When Shane Black was announced as the director of Cold Warrior the other day, it led many to believe the rumored Lethal Weapon 5 was off. But now EW reports that Black is still interested in it and is waiting on the okay from Mel Gibson.
Truth is, the delay has nothing to do with Black, who wrote the first Lethal script and has penned a long treatment for a fifth iteration. (In fact, he plans to take over the director’s reins from Richard Donner.) Lethal number 5 still hinges on Mel Gibson, who’s currenlty filming Edge of Darkness in Boston. Longtime Lethal producer Joel Silver has been trying to nail down approval from Gibson about Black’s approach, which includes introducing a pair of young NYPD cops. [EW]
Hmm, I think I see the problem here. The guy trying to talk Mel Gibson into this is named Joel Silver. He just wants to chat, but every time he calls, Mel’s convinced he’s trying to start a war. Anyway, it’s probably just as well. You know the new cops would just be Nick Cannon and some squinty white guy like Josh Hartnet or Taters Channing or whatever his name is.
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This shit is getting too old for ME!
Shane Black is awesome, best screen writer EVA!
I’d rather watch Lethal Injection 1: The Jack Kevorkian Story.
I think Mel should bring back the mullet… bring it back!
They should move the franchise to San Fran and cast Zac Efron and Clay Aiken as a pair of rookie cops who get to the bottom of things.
They FUCK you in the old folks home! Three hours of bullshit Perry Mason reruns followed by some fucking pills that make your shit orange, then a tiny fucking Jell-o fruit cup!
SHUT UP LEO!
I too have started fights with cops and with the Jews. But then, I have… Diplomatic Immunity!
I want Michael Winslow to play the Danny Glover part.
I’d rather see a sequel to The Perfect Weapon, with Jeff Speakman returning as the lead.
*spins ring from puppy dog to koala bear*
Who wants to hug it out now, bitches?
Black and Silver are having more success than the NFL franchise of the same colors.
Dee plow maytik, imyoo ni ti.
Pauly Dingle, do you even sleep anymore, or are you just hyped up on meth?
Mel just doesn’t see the point in making a movie whose release date won’t matter in 2012 anyway.
No way, J. Meth slows me down.
Hey Vince! What is with all the movie related news over there? Who the fuck does he think he is, you?
Time to start scooping him on the Britney stories… and do some sports too you lazy cunt.
Wasn’t Leathal Weapon about Fek’s ass after burrito night?
Mel refuses to sign on until they agree to make Mossad the bad guy in this one.
Mel wants to take a long, hard shit and think it over.
Hey J, who do like in the Cincy (-3.5) vs. Browns game?
Mel’s just torn between “being driven to set all day and getting paid” and “being a famous hermit”.
{Shows Black map of US}
See all these other dots with names by them? Well, see, there are other cities in the US besides LA, and NY! Really you shallow fuck, can you pick someplace else for you new ancilliary dipshit cops to come from?
Crap, nobody wants to see a movie about Chinese cops, bro.
{Black’s head explodes}
Guess not.
So that’s what happened to Jackie Chan, Chod? I wondered.
{Shows Black map of US} <– does it list all of the KFC and other Fried Chicken selling joints in the US?
C-Dog, I’d say take Cincy, but that just means the Darkies will win, so….
“..nobody wants to see a movie about Chinese cops…”
I think I do.
“Fleeze! Porice!”
{Clicks on Browns}
Thanks broham!
The Black map also has all swimming pools highlighted and all roads lead to the Kool-Aid factory.
I can’t really explain this, but…um…Mel Gibson’s face looks like a hockey mask.
It’ll be your fucking luck that I start channeling Nostradamus this weekend, Crappy.
Again, I don’t even know what the fuck that means.
Crap, nobody wants to see a movie about Chinese cops, bro.
I dunno, I’d watch a show called Raw and Older.
Cool, AIDS!
Braveheart was such a fucking good movie that I can let Mel slide for his indiscretions. Then again, I’m not a Jew, so his rants really don’t bother me. Plus, homeboy loves the drink. How bad can he be? It’s not like he’s Kirk Cameron.
“Carring awr cars! Carring awr Cars! Robbery at Rucky Riquors of Rincorn Rane!”
{notices two racial stereotype threads in this post at once, tear comes to eye}
I ruv you guys!
In this script, Mel finally gets to hook up with Murtaugh’s daughter(‘s daughter).
Sorry JHC, but Braveheart was pretty average…
Mel is one swastika tattoo away from Helter Skelterville…
“Crap, nobody wants to see a movie about Chinese cops, bro.”
I changed my mind, let’s watch ‘E.F.Rye Climb Teen Inventors’.
Stone, no foot job under the table?
I got a foot job once.
She claimed she was kicking me in the balls, but I totally came.
No. Murtaugh’s granddaughter doesn’t have time for footsie. She’s got three kids to take care of – she gets right to the fuckin’.
bryce, if I was any more average, I’d have another half a child.
Sergeant Riggs is still the best shot on the police force but now his gun only fires blanks.
I would love to see Riggs do a 3 Stooges bit…then say the crime he is trying to solve is all their fault.
Riggs walks into the convenience store and finds that his favorite snack food’s price has increased. He walks up to the counter screaming about how it’s unfair and puts his gun in his mouth. The guy behind the counter says “I know, I know – you’re just crazy enough to do it. You’ve been telling me that for 17 years now. That’ll be $5.75, Sergeant.”
The twist, Riggs’ favorite snack food is bullets.