REAL LIFE ARI SIGNS REAL LIFE VINCE
09.25.08
Welcome to Xanadouche
It’s fairly well known that Jeremy Piven’s Entourage character, Ari Gold, is based on Entourage exec producer Mark Wahlberg’s real-life agent, Ari Emanuel. In a move many are calling “totally meta”, Emanuel’s agency just signed Adrian Grenier, the actor who plays Vince on the show and whose character is based on Wahlberg.
Reached for comment, Brett Ratner said “Got Milf? Let’s hug it out, bitch!” and laughed like an idiot.
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Whoa there, big fella. Quick on the draw with these new posts today.
Real life me still thinks that fake life Drama, Turtle and E are the worst characters ever written and are played by the real life worst actors ever.
That’s freaky man. it’s like the time i was playing bass for Days of the New, but Travis Meeks didn’t give me any credit, so i went on to form Tantric with the other guys Travis pissed off and then they ended up doing the same thing to me. Ok, it’s nothing like that, i just wanted to brag a little.
There is just nothing non-forshaktastic about that pic.
Kurgan, call me.
Kurgan, seriously? Or is that story like how I just signed Adrienne Grenier to play one of the side characters in the Atari Trilogy?
Chino, i’m a huge fan and all but i’m not sure i can do enough Valium to keep up with you guys.
Days of the New had so much potential it was a shame to see what happened. Also, Kurgan, you had me a long time ago when you started out a comment with “back when I did a cover of System of a Down’s Spiders…”
….and back to the movie stuff…
I can fart “Rock the Casbah.”
Would it also be totally meta to beat Jeremy Piven to death with a pipe-wrench?
My band has been looking for a ’80s punk farter, Burnsy. You’re in.
I’ve never seen so many faces in one picture that I’d like to punch.
Especially that guy on the left in the hat, what a cunt. I’d fuck his shit up in an instant.
That’s right, Brits can trash talk too.
I have almost no sense of smell, you guys need a groupy? I can burp the alphabet.
I can play one very loud and dischordant harmonica note and then pass out.
They kicked me out of Blues Traveler :(
Turtle’s fetish for shoes is real life imagery for Mark Wahlberg being a dipshit.
Groupies are always welcome. My wife doesn’t come to the gigs anymore.
I was playing with another band a couple years ago, and a hot girl came up and handed dropped a folded note at my side. I was freaking out – this had never happened before. I couldn’t wait to finish the song to read it.
At the end of the song, I quickly reached down to grab the note. I opened it up and read it. I’ll never forget what it said.
“You guys are playing too loud – can you turn down some? Seriously. You’re too fucking loud.”
It can never be too loud. Never.
I’m interested to hear how you reacted to that, Stoney.
What?
Hopefully he turned it up to 11.
Turning it to 11 is the only response to that, Stone.
One time I was asked to record a song with Sting and Rod Stewart for a movie soundtrack. At the time, Sting and I were feuding over who could hold his preferred tantric sex position longer so I declined.
And it’s a good thing, too. Bryan Adams stepped in and that trio delivered the greatest motion picture song of all-time, “All For Love.”
I’m interested to hear how you reacted to that, Stoney.
Are you joking? I’ve been masturbating to that story ever since.
I mean, I turned it up to 11.
I had my drum kit specially designed with a volume knob. The guy was like “But they’re drums, they’re only as loud as you hit them.”
I said “Fuck you, make them go to 11, mother fucker.”
Then I lit his store on fire.
The fire thing really confused him. He kept yelling “This is a health food store – we don’t even sell drums! WHY GOD WHY???!!!”
Pussy.
Yeah, but did you get the girl’s number?
Stoney-luvvin it, thnx
More why than who?
Way more why than who.
I’d fuck the one on the right.
No, no. Not her. The one that looks like he’s Sean Astin’s brother. Yeah, him.
Kevin Dillon looks like his mom thought the Surgeon General didn’t know what he was talking about with the whole “drinking while pregnant” thing.
For a second after reading the headline, I thought our own fearless leader was going to be on Entourage; then I realized that they already have enough waterheaded retards on that show and came to my senses.
If our buddy GPP was here, we would know there is a new up!
New Up (kinda)!
Dammit Chino! Stealing my fuckin thunder and all what-not!
Great minds, Erswi. Great minds.
I still love ya, babe.
If that stupid chick wasn’t in the picture they could have squeezed in more douche.