VOTE OR DIE! RAAWWRRR!
10.02.08
If only.
As part of the “Declare Yourself” voter drive campaign, every celebrity ever is telling us to vote, and they’re doing it in creative ways. Jessica Alba and Cristina Aguilera got all bondaged out for photographer David LaChappelle, while people like Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill and Sarah Silverman did a video (after the jump) full of naughty words that spends the first few minutes telling you not to vote. But then Sarah Silverman says you can literally register while pooping, so I guess they actually do want you to vote. But if you were planning on not voting and then changed your mind because Usher showed up and said it was important, please, don’t vote. In fact, kill yourself. And should you choose to ignore my advice, please be aware that one of the candidates is not “MC Cain”.
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It’s creepy when you see a photograph that duplicates exactly what you dreamed about last night.
The Mighty Feklahr votes for ice cream sammitches every Friday!
And by that I mean a crying Andre3000 with my bowtie stuffed in his mouth.
What is it about women gagged and crying that is SO qovlpathing sexy???
Only you can prevent forest fires. – Steven Seagal
I’ve got nothing on this today. I must be sick or something.
I think it’s that Vince hasn’t changed the Homophobic Gymnasts yet.
I like the way screams sound through a closed mouth.
Thanks!
There’s another one of Alba tied up with black electrical tape.
http://www.declareyourself.com/multimedia/gallery_197.html
Finally, a role for Jessica Alba I can support.
Whatevs. I’m voting for that dude from Monty Python. I think four years of Holy Grail quotes would make America great again.
I registered to vote when P Diddy was going around telling people if they didn’t he would break into their homes and kill them.
“Only you can silence yourself”? What in Kahless’ Pube Forest do they call it when He goes to the basement and caves in a few baby skulls with His hammer, Grond???
Is it wrong that I’m now imagining scenarios where I wheel Jessica Alba around town on a hand truck?
Stoney-toughened up your nipples, didn’t it?
I’m just tired of these out-of-touch hollywood elites trying to exploit their celebrity status to tell me how to think. I mean, the gall of them to suggest that a mask like that would be somehow effective without an additional strap over the top of the head…
Is He the only one reminded of Chef Boyardee’s Mankind campaign?
MMMM…BEEFY!!!
Dave Chappelle > Dave LaChappelle
Fek, not really. I’m specifically thinking of fun places to wheel here on – like courthouse steps.
Silly Andre. You never go bowtie 2 mouth.
OK, I am going to go get some coffee, and when I get back, if you all are real good, I will blog about the “Grond Song”.
Silly Chino, dicks are for kids!
That Andre3000 is a sharp dresser.
And why is that stuff dripping down from her eye clear?
I promise you Drunkards, if you elect me President, I will put a Beam & Cola machine in the FilmDrunk cafeteria.
It was totally worth watching the first 4:35 of that to see Dustin Hoffman act like a creepy pedophile for the last ten seconds.
Burnsy, you sir are the Change I Can Believe In®.
Oh, man! I need to get some of this for Halloween SO BAD!
news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081001/ap_on_bi_ge/candy_melamine
So anyone else stoked to watch
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?the VP debate tonight?The day I pretend to give a fuck about what people that pretend to be someone else for a living is the day I give up pretending to fuck goats. Wait…I seem to have lost my train of thought there. Oh yeah. As soon as one of these assclowns come up with an original thought about politics and the troubles normal Americans are having, without it being put on cue cards, I still won’t give a fuck.
I’ll take civics advice from Hollywood types just as soon as they realize that explosions in space don’t make any sound and that changing the rotation of the earth wouldn’t reverse time. Oh, and fender-benders don’t make motorized vehicles explode into massive fireballs. Before you lecture me on political science, do me a favor and learn basic fucking science.
as my company is a manufacturer of elevator parts, I would like to thank Hollywood for convincing liability insurance companies that elevators can plummet to the basement at any moment, killing all passengers.
“Only you can silence yourself”
Oh yeah? My ball-gag, cock, plastic bag, shovel, gun, or pillow beg to differ, you sanctimonious fucksticks.
“Sanctimonious fucksticks” are what I’ll be giving out this year to trick-or-treaters on Halloween…along with a 35-minute powerpoint presentation on alternative fuels and ethnic diversity.
Mmmmm…fucksticks. Great, now I’m hungry.
So the main slogan for this is “Declare Yourself”? Not exactly targeting the Hispanic demo, are they.
As an employee of a company which produces products containing aerosol propellant, I would like to thank all residents of California for convincing the country that cans of deodorant are more detrimental to the environment than automobiles. I hope your Prius reeks of BO.
You know, after reading that, I know for a fact that my cock can’t silence me. Not because I’ve tried to suck my own dick or anything.
Nevermind.
Rot (et al) – my biggest movie technical pet peeve is the use of 2 way radios. According to every movie I’ve ever seen, all you need is a walkie-talkie or cb radio to communicate with ANYONE OTHER RADIO IN THE VICINITY – including police, drive through window headsets, airplanes – whatever.
Best example, though old, is the use of hand held radios in Die Hard. With one little walkie talkie, you can either privately discuss murderous operation of robbing a company of millions of dollars, or speak directly to the police. I guess they’d hope the police just wouldn’t pay attention to all the maniacal, non-descript European accent laden radio traffic.
So am I supposed to vote or what?
“Declare Yourself” is what Wiggers from Connecticut say when they point their trust fund paperwork sideways at guys from rival country clubs.
Is that a bow tie or a curb protection device?
New Up!
An actor is a terrible thing to waste.
Now Christina Applegate has matching stitches! Yeaeah!
They’re gonna get really bored waiting for me now that I pushed the pause button.