4 PEOPLE STABBED AT SAW V SCREENING
10.28.08
Saw V director David Hackl shows his favorite doll how he kissed his invisible prom date.
In shocking news you’ll never believe (SNYNB), people who like torture porn may share a predilection for violence.
Four men suffered neck wounds and four others were arrested after a wild altercation early Saturday morning at a Times Square movie theater packed with young people.
The chaotic scene in and around the AMC Empire 25 on West 42nd Street began as hundreds came and went from ” Saw V,” which the theater was showing on five screens with starting times spaced a half-hour apart.
A fight broke out in the theater just before 1 a.m., and a large number of people scattered, a police source said.
A short time later, two 22-year-old men and a 25-year-old man were stabbed or cut on the back of the neck at the corner of 42nd Street and Broadway, about a half-block from the theater, police said. The 25-year-old man suffered the most serious injury. None of the injuries was considered life-threatening, authorities said. Police said it was believed that all of those involved had been at the theater. [Newsday via RoboPanda]
Wait, so they only hurt other Saw fans, right? Phew. Now you know why we send them to special schools. In order to deal with this problem, I say we just put locks on the theater doors, and maybe do a promotional push. Say, a Machetes ‘n’ PCP night. And thus, one hand washes the other.
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This was in NYC, yes? So the theater could’ve been playing Mary Poppins on 5 screens and the likelihood of someone getting accosted a half a block away at 1 a.m. would still be pretty high, yeah?
Anybody else think Jigsaw might be Kevin McAllister from Home Alone?
Unreported: Earlier in the day, 2000 people were accosted by a “Naked Cowboy” only yards from this theater. Saw V must be the devil’s movie.
I say if only 4 people got stabbed for seeing Saw V, then someone isn’t applying themselves enough.
After the stabbing, I appeared on the movie screen and told them why they deserved it.
“So this chick is fighting me right? I grab the back of her head and lean in real close, then shen she’s not expecting it, I throw her the shocker! They never see it coming.”
Biggest suprise of the day? The stabbings were not self-inflicted!
Banner Pic: David Hackl, amateur magician, trying to make himself dissapear
This is the one time the audience should’ve listened to the black people talking in the theater. “Don’t go that way! No, don’t look behind the concession stand! Ah, shit bitch, you know that mo fo’s gotta knife! AAGH!”
Haha. Just kidding. Black people did this.
Shit gets personal when they run out of Junior Mints®.
If Jigsaw doesn’t ride his tricycle through an old abandoned house/soap factory and crash it into a stack of old Reader’s Digests, then this movie is DEAD2Him!
If you are taking a knife to a movie for any other reason than abducting children, then you have your priorities and goals in life really fucked up, man.
Are they sure that the stabbees hadn’t just left HSM3? i stabbed a few of those kids myself over the weekend.
I am Jigsaw’s kidneys.
Are you sure this wasn’t BET’s Hip Hop Award show?
Maybe even the Source Awards?
Cops were initially giving high fives to the suspects until they realized they weren’t talking about “stabbing” in the metaphorical sexual sense
Did they use knives?
It wasn’t Brett Ratner stabbing people in the neck to check for an Adam’s Apple?
So the trap was you either had to sit through the movie or be stabbed to escape? And only 4 people chose correctly?
“machetes ‘n PCP night’
Sounds like the time I organized Ecstasy ‘n Viagra night at the local old folks home… only more people died
Pauly-they used shards of their shattered aspirations.
That last one was a trick question. We all know he doesn’t check.
I saw that coming …that is to say I’d seen it coming, seen saw it
Does Jigsaw only cut black people into pieces?
If it was a ‘Saw’ movie, I’m positive that the victims were stabbed with a KFC spork.
Alternate headline – ‘Stupid ass white kids’.
So this movie’s about an Islamic albino doll?
shakes head at JHC’s subtlety.
I bit the last person who told me they had seen Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
How the fuck does Jigsaw keep getting people into the places where he kills them? I’ve never seen a Saw movie. Does he use the same tactic the police use for people with outstanding warrants?
“Congratulations!! You have unclaimed personal property at such and such address.”
Jesus, they come out of hiding faster than when the welfare checks are mailed.
JHC – it’s simple – he hangs a sign out front of the warehouse with one word on it – ‘TITS’.
Takes 47 seconds to fill the place.
The chaotic scene in and around the AMC Empire 25 on West 42nd Street began as hundreds came and went from ” Saw V,” which the theater was showing on five screens with starting times spaced a half-hour apart.
Well there’s your problem right there. You have people who lasted an hour in arguing the finer points of how much it sucked with people who left after 30 minutes pissing off the people who are early and whose shows are about to start.
The stabbing was preceeded by a heated argument over whether the Jigsaw was originally modeled after Cousin Leo from Seinfeld or Michael Jackson’s albino balls
In unrelated news, 934 cases of spontaneous jazz hands were reported within hours of the premier of High School Musical 3.
Jigsaw employs Acorn to pick up Republican voters.
That’s a pretty sound plan Stone.
I don’t get scared by “scary” movies. You sit me down in front of a television showing anything MTV plays, and I weep for America’s future.
Jigsaw’s older brother is a musician. Bandsaw.
Jigsaw’s sister works at a stripclub- Tablesaw.
Jigsaw’s queer brother works the bathrooms at nightclubs- Holesaw.
Jigsaw’s Southern Cousin on his father’s side that hunts- Bowsaw
Jigsaw’s Nephew that writes a movie blog- Hacksaw
Jigsaw’s favorite movie is Choke – No one Saw
Jigsaw’s optometrist cousin — Seesaw.
Jigsaw’s mother whom helps people with the loss of their family members to Jigsaw’s torture- Coping saw
Jigsaw’s illegitimate son is blind but has a terrific sense of humor – Seesaw
In your face, Burnsy!
Jigsaw’s great grandfather was really into mission-style furniture – Quartersaw
Jigsaw’s uncle surprises people with buckets full of confetti – Ripsaw.
Kahless All Mighty! There is a new post up about porn, and where does He find you queers?
Jigsaw’s error-prone red headed stepchild? Might-Err Saw!
Jigsaw’s Father runs a forestry business- Chainsaw
I’d rather be stabbed in the ass in front of a gay bar called Manhole than be in the news for being stabbed after seeing Saw V.
Jigsaw’s brother in Gay porn: Bone Saw