SOMEONE CALL CHRIS HANSEN
09.29.08
This picture came to my attention recently, and, well, it pretty much speaks for itself. Sometimes I wonder if things like this are the result of not enough people having as sick and juvenile a mind as me or of too many people having as sick and juvenile a mind as me.
[via Failblog - Thanks to the Mighty Feklahr for the tip. He's a wonderful human being. Er, Klingon.]
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Do they have infant Predator hands?
Do they have hot babe that wants to get drunk and fuck me Predator hands?
I thought not.
Gee, Lince, you’re welcome!
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Michael Jackson really needs to lay of the surgery.
Ridged for little Timmy’s pleasure.
If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit!
Fuck this; tell me when the Rambo speculum comes out.
If the glove doesn’t fit, try a little spit.
I have a cousin who’s really into CSI and 80s vampire movies so I bought her The Lost Boys Rape Kit.
I’ve seen them before… They are part of a long line from Blammo Toys… Along with their “Incredible Shrinking Double Homicide Gloves” they also have Dark Alley Rapist Gloves which are clearly Jacktion’s favorite….
See that? He is a wonderful huma…DOR SHO GHA!
Any word yet on when they’re coming out with the Beastiality Predator Gloves?
What?
They’re not for me! Pervs.
This isn’t nearly as confusing as the ‘Commando’ underwear I bought. I opened up the package and it was empty.
**Going old school**
Mekka Lekka Hi, Mekka Hinee Ho – Jambi’s new hand arrived! Hey, cool, Child Predator!
These would go great with my ‘Lolita’ binoculars!
A word of advice. Typically kids will run from you if you are wearing these gloves. Especially if you accessorize it with the matching mask and helmet.
That’s why I always find it handy to carry lollipops. Because kids love lollipops.
I prefer my “Mirrors” shoes.
If you like these gloves, you should try the children’s Alien Tongue.
I understand these Child Predator Gloves make handing out communion wafers easier.
Someone in their product research department needs to explain to me how to pick up a fresh-baked brownie with those things.
Stoney, if He was at work today, that communion blip may have got Him hustla’d.
These would be great to keep in my ‘Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets’ safe but I don’t have any room in there. I guess I could finally get around to transferring all of those old VHS tapes to DVDs, but having that stuff on digital media just makes me uneasy.
I’m wiff Fek on that one. And I am at work. Good thing my boss is in a meeting.
Oh, did I mention that safe is ‘Fireproof’?
These go well with the Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Ballgag.
Don’t they have shelves at that store? Why’s everything on the floor? Those hands would go great with my Fred Flintstone feet.
Burnsy, let’s talk about your av and all the ways it is creeping me out man.
Fuck Oliver!
New Up!
My hands don’t look anything like that.
You know what they say about tiny hands wrapped around a sausage – it makes the sausage look huge.
LOLACAUST!