10.31.08 THIS IS AN AWESOME COSTUME

I always like to see what sociopaths look like as infants.

I’m going as a Juggalo, which means all i have to do is shove a Faygo bottle up my ass.

I’m going as a child abductor. All I have to do is get my son to keep yelling “I don’t know you, you’re a stranger! This isn’t my father!”. Which is pretty much what he does anytime I act lame anyways.

I’ve got nothing special for a costume today, but I have this unused toga just lying around so I figure I’ll wear that. When in Rome, eh?

When the kid outgrows that costume, I want to cut the middle part out and put it in the bottom of a popcorn bucket.

I’m putting on a long yellow rain slicker and hanging a sign around my neck that says “Trust Me”.

Donk’s a closet Italian-Canadian. I knew it.

I’m going as a guy with a jetpack.

Change of Plans: I’m now going as the guy who takes a bunch of LSD and freaks out, has to ‘get away’ from here, whatever here refers to, and steals a toddlers bike, complete with training wheels.

If I were in a wheelchair, I’d dress as Fred Durst.

Keep rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ What?!

Toddlers don’t ride bikes, Nom. They can barely walk. That’s why they’re called “toddlers”.

If I were in a wheelchair, I’d dress as a giant hat and go as a roller derby.

I’m going dressed as a German car with flood lights; an Illuminaudi

If I were in a wheelchair, I’d paint legs on it and go as a productive member of society.

I bought some of those “Hulk” hands from the store, painted them flesh colored and smeared a thin layer of olive oil on my face. I’ll be carrying a laptop in one hand and a LOLCAT calendar in the other.

I’m going to be Vince.

And yet the SNL Sexual Predator sketch is nowhere to be found.

You wanna know what’s really scary? That prop is from Alien 4!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

I’ll be going as a sensibly dressed prostitute.

Is it weird that the banner pic is what I saw when I opened up my bucket of KFC yesterday?

I know they are good texas conservatives over at fox and all, but this is just assinine. http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b66574_Fox__Toons_Out__lt_i_gt_King_of_the_Hill_lt__i_gt_.html

I didn’t even know it was still on the air, nom.

When the cops come to my door and ask why I keep answering it half dressed and unintelligible, I’m just going to tell them I’m dressed as Jason Statham.

Two fucking family guy spinoffs? I know what you’re thinking, but no, you’re wrong. These shows are not ≥ socialized animation.

It’s nice to know you’re carrying the jetpack jokes into today, Jetpacktion!

Of course, it’s so obvious and topical! If no one notices that my son is 7, not 8, it’ll be perfect! We’re going as this.. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27399337/