MADONNA AND GUY, A TRIBUTE
10.15.08Everyone’s reporting the big news today that Madonna and Guy Ritchie are officially divorcifying. I could’ve sworn they reported this months ago, but whatever. The important thing is that no one will ever make a movie like Swept Away ever again.
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Has anybody told A-Rod yet that her twat’s been reamed out to the point where when he shoves a baseball bat in top first she’ll still be asking “Is it in yet”?
NIAGRA FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLS!
The important thing is that no one will ever make a movie like Swept Away ever again.
I don’t know how you can such a thing with a straight face, knowing that Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan are getting married.
Erswi, he likes her because her cootch looks like a worn in catchers mitt.True story
The best part about this is that A-Rod will now be able to publicly empathize with his team’s catcher.
dammit, Eibmoz…
This may be the scariest thing I’ve heard in a while. They already know not to attempt another movie, but Madonna could marry another guy who doesn’t know.
If she married Brett Ratner and they made a movie together it could destroy the world.
Now Madonna is free to pursue her relationship with Guy Ritcher.
::goes to sit in the dugout::
Incidentally, do you think A-Rod refers to sex with Madonna as “going to the dugout”?
We’ll prolly never hear a Madonna song in a Guy Ritchie movie again, either. So, double bonus.
She went from an Englishman to A-Rod?
Do they even have hockey in England?
The important thing is that no one will ever make a movie like Swept Away ever again.
Yeah, but as you’ve already pointed out a sequel to Twighlight is in the works…
Oh, hey! I figured how to make bold writing!
It’s time to get drunk.
Jack! the British INVENTED hockey. Suck it Canucks!
Swept Away II will be a documentary about the 2008 Yankees season.
Bryce, I apologize. you’re a gentleman and a scholar.
itty, Madonna refers to sex with the entire Yankees starting lineup as “going to the dugout”.
Madonna always looked like she belonged more with Guy Smiley.
Hang on. I just watched that railer. Is that the actual trailer to Swept Away? I thought Madonna did a very good job acting like an insufferable old cunt.
But I liked that movie better when it was Overboard/Cast Away/6 Days, 7 Nights/ Don’t Mess With Zohan…
As a rule, I don’t get into bed with a woman who can do more push-ups than me. Now that I think about it, I need to make a booty call to the convalescent home this weekend. Daddy’s horny as all get out.
^ Trailer
… but A Rod said he ‘Railed’ her.
I don’t know what you guys are so worked up about.
I’m all about nailing chicks who look like Iggy Pop.
Bryce, stop making yourself a target.
Someone said something about getting drunk, good enough for Him!
*glugglugglugglug*
Donk, Guy Smiley wants to fight the guy in your av for the title of “America’s FAVEorite game show host”.
The main issue fo the divorce is who gets that African kid they ‘adopted’. I they are both trying to get the other one to take full custody.
“David who?” Said Madonna on her way to the lab to drink virgin blood.
imless, “felt up” means something completely different when you’re talking about fighting with muppets.
Well, maybe he will make movies that dont suck again.
Guy separating from Madonna means that he’s gonna make decent movies again? Did I miss the part where he’s getting back with Jason Statham?
*ducks and covers*
I’m just amazed it took Guy Ritchie so long. The last time I woke up next to something as hard and veiny as Madonna, I couldn’t look my college roommate in the eyes for a whole semester.
Why isn’t Vince talking about the REAL movie news?!
The cinematic release of Saw V?!?!?!?!!!one!!!
But who gets custody of Madonna’s accent?
That African kid will get it. He’ll sit around all day enthralling the village with his tales…
“When oie was livin’ wiff tha old Witch loidy in Ole Londahn Town, Jason Fahkin Stratham came round our gaff most days for tea…”
The last time I woke up next to something as hard and veiny as Madonna, I couldn’t look my college roommate in the eyes for a whole semester.
Dear god, you’re right. She’s a phallus with a human face! A penis that walks among men!
Wanting to be with Mandonna is one step from going full gay.
He Win, Why do you think A-Rod likes her so much?
Donk, so when they’re making the beast wiff two backs . . . does that make it 2-Rod?
Erswi, only when Mads is giving it to A-Rod from behind.
Does this count as a mega Durst for Donk?
The best thing about this news is that it was printed on recycled paper.
Off-topic, but this needs to be said: unless I missed it, GPP never finished the fucking James Bond/Putin/erswi joke.
*flips through channels, finds President Logan from 24 on Hannah Montana, head explodes*