Revolutionary Road comes from American Beauty director Sam Mendes and stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet (ZOMG, it’s Jack and Rose from Titanic!). They play a couple of Connecticut suburbanites struggling to come to terms with how boring it is being a Connecticut suburbanite.
Based on a novel by Richard Yates, it’s set in the 1950s, a time when a man could still say a thing like “Paris – people are alive there, not like here,” without fear of getting punched in the dick for being a giant cheeseball. Based on the trailer, I’m not sure where they’re going with this. As American Beauty showed, bored suburban dads are only interesting after they decide to quit their jobs, smoke pot, and bang their teenage daughter’s friends.
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If they want to spice it up, why not just try anal?
The ending sucks on this. Their heat goes out in the dead of winter. She says something to the effect of “I’m so cold, hold me, never let go, etc… Then he dies trying to get to their back up generator running, and she just sits on the kitchen table until the fire department gets there.
+”
In regards to DJ AM and Travis Barkers plane crash:
Kathy Griffin: “That is a terrifying, terrifying experience to go through, and thank God two of the guys survived, but, oh man. It’s a scary, scary thing for everyone to go through.”
Oh sure, god had something to do with THAT.
Said Travis Barker:
“It burns when I pee”
If Connecticut suburbanites are anything like Nebraska suburbanites, I’m sure they hop on the tractor, head “uptown”, shoot the shit with the locals, then head home to fuck their sisters.
What they really need to do is open up a Krazy Klingon Kult franchise! The only one we have on the East Coast is in Boston and is filled with asshole Red Sox fans. Yeah, we get it, “Ortiz hits da ball wicked fah!”…fucknuts…
In an effort to stop being just like everybody else, Leo & Kate grow their bangs long, dye their hair jet-black, start wearing black & white striped shirts and get large multiple facial piercings; emo is born.
This just reeks of one of those fake trailers where they take clips out of context, change the music, and voila! The Shining is a comedy!
Case Emo
“IF TITANIC WAS A HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS”… would I, drunkenly driving my El Camino through the neighborhood, be the iceberg?
Well, this weekend had it’s ups and downs:
Downs (Syndrome):
-The Hawkeye lost by ONE point…to Pitt…:(
-Bears lost.
-Colts lost.
Ups:
-Cubs clinched
-I am currently winning by 90 points in my fantasy football game
-I leveled up my dwarven champion on LOTRO
No Billy Zane? Pass.
What’s Leo so bummed about? She’s about to crap out a kid and that means one thing: babysitter.
Fek, I have a funny joke for you:
Steve Bartman walks into a bar with a goat under each arm. The bartender says, “What’s with the goats?” Bartman replies, “Fuck the Cubs, I hope they’re all raped in hell.”
Who in Kahless’ Beard is Steve Bartmen?
He’s this Cardinals fan’s hero.
This isn’t the place, but I have to vent.
Pass Interference? Are you fucking kidding me? When a receiver runs into a linebacker that is a) not looking at nor covering the receiver in question, and b) isn’t EVEN FUCKING MOVING!!!, how then can he be called for pass interference? Hmmm? Answer me goddamnit!!! Answer now!!!!
Aww…no one believes Him when He acts ignorant any more. :(
When a receiver runs into a linebacker that is a) not looking at nor covering the receiver in question, and b) isn’t EVEN FUCKING MOVING!!!, how then can he be called for pass interference?
Corrupt officials?
The iceberg is ennui.
*Punches self in the dick*
That call was bullshit, Fek. That whole fucking game was called shitilly. That pick six hurt the worst. Harrison was basically thrown to the ground, but the official was apparently checking out the cheerleaders. FUCK MIKE!
::stumbles back into online world::
Every house in the suburbs is the Titanic.
Oh, He forgot, in His “Ups and Downs”:
Today His glut and quads are burning like a mofo. You know what that means!
BOM CHICKA BOW WOW!
(Get it? “Ups and Downs”!)
If I wanted to hear tired dialogue about miserable unfulfilled suburbanites, I’d leave the bar before closing and go home.
Fuck Martha Stewart. She’s polishing the brass on the Titanic. It’s all going down!
J, when you see plays and calls like that, the Buffalo Wild Wings commercial with the ref isn’t as funny anymore.
I wonder if this one will also feature Kathy Bates getting naked and painted. That’s easily my favorite memory from Titanic.
A Suburban Connecticut home being compared to the Titanic? Nonsense! No one in that house will ever go down.
Heart-fucking-breaking, Burnsy. Oh well, my loss is Anheuser Busch’s gain.
In Scott Bakula’s latest leap, he woke up next to Leo DiCaprio and had no clue which decade he was in.
Travis Barker thinks this movie is hot. No wait, that’s just his skin.
What the fuck is Chicken Biryani?
New Up!
The Mighty Feklahr thinks this is some kind of euphemism…New England is as white as far as you can see…maybe the people are the iceberg and the house is…oh, fuck it!
GRRR…DEAD TRANNY
REFEREEHOOKER!I hope Kevin Spacey shows up and shoots himself in the face.
Do they even KNOW there’s a swimming pool around the corner? Fuck! That would change everything!