Writer/director Mabrouk El Mechri’s JCVD premiered to rave reviews at the Cannes Film Festival (you know it’s good when the none of the quotes in the trailer are from Pete Hammond, Ben Lyons, or AICN). It finally roundhouse kicks American theaters in the face Novermber 7th. If you haven’t heard anything about it, JCVD is what happens when a guy imagines what Jean Claude Van Damme’s life must be like, writes a movie about it, and then gets the actual Jean Claude Van Damme to star in it. In short, pure brilliance. It’s so meta I could eat my own shit.
I also think it’s no coincidence that he shares his initials with “Jesus Christ Venereal Disease”.
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This may be the best thing JCVD has done since he won the title in ECW.
JCVD bogarts air time like he bogarts a FAT JOINT!
Kurg, I know right? Or how about when he Van Daminatored Sabu from like 300 ft away? That shit was tight!
RE!
SPECT!
WALK!
DSOFKJREWOFIJREWOIFJREW!!!
What did you say?
Luch-that was so fucking perfect.
ARE YOU TALKING TO ME!?!?
Run your mouth when I’m not around all you want, Luch!
At one point, my entire music collection was just ECW themes,
Oh, fuck, brb…gonna go hit Marlene with a folding chair…
Why does he kind of look like Seal?
Dor sho gha! Marlene is selling that like a fucking pro! Leg twitchin’ and everything…
Marlene, duck!
too late. Oops
Alternate title: Being John Smack-a-bitch
JCVD is to Chuck Norris
as
Waffle is to Pancake?
JCVD: Superstar
I’m going to buy the DVD of this movie and cast its case as the good guy against the case of the Being John Malkovich DVD’s bad guy. The plot twist comes when they realize that they’re both fighting over Erin Brockovich and decide to say “fuck it” and team up against Aliens Vs. Predator.
I think it’s very cool that JCVD can be so self-deprecating. I’m sure the fact he’s being paid for it and couldn’t get into another Cannes film without buying a ticket helps too.
JCVD should give Marky Mark a brown belt* and tell him to lighten da fahk up.
* meaning he should step in dog shit and deliver a roundhouse kick to Marky Mark’s solar plexis.
This role could only be self-depricating if JCVD ended with the star turning down an indie movie role, going back to his studio apartment and yelling at his dog for the bad advice.
Dr Steve, how did you know my dog gives me advice?
JCVD is self-defecating? Are we sure about that? I thought he just tucked his package back so as not to ruin the line of his trousers.
There’s no way this is better than Last Action Hero.
Self-deficating is something totally different but equally as hilariously degrading.
oops, I crapped my pants!
Grandma just crapped her pants!
Eib, from the looks of your avatar, I hope your dog’s first piece of advice was “don’t turn your back on the cat.”
Beat you to it, Erswi!
Dammit!
This same writer was going to work on a Steven Seagal movie along the same lines,but found that sleeping and mumbling incoherently don’t translate well to film.
Who was asking for Al earlier? Turns out that today’s Canadian Thanksgiving Day, eh? So let’s all remember what we have to be thankful for, eh? I’m thankful for a job that allows me to blog on FD for the better part of four hours every morning.
Eh?
I like beating Erswi
They should take off eh Erswi?
HOsers!
The unfortunate truth behind JCVD is that it’s actually his evil twin brother who was cast in the starring role.
New Up!
Jerks Cock Very Dignified
Yes, having a quote from “AOL Moviefone” is MUCH more respectable.
The best part is the whole time JCVD thought he was doing a serious action film called Blood Kicker Death.
Death Day Afternoon
Dog Day Afterwound
Dog Sport Afterkill
Kill Day Killer Kill