11.28.08 GEE, I WONDER HOW THIS WILL TURN OUT

F. Donkey Punch.

G. BTK van speeds away from shallow grave near wooded country lane. Deep in space loud, rumbling belly laugh is heard. BTK van re-cloaks.

If this were a Brett Ratner film, I’d vote for option A, then E.

Tell you what, I think Made of Honor and Mad Money have some company in the Best Picture category now.

So this is the movie that finishes the sentence. “He’s just not that into you because you’re fat”

H. She goes shoe shopping to fill the void in her soul left by a man that cheated on her with her loose, ex-best friend that liked anal?

“I like a woman on top…”

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA! I can’t wait to tell my pilates instructor that one.

If I had the power to make a deal with all the ladies out there, I’d offer to have Hollywood stop making the moral of chick flicks “have realistic expecations” and all I would ask for in return is more boobies.

I. Heigl untucks and yells “THIS IS SPARTA!!”

I wish this movie was more about her date with Kevin Connolly. And hopefully he would just talk about his real life experiences on the set of Entourage because that would be…

*blows his brains out*

Thanks for spoiling the end of Kane dickface.

Mero, you didn’t know that Kane was allergic to water? C’mon dude, you’ve had 67 years.

Remember when this movie was called Someone Like You and What Women Want? How about some originality? Like, instead of Gerard Butler exposing his softer side, he gets her drunk, fingers her butthole and then never calls her again.

Burnsy, I think that would be called The Smelly Truth

J. Heigl goes clubbing with her girl friends and goes home with one of the guys from Guido Beach.

I. Her skin lies crumpled up on the floor next to Erswi’s bed. Chodin slams down the phone and screams, “COWABUNGA!”

Instead of exposing his softer side, Gerard Butler knocks up her sister and then beats the piss out of her dad.

K. Once she finds Mr. Right, Heigl decides to move in with him, but when he wakes to find her getting out of the shower, he sees her without made up hair or make up and discovers The Ugly Truth. That some women are butt fucking ugly when out of costume.

L. She finds out it was Fredo who set her up.

[ Fek, yours should be K.]

Banner Pic: “Ok, Mr. Spock, I have my hand up there, now what do I do to start the meld?”

M. It was that pimp Barzini all along.

Straight up, if that fucking bitch put that hand in my face, the last thing she would fucking see in the short fucking remainder of her life is the Bic lighter being held up to my bungholio.

fek,

More like the old “lit candle in the vag as she hangs up side down from the ceiling of an abandoned warehouse”.

— I’m Jersey Old School.

How the fuck did He mess up the sequence so fucking bad?

Oh, He knows! HE IS AT FUCKING WORK ON THE FRIDAY AFTER THANKSGIVING!

Not that it bothers Him.

TW, have you been watching the nonstop Godfather II airings on AMC, too?

yup.