HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM NIC CAGE & SON
10.31.08
Ha, just kidding, it wasn’t Halloween. That’s just how Weston Coppola dresses. He’s in a band called “Eyes of Noctum,” you see. Also, can anyone tell what Nic Cage’s wedding ring is made out of? I think it might be bear tooth.
[via Bestweekever & Hollywoodupclose]
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wow
Metalocalypse?
Of course his name is Weston.
Noctum? Shit, I almost killed ‘em.
*sits in corner and plays with boogers*
In the Coppola family, babies are born seven days after watching a certain video. It’s all pretty painless as they crawl out of the television fully formed.
This is what happens to your kids when you don’t quash their dreams when they learn to talk.
Weston? Does Nic Cage have some sort of secret feud with the Hilton family?
Who’s his mom, Danni Filth?
*chodin returns from punpkin patch…dick is covered in pumpkin seed*
What!? Hehe…what’s up?
“Eyes of Noctum” is when you stretch your scrote over somebody’s whole face while they’re sleeping, right?
I’ll bet 2:1 odds that this band sounds like pre-cum. Takers?
Not too many people can pull off the pale, gaunt, looks dead image. I think Nic does it pretty well though.
Hey, Weston! Glen Danzing called.
He wants his ability to be completely out of touch with reality back.
I was in a band called Emissions of Nocturn.
They seem like a chipper little group. Wonder what kind of music they play? Jazz? Bubblegum pop? Folk? Maybe they’re a string quintet?
Eyes of Noctum anagrams to “cony emo fetus” Coincidence?
Yeah, probably.
Oh, and I forgot crunk. They could be a crunk dance troupe.
“Say whatever you want about my dad’s movies, but leave Edward Cullen alone!”
…I’ll play your “Eyes of Noctum” and double-tap my mana, okay, so that gives my dungeon troll a level 6 retardation, which then makes your “Lubricant From Tears” fireproof.
Fuck Mike, have any of you looked at the group picture on the left? Again, wow. Ten to one says at least one of them have a 20 sided die on them.
Nic Cage was in Leaving Las Vegas. Looks like he didn’t pull out soon enough…
Most guys in the old norwegian black metal burned down churches, i wonder if black metal bands from hollywood burn down churches of scientology.
XENU!!
I love my parents.
Fuckin’ chodin. Just like sex with my Mom, he beat me to the punch.
Banner pic:
Nic Cage looks like he just walked in on his wife sucking a rhinos dick.
“Weston, Weston! How many times has Brett Ratner tried to get you to come back to his hotel room with him?”
These guys totally get booed every November 1st.
Weston Coppola gets seasick from crowd surfing.
From left to right on the picture:
Lilith, Demonicus, KRAPULAX, Weston Cage Son Of The Bear, Selma Blair, Sad Bon Jovi and Boy Pussy
I didn’t know there was a new brand of eyeliner out. Noctum you say?
This band RULES [middle earth]!!!!!!!
Later that night, Nic Cage was seen approaching Alice Cooper and saying “Dude, what the fuck? I thought we were cool, man”.
If Nic Cage was my father, I think I’d rebel by being a good actor.
YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH ABOUT GLENN DANZIG!
They dedicate one of their song to Gary Gygax at every show.
Weston: So, when is Ghost Rider 2 coming out?
Cage: One of these days, I’ll get you to watch some of my other movies.
You wanna’ know how I know that Weston Coppola is hardcore?
Because he’s giving a “rock on” hand signal, you fucking retard, plus he’s dressed like the goddamn Crow! SUCK MY DICK SOCIETY!
You fuckers are all just jealous that you didn’t think of “chalkboard eraser” as your Halloween costume.
Nic should have Noctum the fuck out when he came home dressed like that.
“Eyes of Noctum” are what you get when somebody uses aerosol breath freshener as makeshift pepper spray on you.
These are the guys that He refused to hang out with in high school. Sure, they like playing Magic cards, but they also like sucking dick, listening to Dragonforce, and watching shitty anime.
