A BRITNEY SPEARS BIOPIC
10.27.08
In the least surprising news ever, British director Phil Griffin is reportedly teaming up with Britney Spears to “re-enact her breakdown.”
A source says, “It’s the film everyone will be queuing to see. It will be dark and gritty – charting Britney’s devastating falls including her head-shaving ordeal and her traumatic custody battle for her two children.
“Let’s just say, it will not be for the faint-hearted.
“But it will also show the highs along her incredible life journey.” [Showbiz Spy]
Mark my words, this will never make it to theaters. Know what this idea reminds me of? The Anna Nicole biopic. Remember that? It was big news for a while, it was supposed to come out August 30th. No one’s heard anything about it in months. By the time they finished the movie, no one gave a shit about Anna Nicole anymore. In fact, you’re probably reading this going “Anna who?” It turns out, rednecks who lose their kids aren’t that dramatic of a story. If you want to see it happen you can probably just open your blinds.
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The part of Britney Spears will be played by Vin Diesel….
And voiced by the retarded monkey from Speed Racer…..
It turns out, rednecks who lose their kids aren’t that dramatic of a story. If you want to see it happen you can probably just open your blinds.
Whatev! VOID IN IOWA!
State custody is not “losing” your kids, BTW…
I don’t know who Angela Lola Luv is, but I feel compelled to tell everyone that I like her boobs.
At least Uproxx did that right.
On topic, not to wander too far back to JHC’s roots here, but I’d fuck Britney again. I’m easy, what do you want from me?
Didn’t South Park cover this adequately?
This sounds like perfect fodder for Lifetime’s movie network.
Remmeber way back when Joan Rivers husband killed himself (and no..I’m not joking the dude took the honroable way out and off’d himself). She and her harpy clone of a daughter made a movie about all the suffering THEY went through and played themselves in it. Nope I’m not making that up either.
@ Stone
“mrrrph! Hmmphh rmmmmff glargle!”
I want to see Sacha Baron Cohen as Adnan Ghalil or whatever his name was.
The only way I will watch this movie is if they secretly add a laugh track to the final cut.
And Zac Efron as PopoZao himself.
I’m too lazy to read the story, but I think Angela Lola Luv might be a cartoon… Or at least her boobs are… I think all fake boobs should be cartoon boobs….
It doesn’t look like they plan on it being in theaters. It looks like they think I’m gonna que it in bittorrent though.
Seriously, thanks for letting me know there was a new post.
I was back in the creepy kids thread spouting gold.
Fuck you guys.
I’m out.
Before this movie gets made we need to give it a proper ending,
BTK gangfuck team, UNITE!!
{grabs 10 inchreverse strap-on, chain saw, and Elmer’s Glue, jumps out 2nd story window onto van in driveway}
Mark Wahlberg should play K-Fed.
Mr. Bill should play Sean Preston.
The Mighty Feklahr thinks we could make a good movie if we gave Anderson Silva some PCP and locked him in the octagon with Britney Spears. It would be like a brutally honest Three Stooges routine.
Hey Fek, when did you change the spelling of your name?
BS-When His account got “Uproxxed”. :(
So what is this shit about Vegas?
They should get Angela Lona Luv boobs to play Jamie Lynn… then I won’t feel as bad about my fantasies… and they might actually be hot…..
Ahhhh. Say no more.
GODDAMMIT!!!
B.S. can change his avi, but I can’t change mine?! STILL?!
In other news, Rock Strongo is in talks to do a biopic of the homeless guy that used to live in his hometown, with a dramatic ending the day he drank antifreeze. Gary Busey is set to star
Overheard in th ebrainstorming session of the Britney biopic:
“… so I said, ‘act like a loon’ and she jumped up on the car hood and proceeded to shit on the windshield. “
They should just film this as a documentary. Put her on set and tell her it’s a story about her life, then keep making changes until she goes nuts again. I might pay* to see that.
*my cable/internet bill
She dies in the end, right?
“Hey ya’ll, can I be, like a Highlander or somethin? There kin be only one, ya’ll!”
Yikes, who will they get to play me as her distant lover before she got fat?
I’d rather watch an Aries Spears biopic.
One of the biggest reasons i quit posting over on WWTDD is because Britney didn’t off herself like i was screaming for and i had to slowly back away until everyone forgot i had even said anything. that, and it’s blocked here at work too.
As long as skin-head Britney curb stomps someone I’ll watch it.
Vern Troyer will be playing the role of her snatch.
Vince, any chance you could hook up a brotha and change the link in the About Filmdrunk for comment nomination. I don’t like to be a chore, but your Mom likes it when I remind her of you…
Madonna will play Britney and Britney will play Jamie Lynn. As for their mother, Lynn? Frank Stallone.
Yeah, what an incredible story. I like to call this story ” In Texas”.
You guessed it: Frank Stallone! Nice one, Donkey.
K Fed will be played by that guy from double dragon
Now if you can manage to find roles for Winehouse, Denise Richards and Paris, you can have the All-Star Ho-Bag Hoe-down.
Britney’s devastating falls including her head-shaving ordeal…
Right this minute, there’s a kid in St. Jude’s doing a dismissive wanking motion.
*winks at BS*
New up, duodenums!
I’d rather see an Obama biopic entitled Spears.
*lights cross*
woo hooo!! Lazytown!
New up, feline fuckers.
When asked if she would be ok with being in a biopic, Britney answered “Ok, but the guy needs to be super-hot and the girl had better not be more attractive than me.”
Studio execs said it’d be a restarting of the Britney franchise and the movie would be much darker, kind of like Batman.
Also, she’d fight crime and have blow up shit, like Batman.