10.08.08 NOT EVEN GOD CAN KILL NICK NOLTE
Nick Nolte narrowly escaped a fire that caused $1.5 million worth of damage at his Malibu home yesterday. The blaze grew, I imagine, when an angry Nolte hurled a snifter of Wild Turkey at the hibachi flames which devoured his favorite backscratcher.
The only injuries the 67-year-old actor sustained were smoke inhalation and a scrape to his arm, but he did not go to hospital for treatment.
The electrical fire started in the living room, said fire Inspector Frank Garrido.
Nolte smelt smoke from upstairs and broke a window to escape before tackling the blaze. [And then punching it in the mouth -Ed.]
“Nick Nolte was there apparently with a water hose trying to extinguish the fire himself and of course we came to help him out,” said Inspector James Barnes of the Los Angeles fire department. Damage was caused to the structure and contents of the house, but the building was not destroyed, he added. [BBC]
And if he wasn’t in his underwear that whole time I will drink my own piss. My sources also tell me the fire consumed a priceless collection of showbiz memorabilia and bar coasters, but was contained before it could take Terrence, the stuffed armadillo Nolte stabbed to death behind a saloon outside Odessa.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/06/Rango-Crop-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/NickNOlte-Dumpster2-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/Toonces_nolte-RipTorn-150x150.jpg)
There are 23 comments about:
NOT EVEN GOD CAN KILL NICK NOLTE
Lince, this made Him ROFLKOTAL!
I think the fire started in his “naked room”, so he was just wearing socks
He so fucking pissed at that Drew Barrymore now. He swears he saw her sitting in a car looking hard at his house.
I’m going to nominate Nolte as a recurring guest star on the Busey/Seagal power hour.
Neighbors only heard “Marnmm marnn mrrrwrrl hose”
Long suspecting that his universal remote control was actually a ray gun, Nick Nolte felt vindicated as he watched his house burning.
Any word on whether that little dog from Down and Out in Beverly Hills escaped injury?
What?
Come on . . . you mean to tell me that Hollywood stars aren’t the exact same people I see them portray in the movies? I seriously need to rethink my opinions of Kevin Costner.
He saw an ad for Burn After Reading, so he did
Nolte started the fire in a passionate fit when he found out Michelle’s baby wasn’t his.
Fake Michael Bay said that the house fire was poorly done and lacked visual impact, and will be punched up for younger audiences in post production.
Because he has long held the belief that all musicians are liars, Nolte is sending the bill for damages to Billy Joel.
Nolte started the fire in a fit of rage upon hearing that Brett Ratner would not cast him in Yet Another 48 Hours.
Investigators believe the electrical fire was caused by Nolte’s efforts to convert his home to solar energy, citing the use of several large sheets of polished metal connected to his outlets with jumper cables.
I haven’t seen this many burnt coasters since the Dreamland amusement park in Kent, England.
wackety smackety dooooooooo
“Nolte smelt smoke from upstairs”
Wow, he smelt smoke? That’s a skill. The rest of us are limited to smelting metals.
Thanks for mentioning it before I did.I didnt want to look like an asshole
New up.
If you didn’t get that, read while listening to this and smoking this.
If Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes wasn’t dead, i’d blame her.
‘Smelt’? Isn’t that any of various small silvery marine and freshwater food fishes of the family Osmeridae, found in cold waters of the Northern Hemisphere, especially Osmerus mordax of North America and O. eperlanus of Europe?
Where the hell is Kirk Cameron when you really need him?
Vince, where’s my shout out? Don’t make me sulk in the corner… (because I will)
Who knew cooking grain alcohol on a hot plate while standing in a tub of water could end badly?
And to think Nolte almost got cast as Han Solo.
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