HULK AND AVENGERS WILL BE FRENEMIES
10.14.08
As I pointed out in my original review, the only sense the ending of the Incredible Hulk made was as a setup for a sequel. In a recent interview with MTV, Iron Man writers Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby (best. name. ever.) say the plan is to make Hulk the villain in an Avengers movie.
“I hope ‘The Avengers’ embraces that,” Fergus said of having the Hulk as misunderstood baddie. “You don’t want like 10 super-badass good guys fighting together. Where’s the fun in that? Let’s break it off a little. Friends or colleagues [Dammit, Thor, did you finish those TPS reports? -Ed.] who become enemies is always an interesting thing because you know it’s based on love and friendship and that’s always the worst thing to have turn bad — is someone you actually care about and someone you actually believe in.”
“I personally like when good-guy characters have to fight each other,” he went on. “Good guys going against good guys who both believe in an issue is way more interesting than a villain clearly into evil and I like when former friends become committed enemies.”
It’s funny, sometimes I’m tempted to weigh in on how I feel about which superheroes should fight each other. And then I remember I’m not seven. To make this interesting I say they make the Hulk a closeted homosexual. “Why’d you turn into the Hulk, Bruce? We were just hanging out all calm when Tony Stark came out of the shower in a towel and… hey, wait a second…”

The best name ever is Crash Fistfight.
The only comic book argument acceptable past age 13 is whether Betty or Veronica would give better head.
Vince, I hope my DVD is in the mail……..
Totally Betty. She’s got something to prove.
*pulls down strap on unitard, puts in mouthpiece*
Yoush meansh mysh DeeshVeeshDeesh, ashshole.
Archie: They call him Jughead for a reason.
Every night, the Hulk smashes the Avengers’ Mercedes Benz.
Let’s all practice for the S.A.T.s by trying out an analogy.
Hulk is to smash as Tony Stark is to ___________.
Hawk Ostby is no Somsak Techaratanaprasert.
Hulk is to smash as Tony Stark is to gash.
*takes of shirt, starts chewing turnbuckle*
After I’m done with you Ashley, I’m gonna fuck your hot, blonde, cousin.
If you guys look at that old thread, He Filmdrunks the fuck out of it drunk on African wine, ROFLKOTAL!
Hulk is to smash as Tony Stark is to Bartles and Jaymes?
Hulk is to smash as Tony Stark is to Black Sabbath?
Hulk is to smash as Tony Stark is to smashed?
Hulk is to smash as Donk is to mashed potatoes.
Hulk is to smash as Iron Man is to shoot cool little missles that appear harmless but actually blow up a tank.
That’s JesusChryslerSuperCar with the win.
Look for your crayon drawing of my penis in the mail.
Grammar is to Filmdrunk as Fuck is to You.
“That cloud looks like a puppy!”
“That cloud looks like a popsic-HOLY FUCK RUN!”
Hulk is to smash as Pauly is to AIDS.
Hulk is to smash as Burnsy is to gay for not trying to fuck his hot, blonde cousin.
Hulk is to smash as Terence Howard is to NOT IN THIS MOVIE EITHER.
Hawk Ostby is a way better name than my wife’s old dancer name, Chlamydia Axewound.
Pretty sure that doesn’t make sense.
^2
Hulk fighting the Avengers is going to be like that scene from Matrix 2 in the courtyard where Keanu just keeps kicking totally unrealistic cgi agent ass. Don’t remember that scene? Yeah, exactly.
Hawk Ostby is a cool name, but it’s no
Ashley BurnsHowie FeltersnatchI don’t have anything to add. i just clicked in here to get a glimpse of Salma Hayek’s tits down there.
The anagram of Hawk Otsby is “Task By Who.”
that CANT be a coincidence.
I always thought that Hulk would be fighting his son’s legal fees in the sequel.
Down where?
I know very little about SATs. Aren’t they mostly multiple choice? In which case: E) None of the above.
It’s under there, Fek.
Clitoria Jackson would be a good stripper name.
under WHERE?
Why would Clitoria Jackson be a good stripper name?
I think they should fight after Hulk tells the Avengers he can smash Russia from his house.
Heh, heh. I made you say “underwear”.
OH MY GOD!!
*slaps forehead
I CANT BELIEVE I SAID THAT!!
LOL!
Oh, where the fuck is Brunsy to spike His set?
Hmm…that sounded hetero…
Clitoria Jackson’s Hulk defeats Iceman by lighting a fart!
