High School Musical 3 opens this weekend, and I shit you not, experts are predicting a $40 million-plus opening weekend. According to Nikki Finke, HSM3 currently accounts for 85% of all movie tickets sold on MovieTicket.com, and 86% on Fandango.
This movie is going to make a billion dollars. You know what I call that? Poetic justice. This is exactly what all of you sex and violence-hating pussies deserve: a nation full of gay kids. Because you know what you get when you take nudity and gun fights out of movies? You get a bunch of f-cking kids doing a big musical number about basketball on the basketball court. Then you hand your son a basketball and tell him to go play and wonder why he just stares at it like it’s a stage prop. Look at that f-cking picture! I gazed at it a little too long and all of a sudden I was French-kissing a man. Just imagine your kid sitting through two hours of that. That would make a lumberjack love cock.
But I’m sure it’s fine. Just make sure you send him to one of those camps that cures gay people, where they make him bunk with 20 other gay kids and all the counselors are guys who were gay until they learned how to conquer their queer with Jesus.
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*Pauly removes cock from mouth*
Who’s dick is this?
I’m okay now, Lance. You can let me out of the cellar now.
That picture’s much more awesome if you just imagine that they are all falling off of a very tall building.
.. and don’t forget Vannessa Hudgens encouraging our nation’s teen girls to “groom” themselves like lesbians.
I’d like to add that I would fuck all those girls in that banner pic.
I just realized that I’ve ordered the upcoming MMA pay-per-view. Damn those gay molecules.
John Wayne would like to roll over in his grave, but he’d probably just get nailed in the ass.
One day, scientists will identify the gay element and name it Efronium.
Dor Sho GAH!!
They are gonna remake 80′s lizard alien TV show V?
These films are more proof that kids are stupid and parents are too soft. If I had said I wanted to watch this, my dad would have kicked my balls off… through my mouth.
If you move your mouse cursor on the picture you can finger Zac!
The team name ‘Wildcats’ was inspired by Vanessa Hudgen’s kitty.
I like the picture because it allows me to fantasize they’re lying in a pool of their own blood. Lots of blood.
I’m pretty sure if Ashley Tisdale came up to me in a bar and told me she wanted to fuck, I’d tell her to only wait while I take four shots, as opposed to the usual 10.
Ohh, be nice.
I learned how to conquer my queer with a 2×4. Okay, it wasn’t “my” queer. He was more like the town homo. Nobody ever actually saw him sucking cock, but it was assumed. I feel justified anyway.
Any way we can merge this film with Repo! The Genetic Opera and harvest all of their organs?
Is there a kid who dropped out of school during his senior year because he was 21 and would have to pay to go to high school, so instead he drops out, gets his Good Enough Diploma and still hangs out in the smoking area every morning since he’s unemployed in this? if not, i’ve got a few songs i could pitch for this role, er roll. they’ve been in my head for years.
One more Zac Efron post and I’m going to cut out the middle man and just start refreshing the Cheetah Girls blog on disney.com
A billion dollars seems tame. You have to think of all the children plus their parents. Then factor in the gropers, fat people, MMORPGer’s – basically the whole pedophile community. This is gonna make Titanic look like a Paris Hilton film.
InkyPee-The Mighty Feklahr would like to waporize Zac Efron to the point where all of his ghey carbon ash would fit in a little glass vial.
A little glass vial?
Yes, a little glass vial.
Fek- why so vile?
It is imperative that we, as a nation, hold on to all manly movies like Terminator and Conan The Barbarian, so our future generation of men don’t grow up to be spineless pansy douchenozzles like Zac Efron and that one Spencer guy.
Vote Feklahr of the Regressive Party (against abortions, but FOR killing babies) in ’08!
Chino-BONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(sorry, I can’t treat you different just because you are a woma…oh, here’s a tissue…I’m sorry…yes we can cuddle…)
So, when Zac goes to the trendy Hollywood clubs to hang out with the celebs, do you think they let him socialize a bit? Or do they make him go take his position in the bathroom stall with the hole in it immediately?
This is my hell. My hell this is. It makes it all the more sad that I know Efron’s character is named Troy…because I’m married to a guy named Troy. And lo…I am ashamed.
Feel free to beat me senseless. I deserve it.
I typed Zac Efrom into the anagram generator and it replied, “You’re a faggot.”
Gah, Fek you, fuck, for reminding me of that horrible song.
That horrible song?
Yes, that horrible song, that swirls in my head until I take a nail gun and shoot it right out.
Shoot it right out?
AARRRRGHGHGHHGGHHGHHG!!
The real victims here are the boy’s fathers. They have to watch it at the theater, then again and again in their nightmares.
Zac’s character is named Troy because he likes to get penetrated by horses.
Zac Efron always remembers the day he spilled the paint…
And has oiled up young men prancing about his home? I can totally see that Mutt.
Zac’s character is named Troy as an homage to the gayest movie ever that isn’t 300 or Top Gun. Which would have been unwieldy names.
Heath Ledger didn’t live to see this. Lucky bastard.
*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH*
WHOA! Dor sho fucking gha! Did someone just request a beating?
WHA-KISH!
It’s Fekky time, baby!
I just noticed something…whose fucking legs are those coming out of the top right of that picture?? And where the fuck is their head???!!!
Fek! Harder! I can still see the damn banner pic. I need tears !! TEARS TO BLUR MY VISION!!
