09.30.08 THEES MOVIE LOOKS FAWKEN TERRIBLE

What thee fawk ees supereemposed?

Adam Sandler doesn’t make movies for critics. He makes movies so Rob Schneider can work.

Hey Adam! Got a great plot for ya;
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Any grown man that spends time with children that he did not spawn is a pedophile.

You know what’s cute? A kid with a boner.

The Mighty Feklahr feels Hollywood is trying to disavow the idea that mommy’s new boyfriend comes in to read you a story, but really ends up showing you his dick. And sticking it in you.

Vince, just for clarity, please rank the following plot devices in the order of most overused to least:

1. Children’s stories come true
2. Women working in an position they’re not qualified for and falling in love with their attractive boss
3. The dichotomy of a character with multiple personalities
4. Tentacle porn

Pictured: The New Adam Sandler Livedoll

A lazy-eyed, seizure-prone, limping kid would be awesome!

*adds that to list*

I’ve got a bedtime story for you: Once upon a time there were two whiney brats who had better shut the fuck up and go to sleep otherwise i’m going to nail them to the fucking floor. The end.

Re: Stinky’s suggestion on giving up one of my kids . . .

If it’ll stop Madonna from acting and directing, I’ll talk to my wife tonight.

They should get a harelipped, cross-eyed hemophiliac kid to act alongside Adam Sandler. If you can’t laugh at that combination then you, my friend, have something wrong with you.

I believe common people call it “a soul”.

It’s easy to make fun of Sandler because he makes bad movies, but he’s also Jewish.

They should get a harelipped, cross-eyed hemophiliac kid to act alongside Adam Sandler.

keyHo: as soon as our other star is done campaigning for his Mom, we’ll start filming.

I’d fuck Adam Sandler before I’d fuck Kirsten Dunst.

If it weren’t for Madonna, I wouldn’t know that John McCain is the same as Hitler… and try to vote for him twice.

I hope this movie has Rob Schneider in it.

If it does well, maybe he won’t have to sleep on my couch any more.

This just goes to show that no matter how vulgar the shit you’ve said in the past was, it’s never too late to sell out.

Consider Pauly, Donk and I: RICH. AS. FUCK.

The last time Adam Sandler made me laugh, I opened his CD case and found a slice of bologna I had stashed a week before.

The last time Adam Sandler made me laugh was when I heard he was trying to become a dramatic actor.

Adam Sandler made me laugh in high school. Then again; I thought M. Night Shyamalan was a really great director then too.

The last time Adam Sandler made me laugh, my Lunchable was laced with crack cocaine.

Adam Sandler reminds me of that time in college when Dustin Diamond came to our campus to do his stand-up and this one guy we knew went to see him and we never talked to him again.

Adam Sandler once made me laugh, but that was a long time ago…

*swipes bangs to side of face*

…before I knew that laughing was different from crying.

My bedtime stories read like a Penthouse Forum letter.