In an interview with rgbfilter, Heavy Metal publisher Kevin Eastman revealed that a-listers Guillermo Del Toro, Zack Snyder, and Gore Verbinski, will be directing segments of the Heavy Metal animated film for Exec Producer David Fincher.
The feature is scheduled to include eight or nine segments, and is being envisioned as an adult-themed R-rated film. Animator Tim Miller and Eastman himself are also expected to direct segments. The original 1981 film was also an anthology of sci-fi and fantasy stories adapted from the Heavy Metal magazine. The magazine and the film are known for their overuse of bloody violence, nudity and sexuality. [/Film]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what exactly do you mean by “overuse”?
Time to play “Guess Who’s Getting Paid for This”
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I did not like Heavy Metal. At all. There, now it’s out there.
The Japanese plan to premier this on Saturday morning television.
JHC, I have to agree. I never liked it. Wizards? Maybe Hobbit? Oh yeah. Orson Bean, baby
Bloody violence and nudity are enough thank you, I’ll bring my own sexuality.
Is it about one specific heavy metal, like zinc, or about all of them?
Since when is Zack Snyder an A-lister? Wait, didn’t Friedberg and Seltzer parody one of his movies?
*nods head slowly in understanding*
Arsenic and Lead, Nom
Heavy Metal is awesome. It taught me that it’s okay to fuck monsters and that I can lift that really heavy broadsword, even when I’m just wearing a loin cloth and some beaded necklaces.
Well, Michelle, that stuff is true.
That picture would be a lot easier to jerk off to if one of the guys in the background didn’t look like my dad.
Hey, just because I said it would be easier doesn’t mean I’m not doing it already.
Porn version will be called Heavy Met-tail. Kim Kardashian will be playing herself. Or playing with herself if her career sinks any lower.
Donk, your dad looks like a Hispanic version of Farva from Super Troopers?
(top right in hat)
I think the brunette with the dirty face has better hair and her tits look real. The blonde probably does anal though. It’s a coin flip.
Cargo. Jeans.
Real close, Doc. If you look right below that guy, you’ll see. My dad is a right arm.
If the guy behind the hippie could look any nerdier he’d be…snif…my twin brother BobPoolParty.
Fuck Burnsy, he needs somewhere to carry the tissues for spanking it and judging by his hair, his legs haven’t seen the sunlight since the last recess of sixth grade.
Burnsy, he has important stuff to carry in his pockets. Like business card where he calls himself “Esq.” and ” Mage about town”
Are there any women at these things that aren’t being paid?
I’ll stick with the South Park version.
All the Heavy Metal sequels in the world can’t bring John Candy back.
*sniff*
nePoo, the women that are there unpaid look exactly as you’d expect the brunette in that pic to look wearing a bikini.
Why is no one making a Far Side feature film?
Heavy Metal also has many erectors
“Thank for the photo, so, um, do you like Hot Pockets and stuff?”
Why is no one making a Far Side feature film?
Nobody can get a good script in the door, Stoney. Maybe if they would try pulling…
There is an unwritten rule that there need to be 14 Garfield movies before someone can attempt to properly ruin The Far Side.
<=== Unaffected by the violence in Heavy Metal.
I had a subscription to Heavy Metal magazine in the early 80s. I wonder if my mom still has them. Naah, I think she threw away all the mags with stuck together pages.
So, am I wrong in thinking the guy to the left is Brendan Fraser from Airheads? Where’s his water pistol?
Ok – I speak this with the fear it will actually happen.
A Goofus and Gallant feature starring Will Ferrel and Steve Carrel. You know you’d watch it.
Stoney, only if they did a Timbertoes featurette before the film.
I’d watch Nicolas Cage in ‘The Berenstain Bears”
10:1 odds that the music in Heavy Metal is atleast 50% hard rock rap mashups
I’d watch Nick Cage in “Bangkok ’till It’s Dangerously Bruised”
Oh, and for the record, I have no idea what Heavy Metal magazine or whatever is nor did I feel like spending the time to find out. But the sex and violence part sounded good.
I bet McG is gonna do a live action AKIRA remake.
When technology catches up, you better believe I’ll pay to see a live-action Urotsukidoji movie. Save some astro-glide for me.
Well, listen to Mr. I’m 27 and too cool to know 80s culture.
That reminds me, Vince. When can we see the alternate thumb ending with the dragon calendar?
Gallant applauds Stone Soup‘s creative bit if fantasy casting.
Goofus destroys Stoney’s internet hub and anally rapes him with a pool cue for actually posting it where someone in Hollywood might read it.
Gallant helpfully suggests that Goofus could use some more chalk.
Vince, watch the South Park parody of it – it’s the one where they’re getting cats to piss on their faces to get high.
