I’m posting this video from Atom in honor of election day. It pretty much sums up my experience at the polling place. The best part was when the precinct volunteer asked for my I.D. and I handed it to her, and she looked at it and then back at me and asked, “Last name?” Sensing the question in my eyes, she muttered something about, “Well you know they put so many names on these things nowadays…”
In other old people news, Clint Eastwood might play Mark Twain. Not sure about that casting. Mark Twain seems like the kind of old man who tells you a nice story between bites of chicken, whereas Eastwood seems like he wants to dig your guts out with a shovel.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/clint-eastwood-wants-to-direct-a-jersey-boys-movie-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/uproxx-video-old-man-reports-the-news-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/movie-supercut-clint-eastwoods-scowl-in-squint-eastwood-mashup-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/val-kilmers-ambition-as-preeminent-mark-twain-impersonator-150x150.jpg)
Is your full name Vince Leonardo Primo Bruno Giovani Piero Mancini or something?
Also, is anyone else experiencing extraordinarily long load times again? Maybe give your drones another kick.
Why did he stop that sexy thing from taking off her shirt?
My grandmother told my dad that if he voted for Obama she’d send him a watermelon wrapped up with a turban.
Sweet old lady.
I let a black couple go ahead of me in line today. I’m so fucking racist.
I think those two get prescriptions from us. They bitch about their Medicare D making them pay a few dollars for something that used to cost them over a hundred. Oh, that Medicare D is soooooo unfair. Bitch, I would jump over this counter and stab you in your ungrateful turkey neck if I weren’t worried about pulling a muscle because I don’t fucking have — and can’t fucking get — coverage for that. In summation, fuck the aged.
Al, by ‘drones’ you mean naked guy turning the crank, right?
I’m pretty sure “Fuck the Aged” was a song by Pulp.
Old people are good for two things: keeping CBS on the air and circulating nickels.
I just did a write in vote for Vince Mancini
Vote Zod 2008, and Vote Yes on Zod’s “Put All Elderly To Work Making Embroidered Pillows For Kneeling” Proposal. Yes On Zod! Yes On Prop 11!
Nope, I have only three names. Though she probably hard time differentiating between them and my street name and “California”.
*had a hard time.
Zod, I hear your compatriot is getting a lot more votes than you.
Sure he is, ever heard of a Non-voting felon?
Whackety Schmackety Doo!
ZOD IS IN FULL COMMAND OF THIS “DURSTING” THAT YOU HUMANS SPEAK SO HIGHLY OF.
Zod is also in full control of the “Caps Lock” as you say in your primitive Houstonian tongue.
I tried to give directions to an old lady yesterday, and I swear, it was like trying to order a salad tossing from a Thai lady-boy who doesn’t speak a squeek of English.
Clint Eastwood’s Mark Twain won’t allow any kind of funny business on that raft with Jim.
Eastwood’s Mark Twain wants that fucking fence done and done right.
Clint Eastwood’s Mark Twain refers to golf as “a good club-beating spoiled”.
“There are only two sure things in this world – Death and Taxes – guess which one I’ve got in mind for you, punk…”
Zog declare Zog winner! Hooray! Zog sorry, Zod. Zod put good fight, but Zog better.
Clint Eastwood’s Mark Twain told Teddy Roosevelt “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.”
Zod is sure of one thing in this world. Death. Death and sometimes Death Taxes.
Zod will charge you for your insolence.
Clint Eastwood’s Mark Twain will be 12 feet tall.
*Goes and sits in corner*
…Zod will also penalize your children for your insolence.
Vote Zod/Ursa ’08! “We got a good-looking bitch, too!”
I was going to vote for Zog, but his slip-up in the last post left me disillusioned.
Oh, Robopanda, seeing as this is now stuck in my head it’s only fair i share
[www.youtube.com]
Help the aged. Help the mutherfuckin’ aged…
Zod not hear news, Zog winner. Zod go home now. Bye bye.
Jacktion – Zog understand disappointment. Zog very sorry. Jacktion vote for Zog now?
I’m afraid it’s too late, Zog.
I voted for Busey.
Not that vote matter, Zog already win. Zog accept honor!
Spike Lee won’t be happy about Clint Eastwood’s Mark Twain writing a scene about whitewashing a fence.
Jack!, don’t be too hard on Stoney. It’s really the best we can expect from an architect. Also – I’ll show up on time if the fucking DRAWINGS ARE DONE.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Spike Lee is pissed that Clint Eastwood’s Mark Twain didn’t make Jim the fucking main character.
I hope Clint Eastwoods Mark Twain has a pet orangutan.
