LETHAL WEAPON 5 STOMPS THE YARD
10.07.08I’m not one who likes to brag about being right because I’m almost always wrong, but I think you’ll have to agree, I was pretty close this time! Here’s what I said about Lethal Weapon 5 last time I wrote about it:
You know the new cops would just be Nick Cannon and some squinty white guy like Josh Hartnet or Taters Channing or whatever his name is.
Today, the rumor is that Lethal Weapon 5 is on the fast track, and that Columbus Short is up for the role of Murtaugh’s son. See how close I was? Okay, I know Columbus Short is not Nick Cannon, Columbus Short was in Stomp the Yard and Nick Cannon was in Drumline. But come on, Drumline, Stomp the Yard – all those movies look exactly the same!
Wait, hold on, that came out wrong… Crap, I’m gonna get letters about this, aren’t I.
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I’d rather be Columbus short than Cleveland long in this market.
I thought “Vin” stomps the “yard”.
They’re too old for this shit.
Columbus Short is awfully similar to my stage name San Francisco Sausagefist.
{Gives VaLince Snickers, pats on head}
Goood boy!
*crosses fingers hoping Christina Milian is Murtaugh’s hot ass daughter*
Lince, if the letters you receive are anything like the emails in His Spambox, you will be eligible for discounted Viagra and Cialis, your “member” will be larger, someone will need you to bring money into the USA from some whacked out Middle East country, NAMBLA will be demanding membership fees, and Bill Gates will pay you to forward this email!
Murtagh’s son always rolls his neck 360 degrees before holding his pistol sideways.
“some squinty white guy like Josh Hartnet or Taters Channing”
It’s Josh Hartnett and Tatum Channing!
*runs away clutching Josh & Tatum Friends 4ever pillow*
But… but… but he’s blick!
You know, if i really could add three inches to my penis, i would finally be able to suck myself off…fuck you Cialis! a goddamn pack of lies!
I guess Kimbo Slice is no longer being considered.
Well the Santa Maria came to North America with both Columbus and a cannon, so as far as I’m concerned the two are interchangable. Nice call, good sir!
Speaking of some squinty white guy like Josh Hartnet, i watched Lucky Number Slevin for the first time last night. Good movie. So, Nick Cannon’s the black guy. I’ve been confusing him with some douchebag who banged Paris Hilton. Sorry, Nick.
Great. More cast members. So we’ll have Riggs and Murtaugh bitching about the slugs on their bugonias and stinking of Bengay, Pesci and Rock screaming at each other uninteligibly, and Russo having hot flashes and breast feeding a five year old.
Can’t wait.
The lethal weapon in this one will be euthanasia.
Columbus Short. From Detroit. Ex-boxer. His real name was Joey Chicago. He fought under the name of Kid Minneapolis. I saw Kid Minneapolis fight once. In Cincinnati. No I’m thinking of Kid New York. He fought out of Philly. He was killed in the ring in Houston. By Tex Colorado. You know, the Arizona Assassin, from Dakota. I don’t remember if it was North or South. Wait, North. South Dakota was his brother. From West Virginia.
All I know is never bet on the white guy.
Who’s going to play Sugar Tits JewHater’s son?
*hearts Pauly*
I mean, um, I fuck mad broads.
*winks at Burnsy, continues jacking off into Donald Duck orange juice carton*
Pauly,
What about the medium-sized guy the called Slim and the slim guy they called Guy?
Oh wait, should I have directed this at Big Pauly, medium Pauly, or little Pauly?
I hope they get Gilbert Gottfried for the squinty-eyed guy.
{winks in accordance to rule #6 of the CJC}
So they need to find a more obscure contry for the bad guys to come from, I’m thinking Estonia.
Gilbert always annoyed me until I saw his parts on Aristocrats, then I ‘got him.”
Just a seond, there Mister Yard Stompy.
If they’re gonna stomp the yard, should they get those informercial spikes you attach to your shoes, so they can aerate the lawn at the same time?
Sold here.
$16.99 plus tax. “You have penny”?
I dunno, money’s pretty tight right now.
New Up!
I have no clue, nor inclination to try and recall what 3 and 4 were about.
I recall Mr. Joshua and some Afrikaneers. I guess that was 1 and 2. Oh, and Patsy Kensit, one of my favorite skinny white girls with huge cans.
Al,
c’mon! break out the loonies…
Yeah, yeah, New Up!
I can’t wait until they blow up the rec center