These days, we expect to hear names of directors like McG and Brett Ratner and Stephen Sommers mentioned alongside comic book projects like Thor. But today Variety reports that in a surprise move, Marvel is in talks with Kenneth Branagh. And yes, that’s the same Kenneth Branagh who directed Shakespeare adaptations Hamlet, As You Like It, and Henry V.
“Thor” comicbook adaptation, penned by Mark Protosevich, follows disabled medical student Donald Blake, who has an alter ego as the hammer-wielding Norse god Thor.
The “Thor” negotiations come during a resurgence for Branagh. He’s currently drawing raves on the London stage in the title role of “Ivanov,” and he’ll next be seen acting in the Richard Curtis-directed “The Boat That Rocked” and the Bryan Singer-helmed “Valkyrie.”
To sum up, a guy who’s really into Shakespeare is directing a movie about a disabled med student who somehow turns into a Viking God superhero. Dude, this is gonna be an f-d up movie.
Reached for comment, Brett Ratner said, “This totally reminds me of a t-shirt that my buddy has. It’s got a picture of Shakespeare on it, and it says, get this, ‘Prose Before Hoes’! They should totally work that into the movie somehow because it’s f-ckin funny. Also, they should do a scene about taquitos. Taquitos are f-ckin’ delicious, bro.”
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“Variety reports that Marvel has pulled and end around is in talks with Kenneth Branagh to direct…”
I totally wish that sentence made sense to me. I think I’m getting stoopider.
Is that as fun as a reach around?
I think it means that the ugly chick in the threesome felt left out so you have to pull her end around and stroke it a few times to make her feel just as important as the cute chick i mainly had been banging.
The shark fin soup was delish!
Vince will correct that and the mistake in the caption, and the night crew will think to themselves, “what the fuck are Al and Gene talking about”.
” The ‘Thor’ negotiations come during a resurgence…”
My Thor negotiations always cum during foreplay.
Dude, taquitos are pretty fucking sweet. But Ratner just likes them because he can pretend like he’s blowing a Mexican guy.
My guess is “pulled and end around” has something to do with Kim Kardashian being considered for the film.
It was supposed to read “an end around” not “and end around”, but regardless, I should probably avoid football imagery from now on.
My penis looks like pigskin.
Well, see, there you go. “An end around” still wouldn’t have made any sense to non-football-appreciating me. Now, if you’d said something like “… and have pulled the goaltender” I would have completely understood.
This post is being changed more often than Kirk Douglas’s diapers.
Someone go check on Donkey, I’m worried he might be dead.
I think a cool superhero concept would be a disabled medical student who has an alter ego as a guy who tells oxymoronic stand-up jokes.
No Diremutt, Donk or JHC. Almost no Fek or erswi. Pretty fuckin’ weird today.
*Punches through ground in cemetery, climbs out of grave, starts dancing*
Ratner believes Branagh would be perfect to do a superhero movie because he thinks his last name is a fraternity colloquialism for “Brother No” and he thinks that’s an awesome superhero name.
This conflicts with my project that would bring Victorian Era Superhero to the big screen. “I say, villainy must always be scheduled for after high tea, hmmm? Indeed.”
No Diremutt, Donk or JHC. Almost no Fek or erswi.
Musta been quite a party none of the rest of us were invited to. Bastards.
Kenneth Branagh’s Thor will say “Is this Mjolnir which I see before me, the handle toward my hand?”
Not dead today, just doing a lot of work. Having a boss on vacation sucks apparently.
Ratner signed on to the project when he heard “hammer-wielding Thor”, because it reminded him of a tranny he went down on once.
Sorry, been away from the office for a bit. I’m back now.
You all better be submitting your timesheets to me by the end of the day to account for your activities.
Those motherfuckers at Marvel just deked us out of our skates!
I thought I met Thor once. I woke up in the hospital next to a guy who had gotten dragged out of a country bar and beaten pretty badly. Did you know that rednecks assume all guys with lisps are gay?
Victorian Era Superhero works better when you imagine he’s saying “scheduled” as “shed-yooled.”
Al, those TPS reports aren’t going to put their own cover sheets on them, are they?
Sexy. Now we’re on the same page, Vance. Except the only other person who understands you now besides me is Donk.
Vince, had you worked the phrase “dipsy-doodle” into that metaphor, Al would have seriously flown to New York and blown you.
Try to deke me, will you Marvel? I’ll meet you at center ice with a wicked high stick and then hook you just for fun.
Whoa. What happened there? It’s like I was possessed or something.
Did I seriously just read that headline or am I still drunk from the night before?
“For Thor” and “Seven Pounds” ago, our forefathers….
“How dare you set your dinner table without plate chargers, sir! Thompkins, fetch me my dueling glove! This impudence shall not remained unchallenged!”
These are the jokes. Should I go back to work?
B.K. maybe you can help me with this. What the fuck is a plate charger?
Disabled Med Student says: “Derrrrrrpp, bertt da bert ta bert. Duuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhh”
I almost ate off a plate charger at some family function once and everyone laughed at me. Oh gee, excuse the fuck out of me for not realizing that the thing on the table that looks like a big fucking plate wasn’t meant to eat off.
The retard committee will find solace in this film, after picketing Tropic Thunder.
erswi, that’s what you call a pitcher who really hates the umpire.
Little known fact, while Thor’s hammer, named Mjolnir is his most famous weapon, he also owns a handheld chopping weapon named “The Insect’s Midsection”
He just doesn’t use it often because of its dumb name. If only he could think of something better.
So yeah . . . ummm . . . since Uffy kicked me offa WithoutLaughter (and for naught but masterminding one little invasion) fuckin LSU Tigers get no fuckin respect from the AP, am I right?
What’chya gonna do with all that ump, all that dead ump in yo’ trunk?
You see, because he’s a Victorian-era manners based superhero. So he does nothing but hate the poor. It’s like Tony Stark except without the robot suit.
Nevermind, it’s back to working on my own original character, The Preservist. He’s got excellent organizational skills.
What Erswi, you don’t own any wireless plates?
Sounds like Vince’s family is a bunch of snobs. At gatherings at Casa Al, we eat off the floor.
Oh, Erswi, I can help you feel better, just come over here
To be fair, it was hosted by someone who wasn’t a blood relation. And I’d gotten really stoned with my dad beforehand, so perhaps I was partially to blame.
Oh Vince, how gauche of you! Don’t tell me you also tried keeping your salad fork after that course too, did you? Oh the pure drollery of you plebeians! Ha! it is to laugh.
Fuck table manners!
New up!
Well that tells us who here doesn’t use plate chargers.