Thats the wrong Busey, Jacktion!
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD, ape-man. Zod has beautifully manicured feet. ADMIRE THEM!
I wanna see Clint Eastwoods Mark Twain beat the shit outta Woody Harrelsons Mark twain.
What’s the matter, Donk?
Make the bad man stop, Jack!
*cowers*
Fucking Uproxxx… It takes my comment 2 minutes to post, and Donk slips his hand under her skirt first.
Zog very happy Zog win important election. Zog feel bad Zod – Zod think Zod still valid. Poor Zod. Maybe next time.
Zog thank everyone support.
It’s okay, Donk.
Nobody’s gonna hurt you now.
Clint Eastwood’s Mark Twain would always open his lectures with “My name’s Mark Twain and I’ve drunk more beer and banged more quiff and pissed more blood and stomped more ass that all of you numbnuts put together.” This went down a storm in Europe.
Unless you happen to be a ghost, and I have a power pellet handy.
Then you’re royally fucked, Donk.
*breathing into paper bag*
Thanks, want some jenkem?
Clint Eastwood’s Mark Twain has a Mexican guy following him around picking up his cigar butts many hours after he disposes of them.
True story: There is a woman on trial in Iowa (I believe) that is being charged with killing her 2 year old and trying to kill her 7 year old. Her last name? Keyho. (Well, I am not sure how it is spelled, but it is how they pronounced it on the radio.)
Everything ok with the missus, Donk?
Lemme check the basement, Fek.
Yeah, she’s fine!
I think Clint Eastwood needs to pay a visit to Philly:
ht tp://w ww.youtube.com/watch?v=94b78rnWMP4&feature=bz303
Fek – the ‘ex’ I often tell “exaggerated” stories about – similar last name (phonetically)…
Stone – good thing men don’t take women’s last names, or you might have wound up being called “Kinky Ho”.
Unless that’s what they already call you, in which case, nevermind.
Kinky Ho is my middle name.
Donkey Kinky Ho Hodey.
My parents were assholes.
Well, at least you cant be a serial killer. They only have 3 names.
Pac man is way scarier than a Busey
Holy shit, Fek, them is some crazy bitches in Iowa!!
Is it nap time?
Eib-tell Him about it! Do you have any idea how hard it is to abduct a 400 lb redhead woman from McDonalds when she is trying to beat her half-breed kids???
Whatsa matter, Fek? They don’t sell McRibs at McDonalds in Iowa?
She was eating them all, I think.
So… is Vance stuck in line trying to vote in Harlem?
Speaking of old people, this guy fucking rocks (work safe):
news.yahoo.com/nphotos/college-basketball-junior-varsity-team-Mink-free-throw/photo//081104/483/1d60d54e327041cdbb4bef3708c4c930//s:/ap/20081104/ap_on_fe_st/bkc_senior_citizen
http://www.uproxxcanjugglemynutz.xxx
I don’t get this fucking server sometimes…
Zod must admit that he enjoys the photo of Veronica Mars in a Slave Leia costume that adorns the bottom of this “blog.” Zod wonders: Does Veronica Mars already have a Kryptonian Overlord in her life? Does she respond well to direct commands? SHE BETTER.
I dunno, Zod, but after seeing you in that drag movie, I find you less scary.
*Hands Zod a piss boot*
“the movie blog that f’s on the first date”? You told me that was a purity ring! Lying slut, FilmDrunk
<<<if beek and I have many posts togther, it will look like animation. Everyone should go Domo
Wait, I thought that “Zod is God”
What about the separation of church and state?
Maybe if Zod has a cousin named Zesident, I’d vote for him.
After all, you can’t argue with “Zesident is President!”
Domo! Domo.
Domo! Domo.
His mustache is like a harelip toupée.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
Yeah, I was waiting for that inevitable comment.
Hey, the tagline for this post works on two levels now.
So, Maverick, I guess your daughter’s wedding is off? Or are they going to sign on to a newlyweds reality show instead?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
:::channels Nelson from The Simpsons:::
Haha!
Oh and Zod, give a kiss to Priscilla for me. Being as though she is Queen of the Desert.
Hey, Maverick, it looks like you just got donkey punched.
whackety shmackety doooo
frrt
Don’t expect a new post today – Vance was probably out partying it up on the streets of Harlem all night.
Or cowering in the corner of his bathtub, waiting for some stray gunfire to rip through his walls.
I was actually running through the streets yelling “Kill whitey!”
No, but really.
What the FUCK was Michelle Obama wearing last night? Seriously?
Blech
oh and new up