BLAAAAAAINS
11.04.08
USA Today and BloodyDisgusting broke these new stills from George Romero’s latest zombie flick, and surprise, they’re boring and lame. Another shocker: Romero’s still claiming zombies are the perfect topical allegory.
“It’s about tribalism,” says Romero about [his new film, which] unfolds on a small island a couple of weeks after the original outbreak in 1968′s Night of the Living Dead. “There are two factions. It’s the idea that even when faced with a crisis, tribal concerns about power control people’s motives.”
“It’s this whole idea of tribalism, that we can’t pull it together,” he says. “News reports about the presidential race still bring up religious topics or racism. That’s pretty much the central theme.” [USA Today]
Oh f-ck off. Every couple of years he comes out with a new zombie movie and every time he tries to convince us that zombies are the perfect metaphor for whatever’s in the news at the time. Dude, you’ve been making the same movie since 1968. You know what a new political climate requires? A new metaphor. You’ve ascribed so many different meanings to zombies they’ve become only what they are on the surface: people shuffling around saying “Braaaains.” Forty years of that. Can you fathom how insanely goddamned boring that is?
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Just wait until Super-AIDS hits.. there’s no way he could come up with a metaphor for an incredibly deadly sickness that spreads via the exchange of bodily fluids.
I thought tribal tattoos went out of style a few years ago?
When I need a perfect topical allegory, I reach for Ben-Gay.
Will Super-Aids effect Superman?
Zod hopes so.
Vote Zod!
Banner Pic: #4 comes with sweet and sour brains!!! (and potsticker!)
Asian zombies are a metaphor for the proven fact that once you go wong, you can never be white.
It looks as if Zombies are into the Grundge look. That’s soooo early 90′s.
You know what a new political climate requires? A new metaphor.
I suggest Rock-em, Sock-em Robots. They may be different colors, but they’re ultimately the same person.
George Romero has the Alzheimers. He doesn’t remember making any movies prior to the one he’s currently pimping.
How about a movie about a paraneoplastic neurologic disorder? Or would that shit be too real? No, better stick with something that doesn’t fucking exist and will never happen to us and say it’s an allegory. Oooo, spooky. You want a horror movie that will scare the fuck out of people, show a married couple where the husband is losing everything to PCD while the wife is stuck on insurance IVR systems all day trying to get the shit paid for. Do a movie about alzheimer’s, or locked-in syndrome, or harlequin babies. All these “allegory” horror movies are just a cowardly writer’s excuse to write about something that will never fucking happen, instead of tackling the complexity of the horrifying shit that really could happen.
Given the Asian predisposition to eating goofy shit, do Dink Zombies eat the penis first? Perhaps the taint is believed to increase Zombie stamina?
Thanks for taking the steam right out of this post Robo. I feel so fucking depressed, I’m gonna go kick a cat now.
BTK, I don’t know what PCD is, but locked in syndrome would be a fucking horrible thing to have.
I think it depends on who (or what) you’re locked in WITH, JHC. Daniel Craig? Awesome. Zombies? Not so much.
Which one of you fuckers broke Chatzy?
PCD is a paraneoplastic neurologic disorder that some people who have cancer develop, in which your body creates an antibody that can cure the cancer (Hooray!) but the antibody chews through the blood brain barrier and fucks with your cerebellum over the course of a few months. So, yeah, the cancer may go away, but the antibody your own body created is going to kill you in a much more horrifying way now.
And scientists are going to want to study every detail of your imminent death (but not actually cure you) to try to find the cure for cancer (that may have the side affect of eating your brain, but whatever).
Does anyone else feel like they just accidentally learned something?
I had diarrhea last month.
Fuck. That’s lose/lose all the way around. If there’s someone in your life that has that Robo, I sincerely send my sympathies. That’s fucking horrible.
Zod gave Mancini diarrhea!
VOTE ZOD!
Yes! Vote Zog!
Isn’t there already a zombie movie coming out soon with a farting dog?
Yay, I vote Zog. Where do i mark the coyote?
Nobody in my life has PCD, thank Cthulhu, but my dad is going to have to have his sternum and maybe part of his ribs sawed out later this month and have titanium plates put in because there’s an infection inside the sternum.
Yeah, you can get infections inside a bone, and if you don’t remove the dead bone, it spreads until it kills you. Scarier than zombies, is it not?
Zog promise tax you less, other people more.
Zog hope Robo Panda Sr. enjoy new robo sternum in good health.
Zog promise free health care unless you think should not be free, then Zog promise more expensive health care. That Zog platform.
Zog promise kick out illegal immigrants, except illegal immigrants you like. Them stay.
Dude! Your Dad is gonna be like Wolverine, only with less jazz hands! That’s sweet!
Cereally, I hope it goes well and fixes him up.
Now, back to the crass and uncouthyness.
Fuck Geroge Remoor.
New up, old folks!
That dead chick is way hotter than the ones i normally bang.
Banner Pic: The new Korean dance sensation and recording artist BRAIN!!!
(thank you I”m here all week)