11.11.08 CONFIRMED: JADEN SMITH IN ‘KARATE BLACK KID’
The rumor that Will Smith’s 10-year-old son Jaden would star in a remake/sequel of The Karate Kid has been around for a while now and always seemed too ridiculous to be true. But this is Hollywood, so just think of the stupidest thing you can imagine multiplied by 100 and of course someone will produce it.
The script is being written by Chris Murphy, and the film will shoot next year in Beijing and other cities. While the new film will be set in that exotic locale, it will borrow elements of the original plot, wherein a bullied youth learns to stand up for himself with the help of an eccentric mentor. China Film Group Corp. will co-produce in China. [Lending credence to earlier, still unconfirmed rumors that it would be renamed Kung Fu Kid and that they wanted Stephen Chow to direct -Ed.]
The younger Smith, who next stars in “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” is a martial arts practitioner. [Variety]
No, he’s not. He’s a little kid. A little kid whose parents make him act. And between fame as a child actor and parents that are borderline scientologists, you know he’s going to end up just like that Power Ranger who drowned people and cut his dick off. Or worse, Danny Masterson.
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There are 33 comments about:
CONFIRMED: JADEN SMITH IN ‘KARATE BLACK KID’
Wouldn’t it have made more sense to name there son after Will, and not Jada? Or are they planning on naming a daughter Wilhelmina?
there= their. aw, fucksticks
I think they should just cut to the inevitable friggin’ chase and hire Jeffrey Jones for the Mr. Miagi role.
This kid makes Lil Romeo look like Farrakhan.
Instead of a sensei, Kung Fu Kid learns his lessons from Scientology.
Instead of “wax on, wax off”, he’s going to be told to “smack a bitch, smack anudda bitch”
Playing the Kung Fu Kid’s love interest? Elizabeth Shue.
This movie is what happens when Chris Tucker and Ralph Macchio have buttsex near a nuclear power plant
Black kids think “martial arts practitioner” means your parents haven’t gotten divorced yet
A disctinct plot different in Kung Fu Kid is that when Smith’s leg is injured during the final showdown, he stops the fight to call his agent and make sure his contract is mutha fuckin gar-aun-teed!
*sighs, prays for soul*
SWEEP TEH N1G!
DJ Jazzy Jeff’s son really hates his dad right now.
Speaking of DJ Jazzy Jeff, he recently had a show here in a Bar and Grill here in Sudbury, Ontario (which is in fact the prolapsed asshole of Canada.
The guy really should have stuck by the Fresh Prince
DJ Jazzy Jeff is making a cameo as a filthy vagrant who gets arrested trying to sneak onto the set.
DJ Jazzy Jeff’s son’s dad is probably Will Smith.
S
Whoops I meant…Some where Billy Zabka is praying his phone will ring.
Instead of “Wax on, wax off,” Jaden will say, “Wax on, wax oth.”
I’d watch this movie just to see William Zabka and his friends, dressed as skeletons, kick the crap out of little Will. I’d leave after that scene.
Jaden is failing in The Pursuit of Blackyness.
This is the story, all about how
My life reached Zen, it’s all calm now
This will only take a lifetime, just sit right there
and let me tell how i became the Ninja of Bel-air
In the Hollywood Hills, born and raised
Learning about Scientology’s how I spent my days
Paying cash, being crazy, counting thetans
and Waiting for Xenu behind of the scool
When a couple of slants, they were up to know good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in 1 little fight, and my mom got scared
She said I’m sending you to learn karate
at the dojo in Belair
My prediction is that all the kids from Stone Dojo are going to be dressed as ghosts instead of skeletons. yeah, that’s right, pointy-headed ghosts.
Does this mean that we get to hear a Will Smiff version of Bananarama’s Cruel Summer!?!
Instances of audience members yelling “Watch yo leg!” will be up roughly 1,000% over the original movie.
*shakes fist in the air*
Damn you Hollywood, for remaking every fucking thing!!!
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