If it wasn’t for bottom-
fuckersfeeders like this, the world may not have jenkem, though!ROFLKOTAL! They put the fat guys by the chick so their moobs would pale in comparison to her fat milk-silos!
Sorry, that’s “Eyes of Binactum” I was thinking about.
Seriously, you could shoot me in the chest with a shotgun, and I would still be able to kick this band’s ass.
Someone say shitty anime and death metal?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEVJaTEEsQs
It gets kind of old after about a minute, but the subtitles are great.
Everyone looks so hard in that group shot. There’s only one dude smiling…he’s probably the Skin Flute player.
Weston Coppola’s Match.com profile:
Likes: Death metal, eye makeup, strategy games.
Dislikes: The Hills, talking about dad’s movies, sunlight.
Leon, that vid…wow.
It’s a sad fucking state of affairs when the only chick in the band doesn’t even have the best hair.
Yeah, J! He noticed that, too!
…
GRRRR…JOHNNY UNITAS FLAT TOP!!!
Lil’ Wayne has the nickname “Lil’ Weezy”, this band’s nickname is Dethklok #4,267.
Look at that kid. No one Cage is losing all his hair.
If they were a father son band would they be called something like: The Forehead & Fuckup Extravaganza?
Uproxx needs edit buttons for stupid cunts like me.
I can’t tell if Nic is embarrassed, excited, scared, happy, or indifferent. *snaps fingers* AHA! THAT’S
I hear that “Forehead Movie Screen” is going to open.
HUH! Note to fellow drunkards, don’t hit the tab button then the enter button.
Now to finish my thought-
THAT’S why Nic is such a good actor! His style adapts to any role instantly.
Fuck Mike in his candycorn ass…
They’re actually a christian group that tours around the country, visiting elementary schools, telling about the dangers of premarital sex and drugs… underage drinking… and being fucking homos who play shitty music….
And it is pretty effective….
Boo!
Hmmm… Is this band a Christian band?
Let’s see… Christian bands suck.
Well, they fit the profile.
Wait a second! In the group photo, does the next-to-last one (Sad Bon Jovi) have sleeves made to look like he has tattoos?
Say whatever you assholes want, but Weston Coppola fucking killed it in ‘The Ring’.
Well done Weston…that’ll do pig, that’ll do.
It’s kind of like ‘Children Of Men’ meets ‘Evanescence’….
awww.. I suck….
hixey, the first step on the road to recovery is admitting there’s a problem…
*mouths the words “I belive in you” and signals jerk-off motion*
Don’t fuck with Weston.
He’ll tear you up, and drink your blood.
Then he’ll rape your blood.
If you were to ask each band member how many dicks they’ve sucked, the chick would have the lowest number.
*mouths the words “I fucking suck at spelling sometimes” and sits on thumb*
Actually, they’d all probably say, “including each others?”.
“Wait a second! In the group photo, does the next-to-last one (Sad Bon Jovi) have sleeves made to look like he has tattoos?”
No it’s sleeve made to look like my grandmother’s blouse…WITHOUT THE CUM STAINS!!!!
I actually used to be in “Eyes of Noctum”, but I gained some weight and couldn’t fit into my guyliner anymore.
Any idea where all the band members are from? I swear to JHC I went to high school with at least 3 of em.
Their metal-archives bio says that they are from HELL!
That’s true… but it’s Hell, Kansas… a small farming community… THAT’S FUCKING HARDCORE!
*goes and sits in the corner to work on step 2 on the road to recovery. Jacking off on grandma’s blouse and raping blood*
Step 3: Wear the blouse on halloween and pretend your a japanese add for Tide.
I saw “Eyes of Noctum” live once. I especially liked Weston’s rendition of “Daddy?! Dad!?! Daddy, where are…heh, daddy!?” as he squinted at the audience.
”Eyes of Noctum” is what happen when someone fart on you pillows. He have to be bare ass to work though…
Whats up wit Nic cage lookin so old. Is he lobbying for the role of Dr. Strange so he can make another crappy super hero movie.
I wish a bear would punch Nic Cage in the face then the circle would be complete.
We shouldnt blame the kid im sure we would be just like him if we came from Nic Cages nut sack.