10.31.08 THE STATH INTRODUCES NEW TRANSPORTER AD
Oi, allo. Oy’m fock’n Jason Stafam. But yous probly already knew dat, didn’t ya? Cunt. Anywoay, Oy’s heah ta introduce da new TV spot fa moy new movie, da Transpor-uh paht Free. As you praps already know, in dis film Oy droive round inna flash bloody sazz wagon, bloindin cunts wif how fock’n shoiny da bloody fing is.
Oi, but oy’ve also got more impor-un fings ta tell yous about, now don’ oy? Look heah: keep da fock’n pets spayed an’ neu-uhd, will ya? Oy mean for fock’s saike. Loike, da ovva daiy, oy wuz out inna yahd doin fock’n push-ups, roight? An’ long story shoht, Oy’s shaggin dis fit bird, when all ovva sudden Oy rolls ovva, an’ Oy squishiz inna big fock’n poile a bloody dog flop, innit. An Oy’m finking, “Oi. When did moy lawn turn into a fock’n poikey traila’, now don’ oy?”
So da moral of da story is dat dere’s too many fock’n bloody dogs muckin’ about, now don’ it? Oi, so get it sore-id out before oy have ta taike moy fock’n shir’ off an’ staht buggerin’ cunts, ya heah?
Oi, ‘course oy’s jokin, moy shir’s already off.
[via LatinoReview]
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/05/mickey-rourke-parrot-150x150.jpg)
There are 37 comments about:
THE STATH INTRODUCES NEW TRANSPORTER AD
Vince, I find your erotica writings both informative AND effective.
And I’m glad to see my dentist isn’t the only one that has a no shirt strapped down in the stirrups policy.
My Jason Statham Halloween costume looks frighteningly like my George Costanza without a shirt costume.
I shot my wad last night on the jetpack thread. I’ve got nothing left.
Anyone know how to get semen out from in between keys on a keyboard?
These Statham posts are really helping me prepare for my trip to the UK. I’ll be able to fit right. Everyone will think I am a native. Or Statham’s bastard kid. I never would have known “Oi” was so commonly used.
J - more semen.
J, I use Bust Off.
How come the English don’t speak English?
If I had a sazz wagon, I’d ford the river everytime.
Martha Stewart just did a segment on that J! Something to do with a rosary and egg whites.
So JHC, you have a Hallow Weenie?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ow
I wish when Statham did updates he used “fuckin muppet” more often… it just has a nice ring to it….
Happy Halloween and fuck you stupid fucks.
Jason Statham’s got the kind of abs I could make my girlfriend wash my clothes on.
<—– Made business call to Suffolk, UK this morning. My customer did not once call me a cunt. I think.
…and the kind of chest hair you wish your girlfriend had?
My 5 month old son will be dressed as a monkey today.
(braces for completely inappropriate jokes)
Oi SS, you tosser?!?! My avi is my 5 month old daughter in costume. You thieving wanker!
Linz, being the father of two daughters, and part of the “old fogey group” of filmdrunk, let me be the first to say, “Good luck keeping her off the pole”.
Stoney can he hang on to your back yet? You could just put some dark makeup under your eyes and draw in some arm tracks to complete the cosutme.
My fetus is getting a moustache and some googly eyes. Although just the word “fetus” is scary enough.
Linz, being the father of two daughters, and part of the “old fogey group” of filmdrunk, let me be the first to say, “Good luck keeping her off the pole”.
Like mother like daughter I guess! ;-)
*applauds like a retard at a Wiggles/laser show*
chell, I ♥ U. Your avatar is AWESOME!
My fetus is getting a moustache and some googly eyes.
So your fetus is going as Larry Miller sporting a stache?
Where did you get that? I have to have one. So fucking good.
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