SAM MENDES ADAPTING PREACHER
10.30.08
Please cast Disaster Girl
Sam Mendes (American Beauty, Road to Perdition) will direct a live-action film adaptation of The Preacher.
The PREACHER series [which ran from 1995-2000], unquestionably one of the most compelling comic titles ever published, involves a rough-and-tumble Texan preacher who becomes imbued with the power of Genesis (the offspring of angel and demon). When he finds out God has left his post in Heaven, he takes off with his amateur assassin ex-girlfriend and an Irish vampire named Cassidy on a mission to make the Lord answer for his transgression. During their bizarre adventures they encounter various murderers and sodomites, the immortal Saint of Killers, and a secret paramilitary organization dedicated to protecting the bloodline of Christ. [JoBlo]
Kevin Smith had previously planned an adaptation which got all the way to the casting stage (aka the Preacher argues with God about Battlestar Galactica), and Ghost Rider director Mark Steven Johnson was developing it as an HBO series until HBO passed on it a few months ago (aka Nic Cage threatens God with his massive forehead). Anyway, if I ever got to confront God, I’d probably be all like, “Yo, no buttf-cking? Wut up wit dat?”
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a rough-and-tumble Texan preacher who becomes imbued with the power of Genesis
This is every preacher’s dream – the power of the Invisible Touch.
If I were confronted with God, I’d like to ask him why black people’s palms and soles are white.
Yeah, yeah, I know the joke about “assuming the position against the wall”.
Put it in your ass?
I sodo-MIGHT!
Spawn of angel and demon? Does this mean this is actually Little Nicky 2?
I was a plump-and-pale Floridian teenager who became imbued with a Sega Genesis.
Wow, that’s quite a description. Still seems less complicated than any David Lynch plot though.
If they don’t have inbred hillbilly descendants of Jesus, this movie is DEAD2Him.
This is making me think of Devil’s Advocate and I’m getting a boner thinking of that hottie redhead in it. She was in Gladiator too…
I would have sworn Quentin Tarantino wrote that plot synopsis except everything was spelled right.
Nic Cage? I would think that God would not have a receeding hairline. He is God, you know…
a rough-and-tumble Texan preacher who becomes imbued with the power of Genesis
He could finally kick Peter Gabriel out of the flock?
Not to get all off topic on everyone’s candy-yIntagh-ass, but there was a quote from a Madonna thread over there that He felt necessary to repost:
“The marriage rules said both parties must “devote time to our sexual expressiveness” and “not use sex as a stick to beat one another”.”
Simply put, if you aren’t having sex for abusive purposes, you aren’t really having sex.
Do Irish vampires drink 10 times more blood than normal vampires?
BTK, He got laid last night AND is playing hooky from work today. Feel free to worship Him.
Kevin Smith had previously planned an adaptation which got all the way to the casting stage
The deal fell apart when KS insisted on renaming it Reservoir Dogma.
HBO declined the Ghost Rider director’s adaptation after watching Ghost Rider
And then the Irish vampires get bloody dong which sounds gross but really it’s just whiskey dick.
I’m not falling for that again Fek. Last time I got on my knees for you, it didn’t end well for me.
a rough-and-tumble Texan preacher who becomes imbued with the power of Genesis
He found a drummer who can sing?
Irish vampires sing feeding songs and then bomb people.
a rough-and-tumble Texan preacher who becomes imbued with the power of Genesis
He can see the humor in those creepy puppets?
Rose McGowan said she would totally become an Irish Vampire.
“a rough-and-tumble Texan preacher who becomes imbued with the power of Genesis”
This is what happens when Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins run the train on you
If “Jesus he knows me” isn’t the first song played during the credits, this film can eat a dick.
a rough-and-tumble Texan preacher who becomes imbued with the power of Genesis… when he finds out God has left his post in Heaven
I bet he finds him lying down on Broadway.
If they weren’t already all dead, the concept of an amateur assassin ex-girlfriend would scare me.
When he finds out God has left his post in Heaven, he takes off with his amateur assassin ex-girlfriend and an Irish vampire named Cassidy on a mission to make the Lord answer for his transgression
What?? Where the fuck did he go? Wal-Mart? Are they mad that he’s buying Dr. Thunder instead of Dr. Pepper?
“This transgression shall not pass!”
What, God’s not allowed to take a dump?
I would totally do Sam Mendes’ sister.
Is Assface in this? That big FU to Cobain ?
*grabs rosary* This is either going to be amazing or sucking worse than Dungeons and Dragons.
Spin: if they do a slow, laughably bad death scene for the black comic relief guy then we’ll know. But I can’t imagine it being THAT bad. D&D made Uwe Boll’s worst shit smell sweet. Especially with that bad guy who looked like he’d given head to a trailer hitch.
“During their bizarre adventures they encounter various murderers and sodomites”
That describes a road trip I took through Arkansas.
The leads in this movie sound like a setup to a bad joke
“so, a Priest an assassin and a vampire walk into a bar…”
I don’t remember the rest but it invovled sodomy in some aspect
also that little girl, in regards to the original photo, reminded me of Damien at the end of “The Omen”
SANCTUS!!!!!!!!! RINIMUS!!!!!!!!! CORPUS!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t know how I missed this yesterday but this is gonna totally suck ass as a feature film. Would’a been better as an HBO series.
I’m stoked!
here is my casting wish list.
http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/5559/preacherhv3.jpg
wish list
http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/5559/preacherhv3.jpg