(Fictional man added for fictional scale)
The Transformers World 2005 message board (always an accurate source of information, I’m sure) has learned that Transformers 2 will have a character called Devastator, who will be made of seven giant transformers who combine to create an even more gianter transformer. Additional details:
- Seven construction vehicles merge to form Devastator
- Devastator has lots of upper body strength, like a gorilla
- Not just green, some of the vehicles are red and yellow
You know how Devastator got so strong don’t you? Robot pull-ups.
Let’s go now, concentrate on squeezing your lat-bots together. Oh yeah, that’s perfect bro, you’re looking so huge. Feel the burn all the way up your deltdroids. Oh my God, bro, you’re an animal! You’re a beast, you’re a f-ckin chiseled monster, bro, you’re gonna pound so much robo-vag. Let’s go now! Five more, you got this! Now squeeeeeeze! Finish strong you pussy!
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I need a little dude next to my dick to make it look huge.
Great, as if Bay hasn’t done enough already. The first Transformers movie features a robot peeing on somebody, now we get to look forward to one that’s constantly taking dumps.
Lince, from the looks of that picture, his delts are pretty tired.
Vince, can you spot me when I beat my dick?
Any chance we’ll actually be able to SEE any of the transformers in this one or will they all be moving so fucking fast that all we’ll be able to make out is a shiny, metallic blur?
Also, GET OFF MY LAWN!!
Wasn’t the tank named Devastator in the first movie?
Why not just throw in the Dinobots to secure the “complete piece of shit” status?
True Story: On the way back from Las Vegas, my buddy The Other lost his shit, literally, about 5 minutes from Baker, with five dudes in the cab. His Dodge crew cab was forever after, “the dump truck”.
The Transformers World 2005 message board is three years old…just you know, f.y.i. you gays.
Alright suckas? Who’s willing to share their personal best for FULLY transforming Metroplex from city to robot and back to city? Mine was about 7 minutes.
Pauly, why yo av gotta make me cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
Man, that Will Smiff is getting ALL the roles these days!
Yesterday on the freeway, I thought I saw a bunch of vehicles combining to create Devastator, but turns out it was just some 18-wheeler that cut a school bus full of kids in half.
Is someone going to wake all the Mexicans before Devastator starts transforming?
Bananatronic instantly regrets his choice in alternate form.
Burnsy, I can’t tell you whyyyyyyyyyyyyy
The only reason I can think that it would be important to point out that he has incredible upper-body strength is that Michael Bay is planning to write a robot arm-wrestling tournament into the script.
Donk, Over the Bot?
I was thinking Robo the Top, Pauly
Gee, I might have put Megan Fox there to give fictional scale, but hey Vince, you go ahead and blaze your own trail.
Gorrilabot voiced by Fiddy Cent
I guess Shia won’t be the only Le’Buff in this movie, eh?
1. Bay is a fucktard re re breeding skagg
2. NOTHING Cat makes is Kawasaki Green. (i.e. Kawasaki heavy industries)
3. This images1.fotosik.pl/104/7518cbe17fa6bb3fmed.jpg is how goddam huge these things really are. (Fuck tiny URL)
By the way, I have something that needs to more than meet Megan Fox’s eye.
If I were a Transformer, I’d be Dildobot…and inevitably have to protect the ghost of Liberace.
I’d be the ice cream truck, Pedobot.
In next year’s Transformers construction site toyline, a taurine narcoleptic named Bulldozer.
Or the Miata, Homocus!
Every time my truck shakes and acts like it’s about to die, I always shout outloud, “Not right now Cassettestereobot!”.
Chicks fucking love that shit.
Or the slammed ’64 Implalla rollin on 13″ 110 spoke triple gold Daytons, Gangbang.
I’d be the UPS van recon-bot, Brown-Eye.
Or the 96 civic with, the hood painted black, the gigantic rear wing and the coffee can exhaust, Douchenozzle.
Spike Lee had already dialed Al Sharpton when he realized the new construction bot’s name was Digger.
The Original Devastator: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU14VqcPIDo
How about the 94 Ford LTD with the wood panel sides, Sockermom?
I’d be a 1948 Woodie Side Paneled Ford Wagon. Stoned-buggy.
That bottom dump truck is claiming 502;
Yeah that’s right motherfuckers! 502, wadyap? Fuck Lexington!
97 Purple 2 door Neon that looks like a weeble wobble in robot form, Phatchik?
I’d be a Honda CRX and transform into Ireallyfuckin’hopenobodyseesmeinthis-bot.
If the little scale dude walked between that bot legs it would be just like me putting in in my whorex.
A Kawasaki ZX-14 that turns into a pimp, Organ Donor.
*Winks at C-Dog*
92 Formula Firebird with a doughnut spare on the front, Beatnik?
^I went all re re there didn’t I.
To many carbs for lucnch… must take… nap…
{winks back at Donk in commpliance with rule #3 of the CJC}
A Chevy that transforms in a lazy Mexican robot, No Va.
U WANT PAYLODE WEAR??!?@?!?!@?
NO MOAR DIRT IZ FULL
I CAN HAZ RLY BIG CHEEZBURGR
Sorry, started doing LOLCats again….
Fuckin A Donk! I was workin on a Nova joke.
Oh, and the 1000mi breakin is finally done on my ZX. I will be out in the desert on Tehachapi Willow Springs Road this Saturday testing if the speed limiter really does cut out at 185mph.
You come fish with Dinobots, Grimlock?
Please Snarl, can’t you comprehend that I have more urgent matters weighing on my mind?
But Dinobots always to fish together!
C-Dog, can I have your stereo if something happens?
Omega Supreme would kick this poser’s ass.
My bumper sticker says; “My other car runs on energon”
Sure, but aulyP called dibs on my booze.
MMMMM hmmmm!
Jack, I want that bumper sticker.
Ollie, ollie, DURSTING Free!!
Man, I can’t find you guys anywhere! You fuckers are good at this game.
{Jumps onto tumbleweed, get three pumps in, yells}
COWABUNGA!!!
{jumps out open window}
*Donk peeks out from underneath gigantic traffic cone*
tee hee, he’ll never find me here
Why would outter space robots change into vehicles made for people on a planet not their own again? I mean, do they get to choose what they change into or is it like Indians naming their children where it’s just the first thing they see.