There was a time when I can remember listening to an Adam Sandler album and literally thinking to myself “This is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”  These days, every movie he’s in makes $100 million dollars and his choice of projects seems driven by the desire to see just how shitty an idea has to be for it not to be a huge success.

Here’s to hoping Bedtime Stories (new trailer after the jump) is finally the one. It’s directed by the worst director in Hollywood (Adam Shankman), centers around the world’s most overused plot device (the kids’ stories come true!), and co-stars some kid with a lisp.  Ugggghhhh. Why do people think that’s cute?  Would it be cute if he walked with a limp or had a lazy eye or the occasional siezure?  A misshapen skull?  God damn man, they’re like spiders on my pillow.