Clitoria Jackson’s Hulk likes songs that say “Clap your hands!” and “Say ‘Oh-ooooooh!’” He goes on to stun everyone in the room with one thunderous clap and screams about it.
Clitoria Jackson’s Hulk can fix her distributor cap for her…free of charge.
Clitoria Jackson’s Hulk can beat Superman in an arm-wrestling match, but loses to The Flash in a race. To save face, Hulk tears The Flash’s head off and shits down the neck hole.
*puts down Veronica sock puppet*
What happened now?
Hulk obviously suffers from Mancini-Digititus. That fucker would have to get gloves made by a tent and awning company.
*knowing wink and nod to J and the three other Mid-westerners who can really appreciate that joke*
Yes, former friends becoming committed enemies is very interesting. So interesting in fact, that it’s pretty much what’s kept MTV on the air for the last decade.
The Real World: Avengers
The Mighty Feklahr recently learned that a business associate is an MMA fighter and there is a show coming up soon! He is SO going!
GRRR…GROUND AND POUND!
The rift started when Hulk finally got fed up with moving everyone’s shit around the Avenger’s Mansion without complaint, but never getting a courtesy hummer or even a six pack for his efforts.
I heard the fight started over a clogged shower drain and a bunch of fingers being pointed at Furry Captain America.
The fight starts when Hulk can’t understand why the others won’t let him invite Nick Nolte over to the house to hang out.
The rift could be because Hulk and Scarlet Witch had been drinking too much one night, and in a drunken stupor, he thought giving her the shocker felt like the right thing at the right time.
Tony Stark comes downstairs to hear Bruce Banner busy cleaning up broken furniture and a sticky mess amid excuses that he had a bad dream. He turns on the Television and sees that the channel is still on Cinemax. Everything is forgivable until he discovers Pepper Potts’ legs tucked behind the TV stand and her torso in the kitchen.
Banner pic: “The Avengers were humiliated when the Hulk kept stage diving at the Jonas Brothers concert.”
The fight starts after an innocent practical joke. Captain America replaces Bruce Banner’s “Sounds of the Sea” relaxation music with Pantera. Hijinks ensue.
The fight started when Iron Man called the Hulk racist because he doesn’t have any black friends.
Banner Pic: HULK LIGHT AS A FETHAR! HULK FLOAT LIKE WISPY LITTLE CLOUD!
It all started when Captain America misplaced his shield, and insinuated that Luke Cage had stolen it. Hulk, knowing what it was like to be discriminated against because of the color of his skin, stands up for his “nigga”, and the beat downs begin.
HULK AND NICK FURY FRIENDS! WE MAYBE NO HANG OUT MUCH OR LISTEN TO SAME MUSIC, BUT HULK THINK HE REALLY GOOD GUY. VERY WELL-SPOKEN!
The fight started because the Avengers invited the Hulk to the prom and then poured pig blood all over him. Then a bloody Hulk on the rag started smashing shit.
I heard the fight started because the Avengers invited Hulk to join and Hulk later found out they only did it because they had a bet with the Justice League that they could make Hulk the prettiest superhero of all time. Hulk felt so betrayed and hurt that he went home and wrote in his diary while listening to Panic at the Disco and cutting himself.
Oh, and also . . . HULK SMASH!
Punishing New Up.
Everyone knows that the fight started because The Avengers stole The Hulk’s cheerleader routine and passed it off as their own routine.
This already happened in the comics: The Ultimates. Hulk went nucking futs when his woman went on a date with Freddie Prinze Jr, so Hulk goes to murderize him when the Ultimates step in (the Ultimates=Avengers). Hulk kills about 400 people beforehand. Good job. Here’s a bit:
http://images.wizarduniverse.com/WizardUniverse/magazinepics/hulksmash/10.jpg
Hulk goes on a rampage because despite growing 10 times the size of Bruce Banner, the crotch of his pants never gets any roomier. What the fuck is that zipper made out of, adamantium?
“Why’d you turn into the Hulk, Bruce? We were just hanging out all calm when Tony Stark came out of the shower in a towel and… hey, wait a second…”
HULK NO LIKE TONY STARK! HULK NO DATE ASSHOLES! HULK NOT WOMAN!
HULK ALSO NOT VILLAIN! MAYBE OTHER AVENGES VILLAINS. HULK HEAR TONY STARK REAL ASSHOLE.
This gives new meaning to “raging homosexual”