HOBBIT SELLS CORPSES TO HELLBOY
10.29.08Dominic Monaghan stars opposite Ron Perlman in I Sell the Dead, a rare film in which Perlman isn’t covered in makeup and prosthetics.
In 18th Century England, a young graverobber, played by Monaghan, finds himself condemned to death for his crimes, with only a priest (Perlman) for company for his last night before the gallows. A hilarious tale is told of a life spent digging up and selling supernatural corpses including vampires and zombies, and the many shenanigans involved!
Looks alright I guess. The important thing is that they never bring back Monaghan’s character on Lost. God I hated that whiny pussy. I haven’t been so happy to see someone drown since I was a lifeguard. Whackety schmackety dooo…
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Perlman isn’t covered in makeup and prosthetics
You mean… that’s his real head?
What the fuck? Are you sure the Priest just doesn’t get him in the ass? Seems more logical than Vampires and Zombies.
The Mighty Feklahr would rather see Elijah Wood opposite of Lou Perlamn! I’m gonna make you a star, you little bitch!
I’d be the lazy employee who’d wait for the vampires and zombies to unearth themselves. I’d just sit there with a net and a portable t.v.
A priest named Perlman? What’s next, a rabbi named Spender?
Its because of movies like this that people like Jack think there’s hilarious shenanigans involved in necrophilia.
Xmas movies just keep coming out earlier every year.
A hilarious tale is told of a life spent digging up and selling supernatural corpses including vampires and zombies, and the many shenanigans involved!
Like this one time, the guy didn’t have exact change, so he had to buy TWO small bodies instead of one big one! Oh, we loffed and loffed…
“But first I got a big old bone for you to dig up.”
Wait, you can sell the bodies you dig up?
*Dials Chodin*
Bro, we’ve been doing it wrong… Yeah, apparently there’s a market for ‘em… No, I don’t know the price difference if they’re used.
Sounds like Amadeus, with the deathbed/last night of life schtick.
Burnsy, the family dropped part of his name when they went thru Ellis Island: PerlNeckalacenstein.
http://transelvania.craigslist.ro
FS – Bodies, various
Looking for a dead body? You’ve found the best source. Too many to list individually – I’ve probably got what you need. Serious inquiries only.
__
It is NOT ok to contact the seller directly
What do you charge to dig up dead bodies?
An arm and a leg.
*rimshot* for Donkey
From under the pile of bodies, Rose McGowan yells “I’M NOT DEAD, ASSHOLE!”
That’s Ron Perlman?!? I thought it was that monkey from Dunstin Checks in!
Q: Why do they have to keep retraining the Shire Police Department?
A: They’re always picking up bad hobbits.
Geico dot com. So easy, Ron Perlman and Rae Dawn Chong can do it.
*chodin dials Donk*
WE’VE BEEN DOING IT ALL WRONG!?!?! SHIT-PISS!!!!!!!
When I die, I want to be buried with some kind of springboard attachment in my coffin. That way, when future people go to dig me up, they’ll know I must of been a funny fucking dude.
I’m 87% certain that Ron Perlman could headbutt me in half.
If digging bodies up is a crime then how come they dress them so nice?
Ron Perlman’s head is the reason they tell you not to do Kegel exercises during birthing.
Ron Perlman went to get himself drawn by a caricature artist and the dude freaked the fuck out and started screaming about how he’s been doing it too long.
I gotta admit, necrophilia seems a lot more interesting than those debates between “short arms” and “purple lips” or as my Dad calls them…”T-Rex” and “Dead Nigger”
I am going to request that the top of my coffin be painted to resemble the view of a Chinese village from a manhole.
The springs in a Ron Perlman bobblehead doll are the same kind you can find in the shocks of a Baja Racer.
When Ron Perlman brainstorms, people die.
Stoney: hahahahahahahhahaha
That is all. I have nothing relevant to add…..
I’d draw you a Ron Perlman emoticon, but your monitor isn’t big enough to look at all of it.
Ron Perlman’s hat size is i.
Ron Perlman wears a Smart Car as a helmet.
I don’t know what’s up with the previous thread’s commenting but I am so hard right now. And it’s not b/c of Perlman or Billy Boyd. Whatever his name is.
I want the top of my coffin to read:
“Please don’t fuck my ass. We’ve got a bet going up here and George Carlin is convinced that you’re going to fuck my ass. Thanks -chodin”
Ron Perlman’s neck is named Atlas.
erswi- I’m right there with you pal. My penis can’t decided whether to throw up or retract.
Ron Perlman could play Powdered Toast Man in a live action version of Ren n’ Stimpy.
*beating Donk’s horsey dick*
Ron Perlman’s hat size is Culligan jug.
Meghan: thanxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(nominate it…)
Ron Perlman has never had a bowl cut because the city council of Pasadena is a bunch of dicks.
When Ron Perlman has a headache, you feel it.
Maybe I will, Stoney, maybe I will…..
When Ron Perlman gets an idea, your city’s power grid shits the bed.
Hey Meghan, peep this: 8=D
It’s a dick. Get it? See, the “8″ and the equal sign form the balls and shaft, and the cap- fuck it.
The solution to global warming is to have Ron Perlman drink a slushee really fast.
When Ron Perlman looks in a funhouse mirror, he sees Wil Ferrell.
If Dominic Monaghan ever dug me up, I’m pretty sure my dusty corpse could still kick his buck-o-five ass.
Ron Perlman’s head is tall enough to ride this ride.
There wasn’t any makeup left after HellBoy
When Ron Perlman deals poker, he wears your fiberglass, porch roof as a visor.
Ron Perlman has been seeing a psychologist for a decade, but no luck so far…
Guy Who Says New Up is pissing me off.
Chod, what the hell, man? I didn’t do anything to you!! Don’t be a meanie!! Stoney’s comment made me giggle, that’s all….
yeah, I said meanie. So?
Ron Perlman’s nickname in the Marines was “Sam’s Club”.
If you get that, then I’m sorry.
Burnsy, I’m stil mad at ‘Guy Who Warns You That Ron P. Is About To Fucking Pop Up In A Movie Trailer’.
What has this world come to? Can’t a girl appreciate some dude showing her how to draw a dick with keyboard keys!?
The terrorists have won…what’s next, a black President?
8=D;(
Fine, Chod. But do you know how to draw boobies? (*)(*) <—- Ok, weird looking boobies….whatever….