooth headsets look dopey enough.
Obama’s new nickname is the Universal Soulja.
Dolph does a little air traffic controlling on the side.
Dolph is pushing tin and pushing 50.
P.S. if it’s theatrical they’ll make it a musical called Universal Soldier!
They could always put Kellen Winslow, Jr. in instead.
Do we really need 2 white raisins in this?
Van Damme: “I’m just going to do 10 days.”
P.A.: “But the shoot is only 3 days.”
Van Damme: “Haha, don’t worry, guy- awesome.”
P.A.: “The fuck!?”
Between this snub and the breakup with Flavor Flav, the 2000s have not been kind to Dolph Lundgren.
Dolph’s holding out for a call from Brandon Lee for a Showdown in Little Tokyo sequel.
I once sat next to Dolph Lundgren on a bus. I was like, “Holy shit! Dolph, what are you doing riding public transpo?”, to which he stated, “I’m Dolph Lundgren”. It’s at this point that I slapped myself in the forehead and exclaimed, “Pshhh, DUH!” and then we both shared a hardy laugh.
I bet Dolph Lundgren’s house is rigged with “Clap On” and he legitimately thinks it’s cool.
Dolph Lundgren thinks the trees in his front yard grow toilet paper.
Dolph Lundgren likes:
fantasy novels
ice cream
sunglasses with flip up shades
Dolph Lundgren hates:
slivers
bright sun reflections
eagles
They have to bring Dolph back! He’s like Hitler’s wet dream.
And he has a degree in biochemical engineering.