10.09.08 SPIDER-MAN IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE PLAY EVER
Web fingaz and jazz hands, together at last. Homophobic Turtle is not pleased (…or is he?).
I’ve covered this once before, but a Broadway producer named Julie Taymor (The Lion King) is working on a broadway musical about Spider-Man. Today the NY Post reports the budget is $40 million, the most expensive production in theater history.
Some of the people involved (there are dozens and dozens, with more being added daily) are starting to blanch at the price tag. With straight faces, a few are running around town saying things like: “Well, it’s $40 million now, but we think we can get it down to $35 million.”
If – and it’s a big “if” where Julie The Lion Taymor is concerned – they do bring it in for $35 million, “Spider-Man,” with a weekly running cost of $1 million, will have to run about 8,000 years in a Broadway theater just to break even.
“It’s off the charts,” one source says. “Off the charts.” [Later adding, "Wave of the future. Wave of the future, Wave of the future...]
Keep in mind this is a musical. About Spider-Man. With songs by Bono™. There will be choreographed dance numbers about Dr. Octopus and the Green Goblin. I could eat nothing but peyote every day for the rest of my life and still not come up with anything as fantastically stupid as this.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/LOGAN-LERMAN-SISTO-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/marc_webb-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/Pattinson-Spider-Man-150x150.jpg)
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/Spider-Man_kiss-150x150.jpg)
There are 34 comments about:
SPIDER-MAN IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE PLAY EVER
With songs by Bono it will be even more whiney and bitchy than the movies… I’d rather go see Mama Mia.
:-(
What’s spider-man going to look like singing about the poor starving kids in Africa? ridicluless.
also how the hell you going to hear a guy singing when he has a mask of his face.
I haven’t seen an inevitable loss of money this bad since my 401(k) last week.
whackety shmackety doooo
She’s my…butterfly
The Mighty Feklahr never could get His hands on some peyote…any good?
A man will beg
A man will crawl
On the sheer face of justice
Like a spider on a wall
It’s no secret
You would think $40 million would at least buy a costume with fucking gloves and an actor that isn’t afraid of free weights.
Don’t sell yourself short, Vance. I’m sure you could come up with something even more fantastically stupid. How’s film school treating you?
The gig is up when somebody sees Taymor’s copy of the script in which the title is pencilled in as “Spider Man The Musical: Springtime for Dr. Octopus”
I’m not in film school. ATONE FOR THAT COMMENT! TODAY!
This looks like the start of a really bad Mexican wrestling match. Damn it, I need a tamale.
Valince, I don’t know how you form your opinions, but if this doesn’t show up on your little top 9 list of 2008 ABOVE Wall-E, then sir, this site has lost all credibility and will no longer invest any weight in your stupid opinion.
It’s not about how long it would have to run on Broadway to make money. You see, when a Broadway play gets wildly successful, they’ll often make a movie based….on….the play?
Fuck this.
Go greased webbing you’re slicking up the roofied girl
(Greased webbing go greased webbing)
Go greased webbinging you’re coating with the heated oil
(Greased webbing go greased webbing)
You are supreme!
UH UH!
Spidey’ll cream!
UH UH!
With greased webbing!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
Yeah, that 35 or 40 million couldn’t be spent on starving people or others that don’t give a shit about the project…
That Asian chick in the legwarmers is absolutely adorable! is that Bruno in the yellow shirt? he’s such a rapscallion!
I’ll watch this if only for the line in one of the songs in which he proclaims that his spidey sense is a-tingle.
Who will help thwart Dr. Oc’s plan?
If anyone can, Spiderman can!
Spidey, Spidey your our man,
Come and save us from this Octopus man!
Spidey
SPIDEY
SPIIIIIIDY!
SPIDERMAN!
Line items from the Spiderman Musical budget:
1. Lighting: $450k
2. Choreography and dancer training: $732k
3. Dental implants for the Mary Jane character: $23k
4. Musical composition and orchestration: $1M
5. Director: $1M
6. Facility: $4M
7. Liability insurance for the rigging that will have Spiderman annoyingly swinging all over the fucking theater: $32.5M
I’m not in film school. ATONE FOR THAT COMMENT! TODAY!
Happy Yom Kippur to you, too. I beg your forgiveness so my name may be scribed in Adonai’s book of life.
How’s being the only white guy living in Harlem treating you?
Harlem’s the new Chelsea! More jazz hands than gang signs.
I thought the Speidi musical was a spinoff of The Hills. At least that’s what Charlize Theron told me in bed last night.
One could argue I’m in Morningside Heights. [/ real estate values]
10:1 Jack!’s in that Spidey get-up. Or at least wishing he was.
One could argue at least none of you are in Nebraska. Lucky Fuckers.
One could argue I’m in Morningside Heights.
WHICH SON OF A BITCH SAID THAT? These accusations shall not go unrevenged!
One could argue that New Jersey is the sixth borough, too, but I can’t get a city salary here.
Anyway, I think I’d rather see a musical about actual spiders.
Arachnophobia: The Musical would be pretty boss.
I’ve had games for the Commodore 64 load faster than this site is loading for me at work today. Anyhow, in honour of the previous South Park thread:
1 Make Spiderman: The Musical
2 ?
3 Profit
Julie Taymor is also responsible for Across the Universe, so if nothing else, you can expect the Spidey musical to not make even an ounce of sense.
lie Br0n
Time to go to work, work all night
Search for underpants, hey!
We won’t stop until we have underpants
Yum tum yummy tum day!
Lovely.
The Underpants Gnomes episode is still one of my favorites.
It’s subtle and mild. Mild, like that first splash of sun on an April morning.
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