Shouldn’ta pissed off the Asians, Clint. You know they roll deep.
After the jump I’ve got the new trailer for The Warlords (Tau Ming Chong), starring Jet Li (though something tells me that’s not his real name).
…A heroic tale of three blood brothers and their struggle in the midst of war and political upheaval. It is based on “The Assassination of Ma,” a Qing Dynasty (1644-1911) story about the killing of general Ma Xinyi.
Yeah, so it kinda looks like Braveheart with Kung Fu, which… sounds pretty bitchin’. Also, and this is neither here nor there, I really think all Chinese phrases should have an exclamation point at the end. Tau Ming Chong! Ma Xinyi! You break you buy! It’s just a language that lends itself really well to shouting.
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The baby is a girl! Kill it!
Yeah, that does sound Chinese.
“FLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!”
“I rove you, arways have.”
The Rord say he can get me thloo dis, but he pretty sure you frucked.
Is Jet Li the Asian Samuel L. Jackson?
Three blood brothers deal with the assassination of Ma? So, basically they cut Mark Wahlber’s part out of Four Brothers and added some kung fu for good measure.
I always ask my Chinese students about the Bung Dynasty.
Three more brothers and they’d get a free egg roll.
If you ask me, I think they got the casting all Wong.
The three blood brothers names are-
Him Hab Anemia
Row Grucose Rever
Heem O Feeria
The asian Sam Jackson doesn’t need chopsticks to eat. The rice jumps in his mouth out of fear.
How many dogs were eaten during the filming of this movie?
Hu Flung Pu!!!
Cry “havoc!” and let slip the dogs of war!
-Uh, sir… there’s a problem?
What? What’s the problem?
-No dogs of war, sir.
What the hell happened to my dogs of war?
-Remember last night’s buffet sir?
Damnit, zayLou!
I’d like to see a German man and a Chinese man having a civil conversation.
I’d like to, but if I saw them talking, I’d assume they hated each other.
Asian Sexman rikey when Asian Sam Jackson say “mothelfuckal”
We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you Amelican wow, penis so big, so big penis.
When can we expect Jet Li to start spouting off about how the Jews control the world?
Do Mongolians call retards “Caucasoid”?
*chodin enters FilmDrunk roller rink floor, slips and breaks clavicle*
Fuck these Wheelies.
*skates past chodin on his roller blades and pulls eyes back, ala chink style*
Ware da fuk yu bin?
Nuplin:
Rittle
Yerrow
Diffelent
Hey, I’m cool with a Chinese ‘Braveheart’ just so long as Jet Li gets pulled over in a few years and blames all the world’s problems on the Mongols.
I don’t know if it’s because I ate sesame chicken last night or not, but that movie looks really good.
YOU STUPID MONGORIANS! STOP KNOCKING DOWN MY SHITTY WARR!
The problem with seeing the Chinese Braveheart is that a half an hour later, you’re just going to want to go see it again.
NEW UP, MONGORIANS!
“You break you buy!” This made me laugh. Well done.