Meanwhile, in Paraguay, “Humping Pig” was still playing to sell-out crowds.

Despite near universal bad reviews, Max Payne won the top spot (full top ten after the jump) with an $18 million gross, just below studio predictions.  To whoever keeps seeing these: …Stop.  Video game adaptations are never good.  It won’t be different this time, I promise. Your child-like optimism is just encouraging them. Okay, rant over, you can go back to watching wrestling now.  Via Nikki Finke:

“It’s a good start,” one analyst told me [of Max Payne]. “But this is a film that will drop like a lead balloon. Is Fox going to be happy with a $38 mil domestic box office on this film?” [Estimated budget: $35 million]

Elsewhere, W grabbed the number four spot behind The Secret Life of Bees, with both performing about as well as expected.  Sex Drive turned out to be the big disappointment:

The sex comedy opened the weekend to just $3.5M from 2,421 dates for 9th place. ”It’s a huge disaster,” one film financing source told me. “They spent close to $25 mil and the film won’t break $7.5 million box office when all is said and done. And given its subject matter, I’m sure they did not sell this well overseas. So this has to be a major, major writedown for Summit.”

Anyway, so that’s the news.  Would it be more interesting if I wore this novelty top hat?  How bout if I drink my coffee from a twisty straw?  What if I cut off my own thumb?  Now it’s on again.  Now it’s off.  Now it’s on.  How do I do that!

1. “Max Payne,” $18 million.
2. “Beverly Hills Chihuahua,” $11.2 million.
3. “The Secret Life of Bees,” $11.1 million.
4. “W.,” $10.6 million.
5. “Eagle Eye,” $7.3 million.
6. “Body of Lies,” $6.9 million.
7. “Quarantine,” $6.3 million.
8. “Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist,” $3.9 million.
9. “Sex Drive,” $3.6 million.
10. “Nights in Rodanthe,” $2.7 million. [CNN]