ShowEast is some kind of convention for theater owners going on right now at the convention center in Orlando (ha, more like BORE-lando). A little blog called The Film Experience had a spy at the event who claims to have overheard the following conversation between two execs (whether they were studio execs or theater owners he does not specify).
Exec 1: Iron Man had a really good story line. I think there may be a segment of the audience that appreciates that.
Exec 2: Maybe…
Har. Better put this question to a focus group just to be safe.
[Thanks to Robo for the tip]
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Hahahahaha, Borelando. Fuck that city… hey, wait a second.
Should I go over and be the FilmDrunk spy?
*removes pantyhose from legs, puts over face*
I’d rather the film execs make more money than they’re worth. Story lines require someone to write them.
A movie exec wouldn’t know a good plot if it forced crushed glass down his dick-hole with a steel ruler.
George Lucas would be offended if you called it ‘Whore-Lando’. Things aren’t okay to joke about when they’re true.
The last time I saw a good plot was at my grandfather’s interment.
I can’t think of one, single thing to say about this post. Not one.
Way to suck the life out of the party, Orlando.
That quote makes me want to punch myself in the face.
I know…, wierd.
An exec was also overheard excitedly yelling into his cell phone “A COMIC BOOK ABOUT VIDEO GAMES!?!? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY!!!”
These two execs must be board members of “No Shit Sherlock, LLC”.
Exec 1: Iron Man was good, but you know what would make it better?
Exec 2: COCIAAAAAAANE!!?!?
The hookers on Orange Blossom Avenue were outstanding when i was down there in July, but the weird chick with bad acne and a glass eye that i met at Outback gave better head for just the price of a Bloomin’ Onion.
How in the hell was there never Gallagher: The Movie?
Don’t forget to support our sponsors and go see The Elephant King tomorrow!
These two execs must be board members of “No Shit Sherlock, LLC”.
No, they’re the ones producing the new RDJ movie.
It’s not entirely fair to bash execs for this kind of behavior. There are hundreds of shit-for-brains that this stuff gets filtered through before any news even reaches their doors.
So, correct me if I’m wrong, what they’re saying is, there is a segment of the film audience that likes quality story lines and such, but the masses love having shit shoveled directly into their brains?
Exec 1: Hey, so those Tyler Perry movies are pretty good, right?
Exec 2: I hope your kids fucking die, Derrick.
GoGoya, we pay you to work in accounting…not to comment.
My retarded mongoose, Jeeves, informs me that the working classes are not capable of understanding things such as “plot.” Hmmm, quite. We should listen to Jeeves. After all, he did matriculate from Exeter and Haaaavard.
I’ll have you know that Orlando is the hospitality industry’s training ground and all of Darden Restaurants’ enterprises train their staff here.
Also, we’re considered the Puerto Rican capital of America. So people get stabbed a lot.
Exec 1: You know what else they might appreciate? If we stopped green lighting Zombie movies, television show re-dos, and allowing Dane Cook and Kate Hudson to be in any kind of movie.
Exec 2: Ha ha ha! You’re so fucking funny, dude! Man I like it when you’re at these conventions.
Exec 1: Heh. Yeah, uh, I really had you goin’, huh?
There is a tingling in my spidey senses that tells me GoGoya may be a studio exec.
Are you sure you just don’t have ants in your pants, Eib?
Who’s in your av, Eib?
No, Erswi told me that it was spidey senses, not crabs.
Julie Newmar
Thanks for everything.
SS, are you a drag queen?
Stone . . . FAIL!
GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!1!!ONE!!
Exec 1: Hey, what are we grabbing for lunch?
Exec 2: Oh, ya know, the usual.
Exec 1: Unborn babies?
Exec 2: You fucking KNOW IT!
In 1974 a studio executive taking a tear jerking shit has a moment of clarity. His eyes widen as he comes to an incredible realization.
Cohesive story lines? Quality film making? Pluasibility? People want these things?!
He quickly cleans his asshole and leaps from his throne. The world must know! But he slips on a puddle of chihuahua piss on the tile, smashes his brains out on the still shit filled toilet bowl and dies. The film industry would carry on as it was.
NIAGRA FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLS!
Exec 1: Yeahhh, torture motherfucker what?
Exec 2: Torture nigga what?
Exec 1: What? I’ll fuckin, I’ll fuckin tie you to a fuckin bedpost, with your ass cheeks spread out and shit. Right?
Put a hanger on a fuckin stove and let that shit sit there
for like a half hour. Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like
Tssssssss
Ecex 2: Yeah, I’ll fuckin. Yeah I’ll fuckin lay your nuts on a fuckin dresser. Just your nuts layin on a fuckin dresser and bang them shits with a spiked fuckin bat like “Whassup? BLAOWWW!!”
Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch.
And no, I’m no drag queen. Just because I like to put on women’s clothes and gaudy make up is no reason to assume such things.
That’s the ORIGINAL Catwoman you’re talking about there Stoney. You needs to RECOGNIZE!!!!2!!!2
Did they mention that the conversation for those execs happened right before they signed off on Meet the Spartans 2?
I thought that was who it was, but I just wanted to confirm.
I just had a root canal. Two days ago. And, yeah.
is the guy on the left Richard Lewis?
Did you know: A thriving Vietnamese quarter called “Little Vietnam” or “Little Saigon” exists in the Colonialtown district of Orlando. The neighborhood has become a landmark in the city of Orlando and consists of numerous restaurants, groceries, and merchants offering imports from across Asia such as music, videos, collectibles, et al.
Also, a homeless person took a dump on the sidewalk across from my house last week.
The original and the best
In the banner pic, Exec #1 is clearly doing the finger-swipe-the-vag-subtle-smell-check operation.
I’m just wondering who he finger swiped… {Looks suspiciously at tranny exec #2}
Maybe it was just a really big dog, Burns
Nah, it was a homeless guy. Biquini Steve said to tell you he was sorry. He didn’t know a fellow Drunkard lived there.
I hear the new Macs feature Smell Check.
Or maybe it was me…
*smiles devilishly, eats fiber*
That’s why you shouldn’t feed bums, they just go all willy nilly and shit all over the place.
Stupid fucking soup kitchens!
The new Mac security protocol is gender specific.
For the ladies, it requires a scan match of their armpit hair.
For the fellas, it uses a dna match from their chin-strap beards and braided pony tail.
Jesus, there are more errors in my last post than Furcal had last night.
*backs out of crappy’s arm reach*
Hey! I don’t have a ponytail! How’d you know about the chin-strap though?
Eib told me.
Oh yeah! Wanna sniff it?
:(
Oh how the mighty have choken.
You guys are sick!
And I loves it!
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what is the prize for the 20 minute durst?
I couldn’t let you go thirty minutes again. The thought of you and Fek all sweaty in the broom closet made me hurl in the back of my mouth just a bit.
Thanks:)
VaLince, put down the cooking sherry and give us a new topic bro!
In other news, I was at jury duty for a few days and while in a jury box practicing my “Well, he wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t guilty!” getting out of getting put on a trial, I attempted the first ever, epic, FilmDrunk from the jury box! But the baliff saw me, gave me a I will fuck you up look, and I had to abort.
Empty Jenkem Baloon :(
Its the man keeping us down, DM!
Crapper, so did the glove fit?
Bull the baliff?
So……..
I got caught up on some shows last night. Did anyone else watch Reality Bites on Comedy Central? If so, does anyone else want to put it in Amy Schumer’s pooper?
They seemed to make a big deal about “giving full attention” to the proceedings, and something about “use of cell phones in the courtroom is tantamount to contempt” blah blah blah.
I feel the boot on the back of my neck Eibz. Fucking civic duty.
Don’t know GPP. I luckily didn’t get picked. I served on one trial, and wanted to kill all of the insufferable morons on that panel. Really really really bad.
“My peers” that were not, I’m a Filmdrunk! Not a retarded scrap-booking soccermom.
No ualyP, one of the sassy smoking old ladies with cancer.
No, but Chuck Schumer kinda does it for me. I’ll let you guess what “it” is.
IT’S NOT A SCHUMAH!!
Exec #1: “So, how many times do you think someone will keep trying to add me as a ‘friend’ on Facebook before they get the fucking hint?”
Hey Crappy, speaking of FB…
enePoo: She’s his niece. Win-win.
Eibmoz,
Once again you’re mistaking Spidey Senses for the tingling in your pants that reminds you to pick up a special brand of shampoo. Although I guess that can be a form of Spidey Sense?
Did you know: Orlando has become one of the fastest growing retail markets in the USA with at least five major upscale department stores opening last year alone and more than and 50,000,000 square feet (4,650,000 m2) of shopping space in Central Florida.
Also, a friend of mine had sex with Casey Anthony just a few months ago.
Prell? I love Prell! Eib, let’s go drink some Prell!
Thank you for the metric conversion, Bursy, I assume that was just for me and not from whatever “Exciting, Fun Facts About Your City” page you’re enlightening us all with.
New Up!
Stinky, no . . . yes . . . in that order. And I don’t even know who this Amy Schumer person is.