Look at that coach in the background – he’s proof that wrestling makes your neck strong.
After my story on the kid from A Bronx Tale this morning, many of you wondered what Chazz Palminteri is up to these days. The answer is: starring in Yonkers Joe, about an aging gambler/con man who needs one more big score to raise money for his mentally challenged son. Watch the trailer after the jump. Critics are already calling it “the most retarded heist movie since Ocean’s Twelve.”
Anyway, looks pretty good. But I think I’d still rather see this kid wrestle Mickey Rourke.
Also available in HD at Apple.
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One step closer to Retard MMA…
Fact: That kid in the banner pic could rip your fucking arms off, beat you to death with them, then use them to draw pictures in chalk on the sidewalk, and not think twice about it.
Fact: Big John McCarthy would be scared to referee a Retard MMA match.
Not Mario Yamasaki though, he knows Karate.
Why wouldn’t they just take the kid to the black jack table and have him count cards or whatever
Alternate title: The Imbecilic Hulk
Alternate Title: Trisomy 21
Now THIS is the kid who should be playing “Ace Ventura Jr.”
OR
Jim Carrey should be playing this role.
Take your pick, it’s all good.
*Shakes up dice*
C’monnnn, COMEDY!
*rolls dice, snaps fingers, watches trailer*
Fuck.
If this kid doesn’t wrestle a kangaroo, I’m not interested.
Right Fek? Write? Wright?
Banner Pic: The last day corky wrestled in a leotard colored anything other than brown.
*unitard
<———–regular tard.
Some people are taking this “Help fight Autism” thing a little too seriously.
He’s gonna roll snake eyes for cauliflower ears.
Banner Pic: INVIZIBUL WEIGHLIFTING!
When his coach was asked what the hardest part about coaching Joe was he said, “Trying not to pass out when he gives me a hug every time I tell him he’s doing good. That kid hugs like a fucking Silverback.”
I can’t wait for the sequel:
“Yonkers Joe meets Flatbush Artie: Double or Nuttin”
Joe’s opponents hate wrestling him because the slobber makes it all but impossible to get a good hold applied.
Everything is coming up Italian today.
Retards can never find people to make out with them because, when it comes to tongue-wrestling, there simply isn’t anybody else in their weight class.
Wasn’t this the same premise for “The Ringer”?
All the opposing wrestling coaches in the district were sent a memo telling them to not allow their athletes to wear red singlets. Joe had an episode as a toddler with a Tickle Me Elmo in which Elmo wouldn’t stop laughing at Joe.
“Joe’s opponents hate wrestling him because the slobber makes it all but impossible to get a good hold applied.”
That’s what my jello-wrestling opponents say.
Dor sho gha! Where in Kahless’ Krabs Kream are the kangaroos, J???
Christ on a cracker! I go browbeat some fundies for a few minutes, and Lince puts up retard wrestling??? Life is SO not fair. :(
alternative title: Trig
Banner pic: INVIZIBUL FLOSSING
*winks at Donk*
I’ve already voiced my displeasure about this oversight, Fek. If only…
The coach has that retard practice on grizzly bears. Not because the tard is so strong he can kill bears, but they are trying to kill the little leech on society.
This guy is such an enabler. Doesn’t he know his son is just going to blow all that cash on American Idol DVDs and trips to the zoo?
Even though it gets blurry, you can tell that guy in the background is full retard.
Retards are more fun that a barrel of vikings!
So having regular dogs fight is illegal, but having tard kids fight to the death isn’t?
Banner Pic: I CAN HAZ EXTRA CHROMOSOME?
*check to see if lolretards.com is taken*
Alternate Title: Never Go Full Nelson
One time, Joe’s coach forgot his participation ribbon in his office. Once.
I CHUZ U TARDACHU!
Joe’s parents were leery about letting him wrestle without a helmet, but then thought, “What the fuck? It’s not gonna hurt anything”.
Once again, Hollywood misses the boat. They could have amped up the star power by casting shaved-head Britney Spears as the kid’s loyal but enraged girlfriend. But nooo, now’s she all back to “normal” and we can only dream of what could have been.
Teaching a retard how to fight is like giving a bear a fishing pole. It already comes naturally to them. Instead, I suggest teaching them both to dress like clowns and juggle while riding a unicycle.
Banner pic: Pictured here, Corky reenacts the cyclops death scene from Krull.
New Generation Up
*claps gleefully that Crappy got here in time for retard post*
fuck
Extremely proud of his recent victory, his most recent opponent demonstrated his winning “jingling keys” move for the school newspaper.
Career suicide – nobody goes full retard. (dead silence. taps microphone). “Is thing on?”
Wow, imaginary critics made derogatory statements about this film. I have surfed the net after reading this and I can’t seem to find any critic saying this.
Anyhow I saw the movie at the Tribeca film festival and the god’s honest truth is it was tremendous. The acting was incredible. It had to be Chazz Palminteri’s best work, Christine Lathi is a dream come true. Tom Guiry performance was astonishing. Michael Lerner a season veteran show’s you why he’s been in the industry for such a long time. Also in the film is Frank John Hughes who I remember seeing in the movie Mr. Vincent years back at the Sundance Film Festival. The Directing and writing was second to none. I myself recommended it highly. It’s a must see. When it opens go see it.