Any father who names his kid Corbin Bleu should not be surprised to see him end up in a movie like this.
Am I the only person that peruses this site that liked Troy? The movie, not the effeminate cashier at American Eagle.
WHO’S DICK IS THIS!?!?!
I’m not tryin to say he’s gay or anything, but his favorite Gladiator was Laser.
IT’S MINE!!! AAAHHHHH!
Introduce a minutia of S&M, and all hell breaks loose…
Smells like the gay up in here. Oh, it’s just Fek! What’s up, folks? Talkin’ about the new Zac Efron news?
I miss Ricky.
Jessica hates login…..brings up a good point. Where the fuck is the body that belongs to those legs? This movie may just have the perfect ending after all. Yup, me getting a handy by a stranger.
Howdy B.S. How life in Floweedah?
Rockin’ the shit, JHC. It’s like High School Musical Heaven down here.
Hell sounds kinda nice right about now.
It’s a shame what happened to the Rays last night. I blame Burnsy. He likes them, so they, like McCain, are gonna lose. Fuckin’ Burnsy…
BTK, do you know if The Trop had to add an extra 10 or 15 thousand extra handicap parking stalls for all the wrinklers?
J, I liked it ok.
Did somebody say “gay”?
When I have this window minimized, it says “HS MUSICAL PROJE,” which I keep mentally changing to “HS MUSICAL PROBE.” True story.
Or maybe “His Musical Probe.”
Lance, this is, in fact, our collective cry for help from further Zac Efron posts. The Mighty Feklahr seriously hopes you have something manly in store for us soon, before He deep throats another Mexican.
*slides Crappy and B.S. pissboots*
C-Dog, call me and we’ll go out for a night of strippers and kicking the shit out of bums. You know, real men kinda stuff.
Biquini, that piss boot should help you ease back into FDing shape.
Zac Effron may be the most beautiful thing that ever existed.
I want to punch him right in his magnificent bunghole.
I will be contributing money to the Zac Efron Astroglide fund by taking 4 girls under the age of 10 to see this movie this weekend.
Empty wallet :(
Danke, JHC. I’m a little rusty on the dick . . . jokes.
Jack!, how the fuck did you manage to further phag up a High School Musical post?
BONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or maybe “His Musical Probe.”
High School Musical 4: Band Camp
This is just some good old, family fun. I’m taking my youngest and the retard to see it tomorrow! This movie is the talk of Wasilla!
{Jams contents of piss boot straight the fuck down piss hole(face, not dick)}
Now, Alexander that flick was so homo erotic that watching it made my wrists go limp so fast the bone popped out like I was arm wrestling Jeff Goldblum.
I think you meant “BUNG”.
Mav-PLEASE don’t stop.
BTK, was He the only one “almost there” reading Chino’s post?
Why is it that the gay movies always have topless chicks?
300, Alexander, Brokeback, Showgirls…
Okay, those fucking legs are really freaking me the fuck out now!
Don’t stop what, Chewbacca?
I’ll help you finish, Fek. One of the little girls looks like a little boy.
Peet, I have horrible mental pictures of Efron skipping along with his dong talking to him and singing, HR Pufnstuf-style.
Jack!, jealousy.
Now how the hell do I change my avatar?
Guys, those legs belong to a dude.
Go to “Edit profile” in the top right of the page, B.S.
I didn’t see Alexander. My lust for Rosario Dawson wore off after she said in Clerks 2 that she wouldn’t go ass to mouth.
I’m kidding. I use that as fodder to this day.
Seriously though. Haven’t seen it.
Hey J, check it out. BumX! It’s like RainX, but if you put it on your bum stomping boots, piss, blood, shit and vomit beed up and roll right off!
I also put it on my plastic bed sheets.
I’m sure this movie will get a huge number of “older guys watching the movie by themselves” like Beverly Hills Chihuahua .
The way Zac has his arms raised in glee reinforces my belief that he always catches.
So now it’s wrong to masturbate to teenage girls and teenage guys that look like teenage girls? I thought it was like lesbian porn.
Sweet! Maybe they can sponsor your “In the field” reports? That way we get that shit for free.
Here’s your mystery leg owner:
[tinyurl.com]
It’s a link to photobucket, for those of you afraid of getting nailed by the techies at work.
oooh…unnn….UUUUUUHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Whew!
…
BRB…gonna have a smoke.
I haven’t been able to change my avi for a long time BS.
Hold on…
Sah-weet! Look out now, boys! It’s Efron and the Golden Flute! Together at last.
That is disgusting Mr. Feklahr! I didn’t know I was going to be a part of your little wookie nookie.
Awww. It just looks like a dildo in his hand.
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Yup…
When this post came up, I diverted my attention to Assley Titsdale and never looked back.
Didn’t you have other screennames, DM? Use one of those.
Disgusting?
…
THANKS!
Vinsanity, only YOU can end this pain.
Troy: hundreds of thousands of Greeks have plundered that. Coincidence?
Thank. Kahless.
New up.
I just have to say…I love you guys.
If a porn star ever named herself Assley Tisdale I would laugh so hard. Then I would masterbate.
My catholic high school was a lot like this. There were a lot of staged song and dance numbers. Well that is true if you replace “staged song and dance numbers” with vicious anal rape.
I’m confused.
Is this poster for or against gay marriage?