SHATNER CALLS JJ ABRAMS A LIAR
09.19.08
(Earth added for scale)
A while ago, JJ Abrams explained that the reason Shatner wouldn’t be in his new Star Trek movie was that for one thing, Shatner wouldn’t settle for a small cameo, and for another, his character had died in a previous movie. Yesterday, Shatner responded via YouTube (video after jump). Humble as always, Shatner claims he was never asked to do a cameo. He goes on to say he wouldn’t have done one anyway. Then, he proceeds to tell JJ Abrams how simple it would be to bring Captain Kirk back from the dead.
I brought him back to life in one of my books, very easily. You know the machine where you suck in the air with the molecules? [something about hovering, and fiddling with levers] …We’ve got DNA of dinosaurs 160 million years old we trying to right now with our primitive technology in 2008, we’re trying to reassemble the DNA of an 160 million year old being, and we think we can do it.
I’m not sure what’s sadder, Shatner taking 100% credit for the work of people who write Star Trek books that he gets to put his name on, Shatner thinking Jurassic Park is real, or Shatner comparing himself to 160 million year-old-dinosaurs. Personally, I could give a shit whether Shatner is in the Star Trek movie. What I’d really like to see is Thunderdome: Shatner vs. the Travelocity Gnome. I doubt Shatner has an answer for the gnome’s reach advantage.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Jurassic-park-busey-sax-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/Xena-boobs-love-the-smell-150x150.jpg)
The only thing sadder than this is Frank Caliendo’s impression of Shatner in the Dish TV commercials.
The only thing sadder than this is the price I just paid for a 3 star hotel room in Chicago.
Shatner should fight Gay Gay… to the death!
Wait until Shatner releases the snuff film of his wife in the pool.
Or the one with him and that dinosaur. Poor little Bronto.
Shatner misunderstood the offer. JJ Abrams wanted him to cover “Word Up” by Cameo for the soundtrack.
Shatner claims he was never asked to do a cameo. He goes on to say he wouldn’t have done one anyway.
He then went on to say that he was forming his own club and JJ Abrahms couldn’t join. And that’s too bad too because his club is going to be the coolest club in the whole wide world.
I can’t believe we have the exact same pictures hanging on our walls.
GOD DAMNIT I DID NOT NEED WORD UP IN MY HEAD ALL DAY!!!!!
*writhes on floor with giant red plastic cod piece.
GAY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does anybody remember when Shatner was still relevant? If so, could you please explain to me how you’ve managed to elude the sandmen for so long?
Donkey: TJ Hooker Season 2 episode 12. RIP Billy Shat.
“and I think it’s going to be…a long, long time…’til touch-down brings me…..back again to find I’m not the man they think I am back home… oh, no, no no…I’m a ROCKET, MAN!”
You have a cod piece? Wow, you learn so much on Film Drunk.
*turns to camera, smiling*
Next Generation owns the original Star Trek.
Ha! Trick question, assholes! Shatner was never relevant.
“The only thing sadder than this is Frank Caliendo’s impression of Shatner in the Dish TV commercials.”
What about puppies with cancer?
Irrelevant never forgets Donk.
Puppies with cancer are fun for blind kids.
why does Frank Caliendo exist? Who finds this shit amusing? Rich Little?
Travelocity Gnome: I’ve come to enforce the guarantee, bitch.
William Shatner: No, not the hair. Not. The. Hair.
I’d like Shatner and Gary Busey locked in a room together
I meant to say I’d like to see, saying I’d like makes it sound very gay and it’s totally not.
I think Busey would emerge, wearing Shatner skin like a cape
Wow. I swear it’s like JHC and I are brothers from other mothers. TNG4LIFE Niggaz!
i CAN’T BELIEVE jj abrams wouldn’t CAST A thespian like WILLIAM SHATNER.
You see Eib, when Louie Anderson and Anne Heche love each other very much, they have mommy and daddy time. And then the stork brings a wonderful baby who is amusing for about 10 minutes…
Did anyone else think for a minute that he was going to make a pass at his daughter?
Man, I thought up some great nerdy ass muthafucking Star Trek joke the other day, and now I can’t think of it!
GODDAMNEDSONOFABITCHINGCOCKSUCKINGMOTHERFUCKER!!!! Fuckin Uffy has Megan Fox’s GQ photoshoot video this morning and we’ve gotta look at this? What the fuck Vance?
Shatner’s acting is so bad, he’d be cast in the engine room as one of the fuckwits that looks at a board full of flashing LEDs while pretending to write on a clipboard, on TNG.
J-Like Geordi?
We had that here yesterday, home cookin’. Simmahdownnow….
Hmmm…The Mighty Feklahr supposes He could try getting His Geordi/Wesley Crusher/NAMBLA routine going…
Shatner is getting a little long in the tooth. Wasn’t his first Enterprise controlled by the ENIAC?
Worse. They wouldn’t even give him a banana hair clip, err, 80′s sunglasses to wear, Fek. Matter of fact, there probably wouldn’t even be any paper on the clipboard.
I love TNG
Levar Burton is totally an Oreo.
Then there’s Worf, brutha be snakin’ white women!
MIZ, Sweet obscure Penn reference. Quakers!
The Mighty Feklahr guesses Geordi wrote a sub-routine in the holodeck for the Dr. Leah Brahams program to include “anal”. (On him.)
New Up!
New up!
Levar Burton is totally an Oreo.
But you don’t have to take my word for it…
No J. We had Megan Fox’s audition tape in which she was fully clothed and spoke. In this one she’s wearing almost nothing and keeps her fuckin mouth shut. So you can see why this one is infinitely better.
Sorry my friend. I didn’t watch it thinking it to be the same thing. Won’t happen again, I promise.
Your mistake is forgiven. This time. Now go watch the GQ vid.
George Takei knocked up the Shat who was never able to regain his womanly figure