Some dork from MTV bravely risked a mauling to interview Steven Seagal just weeks before he returns to his den for winter. The topic? Under Siege 3.
“There are offers and we’re looking at them. I personally want it to be something more modern. In other words… I wouldn’t mind if it was about something more mystical or…maybe extraterrestrial in nature. …Some real government top secrets instead of just the typical.”
Gary Busey had a reality show. Steven Seagal doesn’t seem too busy. Anyone else thinking what I’m thinking? If we team these guys up for some sort of combination nature/self-help show it would be the most amazing thing ever. Just put them together and roll tape. Busey stalking coyotes, Seagal foraging for berries; both while delivering cryptic, mystical and biblical platitudes. Oh my God I deserve the Pulitzer for this.
Amazing knife fight starts at 2:10
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Under Siege. Busey and Seagal in the same movie. This is my thesis, man!
In Under Siege 3, Casey Ryback fights arthritis.
I told you he should to do more movies with Morris Chestnut.
The villain in Under Siege 3 is osteoperosis.
The only thing “under siege” about Seagal anymore is his elastic waistband.
Under Siege 3 can be about Seagal breaking out of a corrupt retirement home run by mean and careless health care providers. Oded Fehr can be the main villian.
I think they should make a documentary ala Grizzlyman. Send them to the forest to see who comes out alive.
Busey/Seagal sounds like a terrible name for an Italian gangster
Fuck Mike and his dyslexia. Villain.
Busey Seagal is a French gangster.
Is anyone else turned on by Tommy Lee Jones in studded leather and tie dye?
Under Siege 3: Seagal fights the Abominable Snowman.
They should have the two corey’s as Guest stars to Confuse Busey and Seagal….
I’d like to see an episode where Busey and Seagal spend the entire time explaining M.C. Escher drawings and telling the audience “It’s just so simple, how do you not get it?!”
I’m gonna have a damn anuerysm.
I fail to see the correlation between “more modern” = “mystical” = “real government top secrets”.
I think Seagal’s had one too many Asian Experience.
I wouldn’t mind if it was about something more mystical or…maybe extraterrestrial in nature. …Some real government top secrets instead of just the typical.
Holy shit, with idears like this coming out of Seagal, what’s the point of having writers? Give this guy his very own more perfect union.
In Under Siege 3, Casey Ryback battles terrorists to recover the Grecian Formula.
Under Siege 3: Ryback decides he should probably stop cooking so much stuff with bacon grease.
Under Siege 3: The Return of Krill.
Only this time, it’s Seagal’s dinner instead of Busey’s character.
In Under Siege 3, Casey Ryback tries to remember a time when Jordan Tate’s tits weren’t at her knees.
When the reporter asked who the villain would be, Seagal looked around the room and said, “Uhhhhhh, well they, uhhhhhhh… they’d be smart terrorists, and they go by the name Geek Squad.”
Asian Experience Enema? Asian Experience Is On The Move.
Under Siege 3: Seagal finds a powerful ally in the AARP.
Under Serge 3: Axel Foley goes gay.
Steven Seagal heard there was some sort of bear market and decided to go and see if he could find himself a mate.
Throw in Ted Nugent and I’m in.
Under Siege 3: Seagal plays blues guitar on Mars to save Erika Eleniak’s nipples.
I think Busey and Seagal should host a how-to show that answers viewer’s questions:
Steven: *scowling* “Today on ask Steven and Gary, we answer a question from Bob Tilson of Wilmington Delaware.
Bob writes ‘Dear Steven and Gary – how often should I clean my drier vent and ductwork?’”
Gary: “Well Bob, I think you’re a fucking asshole, that’s what I think. Steven?”
Steven: “Gary, I am going to have to agree with you. Bob does come off like an asshole. Bob – fuck off and stop watching our show.”
New Up!
Steven Seagal thinks Gary Busey communicates with him via spirit animals. Turns out he’s just been eating pigeons.
My last name is Ryback, I’m all for an under siege 3. It’ll be a mixture of Liquid Sky and Bridgette Jones Diary
From what I have heard on the interwebs, Seagal is filming a reality show in the town he lives in down south where he has been deputized in the sheriffs department. Its like Cops with Steven Seagal. He’ll be able to prove all those claims he used to brag about working with the CIA. I dont have a link offhand and I’m too lazy to find one.