It’s all you need to know about it. Other than the fact that the movie is probably one of those that artsy fucks like your professors consider as ‘influential’, so you should probably see it. Punk.
Can’t a brother like an animated movie with sex and violence? Beggars couldn’t exactly be choosers back when they were 14.
Gallant keeps his desk nice and neat.
Goofus decides he wants to set Gallant’s desk on fire.
Gallant offers Goofus the use of his lighter.
C’mon, sexual? For fuck’s sake it was made in ’81! Back when the beavers were hairy, the chicks didn’t do anal except in the “really filthy” pornos, and the only way facials happened were on accident.
I know, J. that Accident chick got really tired of being the only one, but it made her a good living.
Vince, if you see Heavy Metal, I’ll watch Boondock Saints. Deal?
::spits on hand and outstretches for handshake::
High fives Donkey.
I hope this is as awesome as acoustic death metal.
JHC, I guess you don’t remember what it was like to be 14. National Geographic was hardcore porn back then.
You know what else has many directors? The valet company that parks dicks in your mom.
Guys, guys. Beat-off to Highlights magazine.
THEN, holla at me.
Chodin, I self park.
All day, every day.
Actually Gene, my buddy had found his old man’s porn stash when we were twelve. By the time fourteen rolled around, I was pretty jaded. And calloused.
If you guys didn’t ‘bate nuts to scrambled porn….
DEAD 2 ME
Don’t hate…’bate (in some chick’s hair).
To be honest, my masturbating now makes me nervous for my masturbating 10 years from now.
NePoo, I guess you didn’t have the fortune of childhoods found Victoria’s Secret? I still get a reminescent tear everytime it comes in the mail.
“Don’t hate…’bate (in some chick’s hair).”
I’m getting that tattoo’d on my balls. ASAP
If you guys want to bust a nut quick, skim through Chodin’s baby pictures.
I’m fairly certain that I’ve dispatched my soldiers to every form of media. Books, TV, movies, radio, Morse code…
Don’t get me wrong, I totally skinned the varmint after watching Heavy Metal. I’m just saying I did it all the time anyway. It wasn’t because of watching anything in particular. I was just awake and still had a penis…
I still have a penis, for the record. Ask your Moms. I just meant I hadn’t used it to the point of it falling off when I was a kid. Ah fuck it. Damage is done. Probably not gonna live that one down anytime soon.
Guy 1: Hey does that cloud look like a…?
Guy 2: Way ahead of you, dude!
No one on this list can claim to be the master of their domain
Joke: Hey, you wanna’ know what’s heavy and made of metal?
Punchline: Your fat, Wiccan sister’s dragon-shaped candle holder.
Joke: Knock-knock.
Punchline: Let me in, I don’t give a fuck if we broke up back in college! I’ve driven 43 hours, across state, to kill you and your new boyfriend, bitch.
MIZ, when I was but a pup, Victoria’s Secret was just a gleam in the Limited’s eye. The only underwear on public display was the Sears catalog. I did jerk to scrambled pay channels though. It taught me to appreciate Picasso. And tits.
Hell yeah. Just one fleeting glimpse of a nipple, and it was “fire at will”.
I’m sure Will’s pissed. I too liked the scrambled, but I was one of those that tried to build the often fabled homemade “converter boxes.” Man, life before the internet sucked. How did everyone make it?
MIZ, I used to have what historians have often called an “imagination”. It’s kind of like a dream, but you’re awake and you’re controlling it. Mine died long ago and has been replaced by the ability to randomly select images from movies I’ve seen.
What’s does it smell like bleach and cheetos in here?
Homos!!!!
That girl’s going to feel pretty silly when she sees her tan lines. Preeety damn silly.
Her body makeup is doing a good job of covering those boyfriend bruises.
According to her gloves, she’s also quite the driver.
aaaaand I don’t ever need to see that picture again
That’s how woman cops will dress in the future.
In my sexy, sexy future.
“You have the right to remain silent and erect!”
I can vaguely remember watching Heavy Metal once upon a time. The tits were a pleasant distraction but the writing? Oy vey.
Head for the hills, there’s a durst on the loose. Fuckers. As I’ve been busy today and am just checking in i’m now going to not read everything that has been posted today. How’d you like them apples?
duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurst
are Aimless or any of the other late night lurkers roaming about?
Wait, so is this or is this not a sequel to Kurt & Courtney?
Hehe. But seriously, you know what would be ten times better? If the guys involved directed anything else good. Ever. Since when the fuck is Gore Verbinski a draw? I went to camp with a kid who would video-document his bowel-movements because of an unhealthy obsession with pinworms. I would honestly put him above Verbinski on a list of influential directors. He influenced me alright. And millions, MILLIONS, of pinworms.