TRAILER FOR ‘BRONSON’
09.04.08Rarely pictured without his giant front-wheeled bicycle
As most of you know, Death Wish actor Charles Bronson is my second favorite Bronson, behind Pinchot. Less well known is that Charles Bronson is also a British prisoner, who named himself after the Death Wish actor. He’s been incarcerated since 1974, when he was jailed for stealing, according to the website for the upcoming film about his life, 26 pounds ($43).
Bronson’s sentence has been repeatedly extended and he has spent only three months out of custody. He has served 28 years of his time in prison in solitary confinement due to a number of hostage situations, rooftop protests, repeated attacks on prison staff and on other inmates. His dangerous behaviour has meant that he has spent time in over 120 different prisons. In 2000, he received a discretionary life sentence (with a three year tariff) for a hostage-taking incident. [Wikipedia]
From what I gather, this guy is kind of like the U.K.’s answer to Chopper – the kind of violent criminal children can look up to. He’s notorious for beating his mother to death with a tire iron, or as it’s known across the pond, “being cheeky.”
Slightly NWS on account of some split-second boobage around the 15-second mark


What kind of candles do you blow out to make a death wish?
Bronson? Isn’t that when a chick with big boobs hits you with them on the side of your head repeatedly? Oh wait, that’s a Bronsky. Sorry.
Bronson?! Cheeky bastard!
All that time in prison should have taught him how to do the splits.
So this guy keeps fucking things up resulting in extended time in prison? He is the Gilligan of the British criminal justice system.
auly D,
you know what you gotta blow to make a death wish…
This movie is apparently a metaphorical representation of Jennifer Aniston’s womb
He’s a real life version of Abobo
auly D,
in all seriousness, this dude looks like you.
If this guy tells you to harden the fuck up, he means your cock, and right fucking now.
Not to be confused with Ronson, which is about Lindsay Lohan licking a 10-year old boy’s butthole for two hours.
Hey, as long as they don’t glamorize being a hardened criminal.
…you have to blow a dick with AIDS?
TW, let me crack your wishbone in half to see hwo gets the bigger piece.
I went to jail once…I mean, I woke up in jail once. Yeah, it was cool and all, but I was way too much of a pussy to start tacking on the years.
Vince, that was a really funny photo caption. I love to bust on you but fair is fair.
If I was serving life in prison, I’d change my legal name to Has Sharp Teeth In Asshole.
It’s Armenian.
Porn version will be called Bra’n'sin.
This guy personifies the phrase “in for a penny, in for a pound.”
“…split-second boobage around the 15-second mark”
If I could somehow loop that clip 6,000 times, I could maybe beat off here at work. Haha, I’m just kidding! I’ll beat off anyway!
Chode, you’d probably want to file your teeth to sharp points as well. Unless you like that kind of thing.
If I ever go to prison, I’ll try to just enjoy the sex. I mean, it’s gonna happen anyway, so I may as well try for a reach around, right?
If I ever went to prison, I’d just try to blend in with the guards.
Alternate title: Cirque du Solitarie
Because of the gay papier mache masks. Oh fuck you I’ve been away….
The good thing about prison is that someone will always wash your back if you don’t have a loofah.
Bronson looks like a cross between Brock Lesnar and Snoppy as the Red Baron.
That’s a great attitude JHC, and you do look adorable in stripes.
My favorite thing about prison: Back rubs
For some reason, I imagine that British prisons are always breaking out in songs.
His favorite colour is angry.
Kavin Bacon fuckin’ hates Snoppy
What kind of prisons make the men wear pasties btk?
Ohhh, a common criminal who makes bad choices and suffers the consequences. Boring. Wait, did you say he has a handlebar mustache? You’ve got your green light.
I thought there was only lubeage in jail.
A Clockwork Bronson?
Bronson uses blood for lube. No, yours.
Eibz, you read my mind. NOW STOP!
Not to be confused with Rednecks fucking each other in chicken coups and drinking moonshine while listening to country music stars from the late 70′s and 80′s- Branson opens Spring of ’09.
Alternatively, I have spent 8 years of my time in marital prison in solitary confinement due to hating the bitch.
The best advice I ever got about prison was to immediately get a bulls-eye tatoo on your lower back. At least that way, you won’t have to shit out the jizz.
I’d rather see the story of the British guy who changed his name to Treat Williams and now can’t be taken seriously, no matter how many people he beats up.
Bronson is Sean Faris’ stunt double for Forever Strong.
Dr Steve sez: Bronson looks like a cross between Brock Lesnar and Snoppy as the Red Baron.
I would have gone with Ken Shamrock and Freddie Mercury personally, but it’s really saying the same thing: equal parts ultimate fighter and swishy foreigner with a bad moustache.
This would be better than a bullseye tattoo.
http://images.google.com/images?q=most%20popular%20guy%20in%20prison&ie=UTF-8&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&sa=N&tab=wi
New Up
Never Pauly!
is this the guy from judas priest?
Am I crazy here or does something about this trailer make everyone think of Napoleon Dynamite? I’m not being funny, here, I really see something.
Is this how Diablo Cody would write a prison movie? It’s like cutesy rape scenes, silly facial hair and ironic muscle tone.