JJ Abrams’ new Star Trek movie shot a load of fresh pictures all over the internet yesterday and I’ve compiled them for you here. I’m disappointed, but I don’t really know why. I guess I assumed a space captain would be a guy who could buy space beer with out getting space carded. But they look pretty much exactly how you’d expect from pictures of Star Trek as envisioned by the producer of Lost. With the possible exception of Eric Bana as Nero, they all have that cheesy TV look, with the glamour shots lighting and the I’ve-been-stranded-on-an-island-for-months-but-still-have-a-waxed-chest-and-designer-jeans feel to them.
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Set phasers to fabulous.
Oh nice, Benetton has gone galactic.
Once they pick up NPH they’ll be all set to roam the galaxies for a White Castle.
Our mission: to prank call Mr. Rooney and get Sloan excused from class.
Simon Pegg has the same look I would have if ever saw this.
In this Star Trek, Yeoman Johnson can’t wait to get killed.
In JJ Abrams Star Trek, tribbles are used instead of vibrating anal eggs.
Chris Pine looks more like a young Zapp Brannigan than a young James Kirk.
Burnsy, tell me about it! They all look “expendable”.
And I see they still haven’t grasped the seat belt concept.
First Jesus and now Xenu. Eric Bana’s on a holy roll.
These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise, it’s Party-of-Five year mission…
Captains Log
OMG I soo cannot believe that we are, like, running through space. Oh, and, Dear Diary, I cannot sleep with Spock until he gets a proper haircut!
Karl Urban looks more average than me. Nicely done JJ.
So Haley Joel Osment will be playing Khan?
MIZ, I dont want to see his moobs!
Instead of radar, Sulu monitors the latest Variety for Gossip Girl auditions.
New Up!
Their communicators all have unlimited texting subscriptions.
In JJ’s Star Trek, Spock will cut himself and have a cigarette everytime something illogical happens.
Why is Nosferatu in this?
Not to get all picky and shit but I seem to remember that blue shirts were for Science and Medical officers, red for engineering and communications, and gold for command in TOS . . . why the fuck is that asshat wearing black? WTF is this? Emo Trek?
Dude, you gotta introduce me to that black chick
Abrams has some creepy fetish with young hipster looking dudes. Everything he’s ever done is filled with them – Lost, Cloverfield, Star Trek. I’m going to go out on a limb and say he likes fucking soft young androgynous boys.
Is it just me or does Karl Urban look exactly like John Fugelsang?