Spyglass Entertainment, the studio behind Ghost Town (opening today) has announced that they’ll be making a “vampire buddy comedy” with Owen Wilson toplining.
Entitled Blood Brothers, the film is set to star Owen Wilson in a buddy comedy involving a man and a vampire. Wilson will produce the pic, which sounds like it can go either way (although I wouldn’t put my chips on Wilson anymore). [BloodyDisgusting]
Reached for comment, 1982 said, “Just the other day I called Spyglass Entertainment and told them I wanted my movie back, and now this.”
Spike Lee added, “Blood Brothers. Starring a white guy. Be honest, now you guys are just trying to piss me off, right?”
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Once Bitten and Fright Night were the balls.
Oh, is this why he attemped suicide? Is he the undead now?
Instead of milk, vampires dunk their Oreos in…BLOOD!
To be fair, the sequel will be called “Crip Crackahs”, to appease Mr. Lee.
Remember that one time his brother was a vampire on X-Files? Yeah, that was fun.
*double finger guns at J*
You just got nominated!
Is this going to turn out to be a gay abstinence parable?
Frat houses across America will be impeccably clean until this movie comes out.
Well, The Mighty Feklahr has accepted that Pauly is never coming back, and His “Dre Eastwood” joke is up shit crick without a paddle.
I think Owen Wilson’s vampire is going to suck.
Yeah Michelle, I do. Actually, I can watch it whenever the urge hits me.
::basks in the glow of getting the most awesome COTW prize to date::
Owen Wilson’s victims will have 4 tooth marks and a giant nose bruise.
Thanks Fek. I miss Pauly.
::tilts bottle of Pace and spills picante sauce on floor::
I’m gonna miss that funny spic.
<–Jealous of JHC
I’m pretty sure at some point Owens character will tell the vampire he thinks he looks sexy in an adorable hetero way.
Gene Shallot is O+ that you’ll wish this movie could live forever.
<———Jealous of JHC cause he never runs out of wine at his parties
Damn Chelle. Beat me to an O+ joke will you? Well . . . just for that you’re getting nominated.
Dont B negative Erswi
Don’t B-.
You’re going to retract my nom now aren’t you?
I have to go to work now, please refrain from new Conan posts till I return. I bid you good day sirs and madam.
FYI – Today is international talk like a pirate day.
Err….mateys.
Did we find out where Pauly went?
When The Mighty Feklahr is done hacking little orcses down on LOTRO, He looks at their dying, bleeding little bodies, laughs, and taunts them by calling them all “HEMOGOBLINS!”
QAPLAH! New Conan post up!
Stinky Peet should feel right at home today. The shits of talking like a pirate on the interwebs is that your left index finger gets worn out from holding down the r key.
Pauly is in a “better place”.
J-resist the urge.
Instead of a bat, Owen Wilson’s vampire turns into a baboon.
Fuck that, around here it is officially Kick People Who Are Talking Like a Pirate in Their Reproductive Organs Day.
*Intro, unusually large New York apartment, daytime. All the blinds are closed tight*
Vampire: Did you seriously order garlic breadsticks again?
Buddy: Oh, right. sorry dude, I just love ‘em so much
Vampire: You know I’m allergic, right?
*Buddy makes a cross out of two breadsticks, Vampire brings arms up to shield faces and hisses wildly*
Buddy (to himself): Haha, I never get tired of doing that.
Vampire: I’m so fucking killing you tonight.
*Face
*feces
Lemme guess, Vince Vaughn plays Van Helsing and they end up becoming best friends after their twin sister girlfriends (played by Kate Hudson and Reese Witherspoon) dump them for a pediatrician (Ben Stiller) named Douglas Wolfman and an antiques dealer (Sacha Baren Cohen) named Kingsley Tutstein.
*Intro, Nightclub. Buddy brings two attractive girls over to where Vampire is standing*
Buddy: Dude, these chicks are totally awesome. We should bring ‘em back to our place!
Vampire (sniffing the air): She’s got herpes and she’s on her period, no thanks.
Buddy: Jesus, man! Why do you always have to ruin things?
Vampire: Don’t say that name around me; you know I have sensitive ears.
Donk-Epic Fail on period piece!
I come to bury Pauly, not to praise him.
No wait, no more Pauly? That sux.
Sorry, Fek. Guess I should have found a way to work Oreos into it somehow?
Owen Wilson’s vampire will suffer a tragic early death when he tries to slam a can of Coors Light against his chest.
I think it would be funny if the vampire works for Omaha Steaks and is trying hard to make middle management on the night shift, while Owen Wilson is his ne’er-do-well slacker roommate that wears snarky t-shirts like “My Roommate Sucks.”
New up, asspanks.