R.I.P, FARRELLY BROTHERS
10.28.08Sad Shark just remembered Kingpin. *sniff*
Hey, remember when the Farrelly Brothers made There’s Something About Mary, grossed $370 million on a $23 million budget and were the hottest filmmakers in town? Yeah, well now they’re directing, I shit you not, Walter the Farting Dog starring the Jonas Brothers [emphasis added to indicate level of incredulity -Ed.].
The title character in the “Walter” books is a fat dog with severe flatulence. The brothers play musicians [i.e., themselves] whose parents are asked to care for the dog by an aunt just before she passes away.
“By the time they’ve driven the dog home, everybody’s head is out the window of the family station wagon but Frankie [aka "the Bonus Jonas". Oh god kill me now], and only because he has a serious sinus problem and doesn’t notice the stench coming from Walter,” said Peter Farrelly.
While his brothers play music, Frankie and the gaseous hound get involved in a plot that involves liberating a koi fish and thwarting jewel thieves.
F-ck me. This sounds like something Eddie Murphy Martin Lawrence turned down. Is it because the Farrellys had kids? What is it about having kids that makes people stop being funny? Does your brain shoot out your dick when you impregnate someone? Because you could come up with any combination of kid celebrity and animal with a health condition and it still wouldn’t be as bad as The Jonas Brothers and a farting dog. Bongo the AIDS Bear, starring Miley Cyrus. Jamal the Leprous Manatee, starring Zac Efron. Milton the Ejaculating Dolphin, starring Ashley Tisdale. See? The Jonas Bros one is still worse.


Hey man! I’ve got kids and I’m still funny! Right guys? Guise? Gize?
Yeah and it will be a POS and still gross 220 million. Fucking A!
R.I.P. Farelly Brothers’ nads.
Also included in script, 30 minutes of excrutiating prop comedy
The key is to have the kids but don’t provide any money for them.
LeRoy the Clucking Chicken was scrapped back in the early 90′s because Boys II Men couldn’t find time in their touring schedule for filming.
The great thing is that if you have a book of matches, you can use that dog like a flamethrower!
J-thanks for providing Him with the segue to post this:
fstdt.com/fundies/comments.aspx?q=50366
I think its a pomeranian…
The Mighty One sees the Jonas Brothers are clad in their suits of Efronium-mail armour! Time to ssslay the dwagon, boyss!
Mark, they aren’t going to cast a dog that is too small to bang the Jonas Bros…it will be a Lab at LEAST.
I’m pulling for an 8 dicked St. Bernard then. Wait, is that homose-
Anyone else remember Taco, the Goat with Bell’s Palsey? It starred Menudo and Robert Goulet as a family trying to deal with Taco’s insecurity about his half-drooping face.
The Vegas over/under line on when the farting dog joke gets old is ‘the first national commercial spot’. Take the under.
My brother’s favorite movie was Bandit, the Lemur with Mitral Valve Prolapse starring Hansesn and Rita Moreno.
Coming soon: “Marmalade” – The story of a Marmot with Herpes who decides to reform his life after giving Lindsey Lohan the disease. The happy ending is when she reveals that she had Herpes all along, and the joke’s on him, now he’s got the AIDS!
Coming Soon: “Hell’s Bells” – Frankie is a Labrador with Bells Palsey who wishes he was a Hells Angel. One day he chases a motorcycle onto the freeway and gets put out of his misery.
It’s fucking snowing here.
“…a plot that involves liberating a koi fish.”
I hate when fish are koi. Look, I bought you the goddamn treasure chest with the little deepsea diver, now just blow me.
It was 20 goddamned degrees this morning here. Fuck cold weather in it’s wart infested asshole.
Really, Bell’s Palsey? You don’t say.
I wish my office cublicle had windows
Bonus Jonas – What I call it when I hit a squirrel with my car and the carcass flies into a young male teen on roller skates.
Oooh, I hope the dog talks!
I would pay to see the ejaculating dolphin movie in fact I would camp out for tickets if necessary uh, ya know for scientific reseach and stuff.
Finally after all these years, a live action sequel to The Great Muppet Caper.
Due to a misspelling in the poster, Germans just think he travels a lot.
I’m just hoping that the serious sinus problem ends up putting Frankie in a scene like the one from Scanners.
I’m lost on this post – which one actually has Bell’s Palsey?
When some genetic flaw prevents you from opening your eyes all the way, the last thing you need is all that hair in your face. I’m not surprised they dress like that.
A gastro intestinally challenged dog coping with 3 Down’s kids doesn’t sound like much of a comedy to me.
The ass cream moment after the dog buttfucks the bros. should be a Hallmark moment if ever there was one.