THIS IS CHEATING
10.13.08
Marley and Me stars Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston and it looks like the kind of half-assed Hollywood rom com garbage that makes me pray for nuke-u-lar apocalypse. Then they had to go and release this teaser, which wisely decided that adorable puppy + Chariots of Fire > Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston.
And then, yesterday in New York I saw the advertisement you see at left (click to enlarge). God damn it. This is not fair. I know this movie is going to suck monstrous sweaty yak nuts, but their marketing keeps striking at my weak spot. Normally an utterly nonsensical play-on-words tagline like that would be more than enough to awaken my homicidal rage. But look at that f-cking face. I would murder the president if the puppy told me to.
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/monsieur_lazhar__ver2_C-Tates-150x150.jpg)
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Awwwwwwwwwww, wook at de pupppppy!!!!\
*shakes head* sorry, what were we talking about?
I’m sure this movie will fetch millions at the box office, but I’m not going to roll over just because of this marketing effort. I just had to speak my mind.
Whatever. That puppy is clearly going to talk Wilson into a murder/suicide pact.
Geney Poo, sit! Stay!
It’s an obvious choice putting the puppy on the advertising.
You got a choice between Wilsons massive nose and Anistons massive chin or a puppy with a bow around it’s neck…That’s what you call a no brainer.
In fact if you had but Aniston and Wilson on the posters it would look like they were in those fun fair mirrors that distort your image.
HEEL THE LOVE! GET IT!?!?!
Isn’t our son swell? Isn’t life swell? Gee…
Nice bow job.
What does Birthday Dog think about this poster?
What? Did they get that puppy for their pet crocodile?
Pupocalypse!
Damn it, i just killed a Schnauzer to get the taste of Bosintang from my mind that was put there by those chihuahuas in that other post, and now this?
Exactly how I felt with the Look Who’s Talking poster. Except much hornier.
Not to say I wouldn’t fuck that puppy.
Those eyes. Just makes me want to test cosmetics in them.
in the UK they sell a brand of toilet paper with the same sort of puppy as they’re mascot…the point it that puppy makes me need to shit.
It’s amazing how natural Jennifer Aniton’s head looks on that dog body.
their* fucking retard.
C’mon Doc! That puppy is so much cuter than Jen.
Yeah, that puppy might be cute now, but in a few short months it will be a huge dog that knocks stuff over, pisses on the rug, and takes gargantuan shits! Dor sho gha!
and that rug really tied the room together, did it not?
I bet that cutie likes peanut butter…
I suddenly understand what the Son of Sam was saying.
New up, Van Dammit!
OK. I’ll watch it, just don’t kill the puppy.