Oi, ‘allo.  Jason fock’n Stafam ‘ere again.  ‘Scuse me whoile oy put moy fock’n pants back on, now innit.  Roighto den. So dis is da new fock’n traila fa moy new fock’n movie, Da Traspor’a Paht Free.  In dis one, oy’s gonna droive roun’ punchin’ fock’n blokes an’ taggin’ birds, now isn’ oy? Cuz dat’s wha’ oy fock’n do, now don’ oy?  In between fock’n transpor’erin’ fings a course.

Righto den, yeah.  So den in dis one, some cheeky cunt ‘as put a fock’n bomb roun’ moy fock’n wrist, anne sez ‘e’s gonna set it off if oy go more den 75 fock’n feet from da fock’n car.  Oi, ‘sa good fockin’ fing ‘e ain’t set da fock’n bomb on moy shir’, now don’ it?  Cuz oy’s oilways a good fock’n ways away from moy shir’ now doesn’ oy?  Anyway, as oy was sayin, oy can’t go very far away from da fock’n car, else da cunt’ll blow me oll ta shite.  Luckily, dey done fought of everyfing, and not only do oy get ta droive a flash shoiny bloody sazz wagon, day done put a fit bird roight dere inna fock’n car wif me.  Moighty fock’n convenien a dem, oy fought.  Dat way after oy’s done beatin a piss out a cunts, oy can go roight back to da fock’n car, an’ ‘ere’s a fock’n bird roight fock’n ‘ere. Oy, ‘howz abou’ a shag den, swee’art?  Roighto den.  Long story fock’n shor’, go see moy fock’n movie, ya cunts, cuz ovvawoise oy’s gonna roide moy bloody fock’n BMX boicycle roight up your fock’n backside, now isn’ oy.  An’ den oy’s gonna do a fousand fock’n pushups.  Cunts.